Features
Features - Introduction
Features - Introduction
Our Feature section this month is dedicated to the theme of deliverance from homosexuality. We are indebted to the ministry of Exodus International for providing these stories and articles as well as other material found throughout this issue of Morning Star.
The Search for Father's Love
The Search for Father's Love
THE SEARCH FOR FATHER'S LOVE

By Penny Dalton


I knew that unless I forgave my parents, especially Dad, I'd be stuck forever in bitterness and hatred.


I was three months old when my dad left for World War II, and three-and-a-half years old when he returned. At his homecoming, I stood at the top of the stairs leaning over the railing as he entered the foyer below and said, "Hi, Daddy! Are you my daddy?" This emotional distance existed in our relationship most of my life.

I remember hardly anything about my early years until I was about seven years old. One night, at bedtime, Dad came to say goodnight to my sister and me. After we said our prayers, he turned out the lights and left or so I thought. A while later he let out a scary yell, which frightened me terribly. Then he laughed. Apparently this scenario happened often, for I distinctly remember fearing that Dad was always in my room at night.

Dad's work took him out of the house for days on end, and when he was home on weekends we would all be afraid of him. He disciplined us heavily. He never hit us, but his verbal abuse sunk deep into our souls. And Dad drank a lot. He got ugly when he drank, slamming doors and verbally putting down my mom in very sarcastic ways.

Our family didn't know how to communicate. We never talked about our feelings. I could only talk with Mom, and we always tried to work out what was wrong with Dad. He was so "shut down" emotionally, and we blamed him for everything.

Dad and I loved each other, despite his faults and my fears. Part of me admired him. He had a lot of good qualities, when he wasn't drinking. He was clean and neat, always on time, and a man of his word. But he was also a perfectionist, and I lived under the constant fear of doing something wrong.

During the years before adolescence, I was a loner, except for one "special girl friend," which led to sexual attraction and exploration.

The most devastating times for me came during my early teens. The neighbor couple became my parents' weekend "drinking buddies." Dad started having an affair with the wife, which caused turmoil within our family. I felt betrayed and confused. I had loved this neighbor woman a lot, but I came to hate her. I had loved my dad, too, but also began hating him.

Then Dad's sexual advances began. No intercourse ever took place, but we did just about every other kind of sexual act. I was afraid of Dad, so I wouldn't speak up against what he was doing. Meanwhile, I was angry at my mom. Where is she? Why can 't she figure out what Dad is doing to me? Who can help me? What can I do?

I felt so violated, both emotionally and physically, that I couldn't stand looking at Dad or even being in the same room with him.

During adolescence, homosexual feelings surfaced in me. I was filled with insecurity, not sure about who I was or what would happen in my life. I was detached from Mom, hated Dad, and wanted to hurt them both. So I felt justified in doing whatever I wanted, including the pursuit of a lesbian relationship.

The first one lasted nine years. In that time, I drank heavily and also took "recreational" drugs. I knew something was wrong, but my emotions were so buried that I couldn't "feel" anything but emptiness.

Eventually I ended up in a psychiatric ward, diagnosed as severely schizophrenic. During that period, I experienced a terrible break-up with my lover, and got involved in a new relationship. A new start! A brighter future!

For a year-and-a-half we tried, but failed. We were both headstrong. I was afraid and scared, miserable and dead inside. The void within me was so vast, so black, that nothing seemed to fill it.

I tried reading the Bible, but couldn't understand it. Then one day I heard a song about Jesus, and my "spiritual ears" were opened. A few weeks later I experienced the most frightening vision of black emptiness I'd ever known. But I also felt an overwhelming presence of peace and warmth which I now recognize as the Holy Spirit. I surrendered, and instantly knew my problem: I was separated from God.

Somehow I knew that I needed Jesus to connect me with God, so I asked Jesus to enter my life and make me into the person He wanted. I began to experience the inner peace I'd been looking for all my life.

Ironically, my lover accepted Christ as Savior approximately two weeks before I did. Neither one of us knew of the other's conversion until we found each other reading the Bible. Changes started deep within each of us.

More than anything, I wanted to please God. As I grew, two things happened. First, the Lord began a divine division between my lover and me. Eventually we stopped sleeping together. Second, the Holy Spirit swiftly convicted me of my need to honor my parents (Eph 6:2-3). I knew that unless I forgave my parents, especially Dad, I would be stuck forever in bitterness and hatred.

I took God's Word seriously. I wanted to experience peace in my parental relationships. I wanted to be free from the ugly memories. But my pain ran deep. Just thinking about my dad, I would almost throw up. Yet Jesus had forgiven me, so I knew I must also forgive Dad.

In the beginning, though, I didn't understand forgiveness. I thought that if I forgave Dad, I'd be re-opening all the emotional areas that he had violated, that I'd be exposing myself again to his hurting me. Finally I realized that forgiveness doesn't mean agreeing with what some person did to me. Nor does it mean that what they did doesn't matter.

No, forgiveness was simply choosing to release Dad from my vengeance. That enabled me to begin removing the hardness from my heart and clearing my communication with the Lord.

Then I pleaded with God to give me a new heart for my father. Even though I'd forgiven him, I kept seeing pictures in my mind of terrible events involving my father and me. God showed me that these "instant replays" were a ploy of Satan to challenge the Lord's working in my life.

I took authority over those awful memories. Every time they tried to haunt me, I commanded them to leave in the name of Jesus. Also, I confessed out loud that I had forgiven my dad. It was a real battle, but eventually I felt a new freedom from the past.

Beside the whole issue of bad memories, the Lord gave me another clear choice. For years I had grumbled about my dad not meeting my needs. But I sensed God saying, "You had much higher expectations than your father was ever able to fulfill, even if the verbal and sexual abuse had never taken place. Are you willing to accept the fact that your father will never be able to meet your needs?"

I was at a point of decision. One path was clinging to my "rights" to hold hatred toward him. Or I could let go of my dream of having a perfect father and allow God to bring healing.

I chose the latter, releasing all my expectations of the "perfect" father. God would be my Father, I could trust that He would never hurt me. At that instant, I felt as though fifty tons had rolled off my back.

Then, in February 1982, my father was diagnosed with lung cancer. Chemotherapy started immediately. My greatest fear was that Dad would die without Christ. Interestingly, that fear showed me the depth of forgiveness I had already experienced toward him.

Due to Dad's illness, my sister came to know the Lord. But Dad still didn't want to hear any of that "religious talk" about God. Then I asked my sister if she had told Dad about her new relationship with Christ. "Do I really have to?" she asked. I encouraged her to speak with him.

The day after Christmas, Dad was very sick. My sister was talking with him on the couch when I heard her call me. "What is it?" I answered.

"Dad just doesn't understand that he needs to ask Jesus into his life in order to get to heaven."

I knelt down in front of my father and looked him straight in the eyes, something I had never been able to do.

"Pop, what is it you don't understand?"

"I don't believe in hell," he said.

"It doesn't matter whether you believe in hell or not," I answered. "The Bible says that there is a hell, so there is a hell."

"I want to be cremated," he retorted.

I thought for a moment before answering. "I don't know what the Bible says about that, but one thing is for sure. Cremation will not be the end of you. Your spirit will leave your body when you die, and you'll be eternally separated from God."

Leaning forward, I continued. "Pop, we're a family. We're going to heaven and we want you with us!"

His face relaxed, and then he said the words I'd prayed for years to hear: "What do I have to do?"

During the next few minutes, my sister and I had the glorious honor of leading our dad to the Lord. He prayed with us, asking for God's forgiveness and accepting Christ as his Savior.

I didn't see the kind of changes in him that often accompany conversion. He was too ill to read the Bible or tell others about Jesus. But I did see God working within him. My dad had been a very bitter, angry man. All that anger seemed to fall away as the Lord's Spirit gave him a new calm and peace. I sensed that he felt God's love.

Another important event took place before dad died the following June. He'd never spoken to me about my former lesbian involvement, but I knew he was ashamed of me. The cancer had gone to his brain by then and I wasn't really sure he would understand what I was about to say. But it was so heavy on my heart that I had to tell him.

I leaned over him and talked quietly. "Pop, I never really was the daughter you expected me to be. I'm so sorry about that. Please forgive me."

Dad gave no visible response, but I continued on anyway. "You know, you weren't the father I expected either. But I've forgiven you. And God's given me such a love for you, Pop." My tears flowed freely as I kissed his forehead. "I'm so glad we'll be together forever with Him."

The whole time I talked, Dad said nothing. Whether or not he comprehended me, I have such joy in knowing from his heavenly vantage-point now he sees all the work God has done and is doing in my life. And I know Dad must be very pleased.

In the years since Dad died, my growth has continued. God has done such a marvelous work in my life. As He released me from hatred, unforgiveness and bitterness, my bondage to homosexuality was broken. And He has given me true love and forgiveness toward my precious parents. How I thank Him, for now I love them the way He always intended.


Penny Dalton is co-director of Whosoever Will Ministry in Middletown, N.Y. This testimony is adapted from Out of Egypt: Leaving Lesbianism Behind by Jennette Howard (Monarch Publications). Copyright c1991 by Jennette Howard. Distributed by Love In Action, PO Box 2655, San Rafael, CA 94912. Used with permission of Exodus International.
An End to the Loneliness
An End to the Loneliness
AN END TO THE LONELINESS

By Bill Hernandez


Even after I arrived at the "top" of the homosexual lifestyle, I was still lonely and unhappy.


As I emerged into puberty, I made a surprising discovery: I was sexually attracted to the male body. At first this didn't disturb me. As a young Hispanic teen growing up in the 1960s, straightening my hair like "The Beatles," a popular singing group at the time, was more important than my sexuality.

In my early teens my dad gave condoms to me and my brother. "These are for protection," he said casually. He asked us no questions; he gave us no instructions. The only other sex education I received from my dad was watching him gawk at women and listening to his exaggerated descriptions of the female body.

My mom, on the other hand, was more interested in other aspects of male-female relationships. I remember her instructions: "If you take a girl to the movies, she expects you to put your arm around her. If you kiss her, put some muscle into your lips!"

It never occurred to me that I was supposed to be aroused when I kissed my date. I always felt disinterested, like I was play-acting. Maybe I'm just a late bloomer, I consoled myself.

I was effeminate and everyone frequently reminded me of that fact. I was deeply hurt by names like "queer," "faggot," "homo," "sissy," and "pansy." My family kept correcting my effeminate behavior. "Don't put your hand on your hip," they'd say. Or they'd insult me with remarks like "I hope your garter doesn't fall off" when I complained about a difficult chore. I got the clear message: Something was wrong with me.

Finally I realized that people were pointing out my sexual orientation, but in an indirect, cruel way. I did some research, reading medical and psychological descriptions in obscure books in a dark corner of the library. My worst fears were confirmed: I was a dreaded teenage homosexual!

One day I confessed to my parents: "I think I'm a homosexual." They were confused and anxious. My father blamed my mom. "I told you that you should have let me take him to a prostitute!"

"It's not my fault. It's your fault," she retorted. Dad took me to a physician to get male hormone shots but the doctor recommended a psychiatrist. Counseling did nothing more than help me become more assertive and nasty with my parents.

In secret I continued having homosexual fantasies, never daring to tell anyone. Eventually I escaped my family by going to college at U.C. Berkeley.

There, in the fall of 1971, I met a guy from Campus Crusade for Christ who wanted to tell me about Jesus. We met regularly and eventually I prayed on my own to accept Jesus as my Lord and Savior. At first I got involved in Bible studies and was very interested in discovering more about the Lord. But, in time, I began drifting in my Christian walk. I got more and more into alcohol and drugs, and felt increasingly drawn toward homosexual involvement.

One night I got very drunk with a college friend. He admitted that he was a homosexual. "I'm bisexual," I confessed, not willing to admit the full truth. But from that point on, I slid right into the gay lifestyle.

It was mid-1974 when I started going to the bars. I was elated; I couldn't believe there were so many people who thought and felt like me. No one called me names or questioned whether I was normal . Instead, people expressed their attraction to me. The gay life seemed to answer my needs for understanding and acceptance. The "real me" was free at last. I shed about 40 pounds within a few months, literally dancing the nights away with glee, alcohol, drugs, and men.

Right away I found out that I enjoyed affirmation and acceptance more than sex. My first sexual encounter utterly disgusted me. I always had qualms about sex with other men, so I drank alcohol or took drugs to rid myself of inhibitions. Even after sexual encounters became habitual, deep inside they seemed strange and dirty.

I became a bartender at the White Horse Bar in Oakland, Calif., a position that made me popular and available. I knew many people at that bar; we were like one big family. Most of the customers were alcoholics and sex addicts looking for a temporary lover. But I ignored the negative aspects of gay social life. I was in "my world" and couldn't see beyond it.

Within a year, however, the joy faded. I had to work harder at attracting other men. My life was consumed with trying to find "Mr. Right. "At times my chest literally ached from the pain of loneliness.

I inched my way toward alcoholism and drug addiction. Within a year of leaving the Lord, I was an emotional wreck. One day I was sitting on the front steps of St. Mary's Cathedral in San Francisco, watching the fog drift by and writing in my journal: "I really miss my Christian friends. I miss the fellowship and the songs of worship... "

I was sick of the bar scene. But then "Mr. Right" walked into the bar one night, and I promptly forgot any ideas of leaving homosexuality. Grant was different than the other men. He wanted a long-term relationship with me; he wasn't just a bar-hopping "disco queen."

Grant and I lived together for the next two years. Our relationship started out great. We had romantic dinners together, went on long drives, and snuggled a lot in front of the TV. But, over the coming months, my desires for love, togetherness, and deep communication resulted in something unexpected. I craved the security of that relationship so badly that I compromised my ideas, aspirations, and even my personality to fit the needs of my lover.

I died as a person for the sake of trying to find true love with Grant. We spent time with his friends, but he didn't like mine. I ate the things Grant liked, and wore his type of clothes. I began cooking and cleaning, taking the feminine "role" in our relationship. We lived in a big mansion with a wet bar that had a view of the street. I used to wait there for Grant to come home from work every evening. It wasn't unusual for me to sit there waiting anxiously, tears in my eyes, as darkness fell and dinner got cold.

In time I drank more alcohol and took more drugs. I became so emotionally unstable that I began to contemplate suicide. My gay relationship was drudgery, work was drudgery, life was drudgery. Everything seemed futile. I had a luxurious apartment, steady job, and committed lover. I had reached the "top" of the gay world, but I was still lonely and unhappy.

"Lord, pull me out if I get into anything beyond me," I had prayed right before I went into homosexuality. In His love God was answering my prayer. In my lonely times while living with Grant, I began pulling out my old Bible and reading His promises.

The Lord gave me an objective view of my sexual relationship with Grant. I felt pretty foolish. We had a shallow, twisted imitation of a heterosexual marriage. "I no longer want you to be an imitator of your father or mother," the Lord told me very clearly "I want you to be an imitator of me."

I started to rebel in the relationship. I divided all chores equally, and started going out on my own. "Are you seeing someone else?" Grant asked me one day. "You're behaving so differently." I said "yes" and told him it was Jesus! He thought I'd gone off the deep end.

Making the decision to leave my lover was not easy. Even though I was convinced that Jesus really lived and a gay lifestyle was wrong, my emotions were still centered on Grant. Facing the prospects of being lonely again and living without sex was a tall order. Even though I still lived with my lover, the Lord began convincing me that He could meet all my emotional needs.

Through a friend at work, I heard about Love In Action in the spring of 1978. When I joined their support group, I found people just like me. They believed in Jesus and were seeking to leave the gay life. They encouraged me, offering friendship and prayer support. After much thought, I decided to leave Grant.

The day arrived for me to move into the Love In Action program. But when I went to call LIA for a ride, all my resolve and inspiration disappeared. At that very moment, an inner courage from Jesus took over my mind and emotions. I made the plunge and called LIA to come and get me . It was April Fool's Day!

In the coming weeks, Jesus became real to me in everyday life. He reminded me of His call on my life: "I want to be your Savior. I want to be your Master. I want to be your Healer. I want to be your Lover."

God answered my prayers in a way that made me feel like He was right next to me. I prayed about finances, and cash came in envelopes and people provided nice dinners. One time I got lost while driving to someone's house in a strange town. "Lord, guide me," I prayed. As I turned through several streets, I landed up right in front of my friend's house!

When I received prayer from others, I felt hands on me, only to discover that no one was touching me. One time I heard fluttering of comforting wings around me during a very stressful part of my return to the Lord . Even though I couldn't see Jesus, I knew that He was real.

Jesus took my lover's place. He took my emotional vulnerability and surrounded me with His presence. He urged me to leave the gay lifestyle and, as I stepped out in faith, He met me.

I've now been out of homosexual activities for over 15 years. Knowing more about Jesus (rather than being "healed") has been central to my Christian walk. I have focused on knowing God, and healing has followed in all areas of my life. Over the years homosexual feelings have faded to a whimper, while heterosexual feelings have emerged more and more. My new desires are a reminder that His presence restores in profound ways. Heterosexuality has never been my goal, however. It's a byproduct of my fascination with the Lord.

Now, when I'm tempted by anxiety or homosexual thoughts, I ask Jesus to hold me and tell me that I'm OK. He affirms me with encouraging words and actions through my friends, often on the very day that I've prayed. My friendships with male friends are particularly strengthening because now I feel like "one of the guys."

As exciting as personal restoration is, nothing is more wonderful or as interesting as Jesus. He's the center of my life now. I'm emotionally dependent on Him. He's as fresh as when I first encountered Him. My favorite scripture is in Hebrews 13:5 & 8, "I will never leave you nor forsake you. . . . Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today, yes and forever." His promises are true. God has been faithful. I'm no longer lonely because God has healed me by the rich fellowship of His presence.


Bill Hernandez was on staff at Love In Action from 1978-1985. Today, he is a pastor at the Vineyard Christian Fellowship of San Francisco, where he directs their Healing Center and ministers to ex-gays through drop-in groups and a "Living Waters" program. Copyright 1993 Bill Hernandez. Distributed by Lore In Action, PO Box 2655, San Rafael, CA 94912. Used with permission of Exodus International.
Looking for a Friend
Looking for a Friend
LOOKING FOR A FRIEND

By Diane Eller-Boyko


My constant search for emotional closeness and affirmation led me into lesbian relationships. I had always been uncomfortable with men. Who needed them anyway?


During my childhood, I constantly dreamed of a close friendship with another girl. Holly, who lived nearby, was friendly when we played at home. But at school, she was part of a clique that excluded me, and I often went home in tears because the other girls had shunned me again.

Finally, in my senior year of high school, I found a friend who made me feel special. Barbra seemed to really care, and my need for her attention became insatiable. Eventually my parents began complaining about our lengthy phone calls.

Then one day some boys from school drove past me and yelled, "There's Diane again, the lesbian, visiting Barbara." Deeply embarrassed, I prayed that no one else had heard the remark. But the seed of a homosexual self-image was planted in my heart. I told Barbra what had happened and admitted that I had some fantasies of our becoming physical. She never told me directly how she felt, though at times she seemed to share my desires.

After college, I began my career at a prominent medical university. Out of the blue, I was propositioned by Laura, the secretary on my nursing unit. That day I stopped struggling and accepted homosexuality as my true identity. I had been raised in a Christian family, taught to believe that a sexual relationship with another woman was forbidden. At first I felt overpowering guilt, but our relationship felt so right.

But Laura fulfilled me for only a short time before she became disinterested. As my loneliness and depression grew, I clung to Laura in the desperate belief that she was my only hope for emotional fulfillment and true friendship. Our relationship lasted off-and-on for another four years. During that period I estranged myself from God and my family. I dated men to hide my true feelings but felt no sexual desire for them. I really am a lesbian, I concluded. I'll just have to make the best of it.

After breaking up with Laura, I wanted to die. I didn't know how to cope with my loss. I turned to my parents, but they were unable to understand my pain. I began seeing a therapist; I wanted desperately to be "fixed" and live a normal life. I tried to surrender to God, but didn't know how. The only thing that seemed to give me any peace was throwing myself into my work.

In 1981, I entered the Masters in Social Work program at San Diego State University. During my internship I initiated a special friendship with a straight woman. Patricia and I became inseparable. My life seemed nearly perfect, but something was still missing.

After two years of friendship, Patricia and I became lovers and my life was made whole. Our relationship seemed perfect, built on a foundation of friendship and emotional intimacy. We had open communication, good friends, and secure jobs. I had finally arrived.

Then came the week of Mother's Day in 1986. My sister Rebecca called to tell me that the doctors had found a lump in my mother's breast. The next week, Mom had a mastectomy. Her prognosis was not good. As I sat by her hospital bed and cried, I thought of all the years of closeness that had been severed by my lesbian lifestyle.

After leaving home for college, I had stayed away because my mother could not relate to my alternate lifestyle. Often she tried to bridge the gap between us by inviting me to lunch, but I usually turned her down. We have nothing to talk about, I thought. So what's the point?

I spent the 12-hour drive home from the hospital reflecting on my life, and realized that I had been away from God and my family for too long. My mom's health crisis, my desire to re-establish a relationship with her, and my own introspection all came together in the vow I made during that long drive: "God, if you will let my mom live so that I can glean spiritual insight and wisdom from her, I will commit my life to you."

As I neared home, I felt the Holy Spirit convicting me that I had to change my lifestyle. Waves of panic, dread, and anger washed over me.

In the following months, I devoted myself to reading the Bible and praying for insights on why homosexuality was unacceptable to God. Mom and I talked on the phone every day. I hungered for her help in understanding God's true character, because the God I knew was neither loving nor unconditional. Why was He asking me to give up the one relationship that had ever brought me real joy?

The Lord was incredibly gentle with me. He guided me to a church body that practiced love, acceptance, and forgiveness. Patricia and I began the painful process of redefining our relationship. At times I felt like I was passing through the valley of the shadow of death, but I had made a promise to God and would not turn hack.

I gained insights into my past. For me, homosexuality was a misguided attempt to satisfy unmet emotional needs. Homosexuality had compensated for the separation I felt from my mom and childhood peers. My choice of an alternate lifestyle was an identity issue, a self-acceptance issue, and a confidence issue.

God impressed upon Patricia the need to follow Him. Before long we were both prayerfully seeking God's will. We began to see that the Lord did not want to destroy our relationship, but that He wanted to be our focus.

Over the next four years, we struggled, cried, and pleaded while holding firm to our commitment to God. Instead of taking away my relationship with Patricia, the Lord brought it into the right perspective and blessed it.

I also experienced growth and healing in the area of my relationships with men. I knew that if I was claiming the truth of my sexuality, then I had to step out in faith and, with the Lord's help, live a heterosexual lifestyle.

A friendship with a male co-worker was an immense aid to my healing. James was also a Christian, and we encouraged each other when our personal crises threatened to overwhelm us. For the first time in my life I was completely open and honest with a man. James and I would devise plots for meeting other Christians, even going so far as to join a Christian dating service.

I discovered a pattern in my life. When I entered a relationship with a man, the first three months were exciting. Then I began to feel trapped and anxious, and I would create some reason for breaking off the relationship.

Recognizing this pattern plunged me into a new spiral of self-doubt. Ideas like "you can't change" and "you're an emotional cripple" fought each other for control of my mind. I talked my discouraging thoughts out with my therapist. He told me the story of Abraham and Sarah and how they laughed when God told them that Sarah would bear a son. "Nothing is impossible with God" became the promise I claimed for my life.

After I had been in the process of recovery for about three years, I met a special man. Michael was fun, handsome, and a dedicated Christian. We began dating but I started to panic. Michael asked questions about my past, and my answers seemed vague and unsatisfactory.

As our relationship progressed, I wanted to be totally honest with him. Three months into our relationship, I took Michael for a walk and shared my past with him. Once the secret was out, I cried in fear and relief.

After that weekend, Michael told me that he appreciated my honesty, and that he was falling in love with me. "Diane," he said, "if we can be honest, we can survive anything." Because of my commitment to Christ, he was not afraid that I would go back to a lesbian lifestyle.

Sharing my past with Michael was only the first hurdle in developing a trusting relationship. My feelings changed constantly. Periods of complete peace would disappear when the fear of being vulnerable made me want to run. Michael constantly encouraged me to talk about my feelings, and then proposed new agreements which strengthened our commitment.

My deep feelings of admiration and respect toward Michael bore little resemblance to the immature "heroine high" desires of my lesbian relationships. Over time, I found a direct correlation between my willingness to risk emotionally and the growing intimacy between us. My love for Michael felt good because it was a mature love governed by choice rather than emotion. When depression or anxiety overtook me, I asked God to fill me with His love.

Things didn't always go smoothly. There were moments when I questioned whether I could commit to a heterosexual relationship. Thoughts of marriage made me panic. Finally, after many months, Michael proposed and I responded with tears. "What should I say?" I asked, and he reminded me that the standard responses to a marriage proposal are "yes," "no," and "I need some time to think about it." I opted for the latter.

Ultimately, I changed my answer to "yes," and wedding arrangements dominated the next six months of my life. My faith and trust in God gave me a peace that saw me through all the obstacles between me and the altar.

Michael and I married on July 8, 1990. My mother's ability to participate in what she and God had wrought was an answer to prayer. Soon after my wedding my mother's cancer took a turn for the worse.

My Hawaiian honeymoon with Michael was the stuff of which romance novels are made. But the following months tested me. Have I made an irrevocable error? I wondered. Has God played a trick on me? Satan was skillfully exploiting those areas where I was vulnerable. But rather than letting my fears paralyze me, I claimed God's promises which affirmed my heterosexuality. I knew that God was greater than my doubts.

Michael was consistently understanding and supportive, an immense prayer partner and husband. His deep concern for my happiness was revealed by his willingness to listen and to give me the time I needed to work things out with God. He never became discouraged for himself nor did he demand that I meet his needs during my time of transition. During the time we have been married, Michael and I have continued to grow together. The depth to which I love him is a testimony to the healing power of Christ.

My mother loved Michael very much. His wry sense of humor brought her a great deal of joy toward the end of her long battle with cancer. I am so thankful that God allowed me to tap into her boundless store of spiritual insight and wisdom before her death on October 7, 1991.

As I look back on my life, I give praise to God for bringing healing out of brokenness. He has proven to be a loving Father. Through His faithfulness, I've been brought into a fulfilling relationship with Michael, my husband, companion, and best friend. 


Diane Eller-Boyko is a licensed clinical social worker with a private practice in Redlands, California. She is also a board member of "Alternatives," an ex-gay ministry in San Diego. Copyright c1992 by Diane Eller-Boyko. Distributed by Love In Action, PO Box 2655, San Rafael, CA 94912. Used with permission of Exodus International.
Out of Prison
Out of Prison
OUT OF PRISON

By Bob Van Domelen


"I hope that your prison sentence will be a warning to others," the judge told me. "Society needs protection from people like you."


The various Wisconsin prison cells I occupied for almost three years were similar: a simple bunk, a small table or desk, and a window with bars that opened no more than a few inches. Other inmates nearby had committed murder, rape, armed robbery, and other crimes. My sentence: first and second degree sexual assault involving young men.

As a young child I loved to be held. One evening when I was about six years old, I climbed on my father's lap to kiss him goodnight.

My mother interrupted me. "Don't you think you're getting a little old for that?" she asked. I hesitated, then climbed down and offered only a verbal "Good night, Daddy." I never again held or kissed my father.

Several years later, my two older brothers (aged 11 and 13) initiated sexual activity with me. I was scared at first but came to enjoy those times of intimacy. In the years that followed, I found other boys my age or slightly younger who responded to my encouragement for physical intimacy. Fear of discovery limited the number of physical encounters to once or twice a month. For a brief moment, my needs for love and touch were answered.

When I was 16, my dad died of complications due to diabetes. I tried to cry hut tears came with difficulty, as though something in me had shut down.

Sporadic encounters with girls while in high school involved kissing and some rather unsuccessful hand explorations. Things were more serious in college as I lost my heterosexual virginity in an effort to prove to myself that I was normal. While somewhat uneasy about relating to the opposite sex, I had no problem finding physical pleasure with women. But the most meaningful relationships to me occurred with same-sex peers.

As a college freshman, I had been propositioned by an older man in a public restroom and soon began to frequent such places. For awhile I clung to the idea that such behavior was just experimentation, things that guys sometimes did. But as people around me discussed homosexuality, I realized they were describing the kinds of activities that I was doing.

After I graduated from college, something happened that brought great despair. One Sunday afternoon, I stood in the shower room of a local school after a swim in the pool. There was one other person in that shower room, a young man who seemed to watch every move I made. If I touched my leg, he touched his. When I smiled, so did he. I suggested that he might like to come to my apartment where we would be less likely to be interrupted, and he agreed.

Later, after having sex, I asked him, "Why did you let me do this to you?" I'll never forget his answer: "Today is my fifteenth birthday. I wanted to find out what it was like to love a man."

I panicked. I'm a teacher and I just assaulted this kid! I thought. Please, God, don't let me get caught and it'll never happen again. But it did happen again.

Most of my students called me "Dad" and shared their hurts and hopes with me. Some of the young men were outwardly mature, but hidden behind the facade was a vulnerable child looking for love and tenderness. A factor which often made them susceptible was the ashen of their own father. Before the end of any school year, I would be sexually involved with at least one male student.

I had met my wife, Cathie, during my first weeks as a teacher. A year after graduation from college, I had married with the hope that a heterosexual relationship might correct my own distorted life. My heart thought it understood love, but it was a confused and undeveloped boy and not a man who entered the marriage.

There were many nights when I lay awake and prayed that God would release me from the darkness in my life. Tears flowed at the thought of losing my wife and family. My prayer always ended, "Please don't let me get caught."

In April 1985, a student from 14 years previous returned to town for the sole purpose of confronting me. When he asked how many other young men I had sexually abused, I told him "none" and said that ours was a special relationship. But he sensed that I was not telling the truth, and went to the police.

Within days I was interrogated and arrested. I cannot remember what the police asked during the four hours of questioning, but when I was left alone, I heard a voice inside. "This is the answer to your prayers."

"No, it isn't," I shot back. "I wanted freedom without getting caught."

"But this is the answer to your prayers" was all I heard in response.

The next morning I was allowed freedom on bail and brought home by my wife. The media aired information about my arrest. I was so ashamed that I thought of committing suicide, but taking my life seemed too much of a contradiction to the words I had heard. How could suicide be the answer to my prayers?

Just over one year passed from the day of my arrest to my sentencing date. In that time, God's healing love became evident as individuals and then a prayer community taught me how to seek His presence. At first I sought their God, their experiences. Eventually I learned to pursue my own personal relationship with God. I desperately needed to believe that Bob Van Domelen was worth saving and that my past sins did not necessarily dictate my future.

The hardest part of my final court appearance was having to listen to the court clerk, a complete stranger, read the detailed charges against me. A whole year had passed, a year free from pornography and behavior shrouded in dark secrecy. I wanted to scream, "I'm not the same person you are reading about!"

The judge asked me if I wanted to add anything on my own behalf. I gave a sincere apology to all those I had harmed. Then the judge sentenced me to five years prison and ten years subsequent probation. "I hope that your sentence will be a warning to others," he added. "Society needs protection from people like you."

Word spreads quickly among men in confinement, and handmade signs began appearing on my bed frame announcing that I was a "baby raper." Lewd and suggestive remarks were included, along with comments that I was not fit to live. I'd flush these efforts down the toilet. The other men merely laughed and started all over. I rarely slept for more than 15-20 minutes at a time.

At first only my wife was allowed to visit me. Then Cathie managed to get the judge's permission for family visits to occur in another part of the building. I arrived with shackles on my hands and feet, only capable of small steps, between two armed guards. Of all my prison memories, the afternoon of that first visit with my family is the most painful to recall.

While in prison, I spent hours each day reading the Bible. No matter where I was sent within Wisconsin's prison system, I attended as many Bible studies as allowed.

One Tuesday morning in 1988, I found myself focusing on a single verse - Nehemiah 2:17. That evening at Bible study, the guest speaker was Bill Windel, director of a local ex-gay outreach called Broken Yoke Ministries.

Bill gave his testimony and talked about his ministry. "Our Tuesday evening group is called the Nehemiah Fellowship," he said, "mostly because we see the truth behind the verse in chapter two, verse 17." I was amazed - that was the exact verse I'd been meditating on!

After the meeting, I talked to Bill and he gave me permission to call him collect whenever I felt a need. He always responded to my calls with hope, encouragement, and prayers. He was the first former homosexual I'd ever met, and his face literally glowed whenever he spoke of Jesus. Once out of prison, I drove to Madison each week to attend his group meetings. In September 1990, I began a Broken Yoke support group in the Milwaukee area. Bill's witness of love gave me the courage to believe that sharing my own testimony could make a difference for others.

My healing process is grounded in the knowledge that God loves me. I surrender my life to Him on a daily basis. As I've grown spiritually, I have become more aware of my choices, rather than simply succumbing to compulsive, addictive behavior.

I look at young men far differently than years ago. I no longer feed off their vulnerability or see in them some aspect of completion needed within myself. Writing in a private journal shows me how my thinking and behavior are changing.

Some things, like pornography, no longer have any attraction for me. But I am vulnerable in other areas. I avoid adult bookstores. I say a quick prayer before entering public restrooms. I cannot linger in locker rooms where young men might be changing.

I know these temptations offer only empty promises of fulfillment. I have a freedom now that I don't want to lose, a freedom built both on the memories of what God has done for me, as well as His promises for what lies ahead.

I see a therapist because I need an objective ear to help me sort out what I am feeling, a parole officer who is not afraid to ask direct questions, and friends with whom I am accountable. Most important, a portion of each day is set aside for studying God's Holy Word.

I spoke at a church recently and felt God encouraging me to confess my past sins against young men. Afterward a woman approached me and opened her arms in what was clearly an invitation for a hug. I stepped forward and was mere inches from making contact when she said, "I'm Sue, Oscar's mother." With a shock, I realized that I had been sexually involved with her son.

I accepted the hug with a plea for forgiveness. She told me that Oscar was now a minister in a large city. "Up until a few months ago, I hated you," she said. "One day I was sharing some of my hurt with my pastor's wife and she mentioned Broken Yoke." When Sue told her son about me, he responded, "I have been praying for that man ever since he was my teacher." I have written Oscar and asked for his forgiveness.

Today I share where I have been because the majority of people, even many Christians, say that there is no hope for one such as myself. But I know they are wrong. As Christ occupies more and more of this man named Bob, I am being changed into the man of God He created me to be. My prison doors have opened, and now I'm walking free.


Bob Van Domelen is director of Broken Yoke Ministries in Pewaukee, Wisconsin. He and his wife, Cathie, have three children. Copyright 1992 by Robert J. Van Domelen. Distributed by Love In Action, PO Box 2655, San Rafael, CA 94912; 415/454-0960. Used with permission of Exodus International.
When Someone You Love is Gay
When Someone You Love is Gay
WHEN SOMEONE YOU LOVE IS GAY

By Sy Rogers


CASE 1:

Susan and Carol had been friends for years. Because of their close relationship, it was no secret that Carol and her husband were having marital problems. One day, while having lunch together, Carol admitted she had something to confess something important. Susan sensed the apprehension in Carol's voice: "A divorce, Susan thought, she's getting a divorce!"

Taking a deep breath, Carol began: "It's so scary for me to tell you this but I have to. I can't keep on pretending. I just don't want it to affect our friendship, you're like a sister to me!"

Susan reached across the table, taking Carol's hand. "What is it, Carol - is it your marriage?  Whatever it is, you can tell me ..."

Tears began to well up in Carol's eyes. "Susan, it's not the marriage - that would make this easier I think.  It's me.  I ... I'm gay.  I'm a lesbian."

CASE 2:

As she passed her son's room, she noticed the white piece of paper taped to the middle of the door.  A note from Mark.  She knew something was wrong.  She took the note into the kitchen, sat down and began to read:

"Dear Mom and Dad,

Since you both know about me being gay, I have decided it would be best for all of us if I moved out.  I know how you feel, and I don't want to make things worse.  I'll be staying with some friends for a while.  I guess this means putting college on hold too, but please try not to worry about me.  I'll make it.  I'm really sorry I've let you down.  I'm sorry for the big fight the other night.  I didn't want you to find out that way, but I guess it's just as well you know.  Most of all, I'm sorry you don't understand about me.  I'll be in touch - Love, Mark"

She laid the note aside.  "Is this really happening," she thought.  "It seems so strange, only a few days ago everything was normal.  Then I had to be the one to find his 'dirty' magazines ... and those letters! I had to be the one to confront him, and push him into telling me the truth.  Why did I ever tell his father?  And now, she asked herself, will anything ever be normal for us again?"

UNPREPARED ...

An event most people are totally unprepared for is the discovery that someone close to them is gay.  Whether the confession of gayness comes from a son or daughter, husband, wife or close friend, the reaction is often the same: "What do I say to them now?", "How can I help?", and sometimes, "Could I be partly to blame for this situation?"

The impact of learning someone close to you is gay can be as great as if that person had died.  Suddenly, your expectations and hopes for his future may never be realized.  Often, a variety of emotions common to the grieving process surface.  First comes the shock, denial and disbelief, followed by a rush of shame, anger and tears.  Depression, even physical symptoms of distress may result.  Almost always there are tremendous feelings of guilt ("Where did I go wrong?"), especially true with parents and the spouses of gays.  Anger and resentment may grow into bitterness ("How could you do this to me!"), if un-forgiveness is harbored.  The grieving process will pass in its intensity, especially as you yield your hurt and struggle to God, trusting Him to help.

The purpose of this tract is to help the friends and families of gays deal with their own reactions to homosexuality, and to help them respond to homosexuals in a positive, Christian way.

THERE IS HOPE ...

First, there is HOPE for YOU!  Apart from the need of your gay loved one, God desires to help you deal with this situation.  God does not want to see you overcome with frustration and despair.  We have the promises of God.  Apply them to your situation.  God tells us that as we humble ourselves and seek to obey Him, regardless of what we face, He will supply us with the power to do what is right.  He promises to give us wisdom if we ask.  He promises to comfort and strengthen us in time of need. He promises that His grace will keep us from being overwhelmed by our circumstances.  His grace also supplies us with the faith we need to trust our loved one into His capable care.  He can give us the patience to wait on Him to work in his life. He can supply us with the ability to forgive and demonstrate love toward those who have hurt and shamed us.  God can teach us to see circumstances from HIS perspective and then we see that all things ARE possible with God. "ALL things" includes freedom from homosexuality!  Then we see that there IS hope!

This is the second point: Not only is there hope for you, there IS hope for the homosexual. There lS a way out of homosexuality for those who want it!  Although homosexual behavior is consistently condemned throughout Scripture as is all sin, there is also Biblical record of people being set free from homosexuality (1 Corinthians 6:9-11). Remember, where God requires us to change to obey His standards, He has the power to make that change possible in our lives.  This is true for the homosexual, just as it is true for the prostitute, the addict and all who need Jesus!

Though your friend or loved one is involved in homosexuality that doesn't mean he always will be.  Many men and women around the world have been (and are being) set free from homosexuality.  God doesn't play favorites.  Your loved one can be free too - but it may not happen overnight.  God's Spirit must be the One to draw him.  Therefore, your only hope is in the power of an unlimited God!

STEPS YOU CAN TAKE:

1. GET A HOLD OF YOUR EMOTIONS.  After the bomb has been dropped in your lap, it may be difficult to gain control of your emotional reaction (especially true in a confrontation).  While emotional reactions are part of being human, try not to let your feelings get out of control.  In your anger sin not.  Try to limit your immediate reaction to lessen the strain on your relationship with the gay person.  If you've already had a 'blow up,' you can always work toward reconciliation.

2. FORGIVE.  Release your anger, hurt and shame through forgiveness.  This prevents bitterness from setting in and speeds healing to you and your relationship with the gay person.  In addition to forgiving those who have hurt you, ask God to forgive you for anything in your past that may have contributed to this situation.  With God's forgiveness, you need not remain a prisoner to GUILT and condemnation.  Once you've received His forgiveness for any failure on your part, mark the date on your calendar.  Remind yourself and the devil that on that date you know God forgave you for your past mistakes.

3. GET GOD'S PERSPECTIVE.  Get your attitude in line with God's Word. Having a gay loved one is not the end of the world.  Homosexuality is sin. It is not the worst sin. It is not 'incurable.'  God doesn't hate homosexuals either.  As a matter of fact, He loves them and wants to redeem them.  He sees their need for love, acceptance and identity, and longs to meet these needs.  Jesus did not condemn the prostitute, traitor, adulteress, thief or murderer.  Instead He offered them another chance at life.  Jesus showed them a way to become pleasing to God. He offers this same new life to the homosexual.  As mentioned earlier, 'all things' are possible with God, including freedom from homosexuality.  There is Biblical record of homosexuals being changed by God's power.  Share this hope with your gay friend or laved one.

4. KEEP LINES OF COMMUNICATION OPEN.  Use good judgment in sharing with the gay person.  Our words can either build up or tear down. Don't make every visit or conservation a sermon on sin.  Avoid arguing, be a listener.  The gay person needs to know that he can at least talk to you, especially when he is hurting.  Pray for wisdom in communicating God's standard.  Encourage the gay person to see Jesus in a positive light, as a person who loves, cares and wants to help.

5. DEMONSTRATE LOVE AND ACCEPTANCE.  Sometimes our love must be firm. The Christian cannot compromise God's standards or condone sin.  However, it is vital that the gay friend or loved one understand that your disapproval of his sinful behavior is NOT a rejection of him.  Maintaining God's standards often puts us in the place of drawing the line on a person because of sin.  This can be painful and necessary in some instances.  But we can still demonstrate love and concern for the gay person in many practical ways.  Be willing to talk and listen. Don't be afraid to hug or touch.  Don't exclude the gay person from your life and activities.  The gay person may resent your stand on sin, and may isolate or withdraw himself from you.  Yet you need not be the one to turn your back on him.  You may be an important link between that individual and God, if not now, perhaps later.  So guard your witness.  Maintain God's standards, but love the gay person too.

6. LET GO.  One of the most difficult of all these steps, is having to trust your loved one into the care of God.  Let him go.  You can't save that person.  You can't stop him from pursuing the gay life.  You're not in control, God is!  You must learn to trust God to draw your loved one by His Spirit.  Trust Him to protect your loved one.  God's desire is to set him free from sin and deception.  Remember, He loves the one you love even more than you!

7. PRAY, FAST AND WAIT.  You can pray! You can fast!  Prayer combined with fasting is a powerful spiritual weapon.  Like it or not, it's going to take much prayer and fasting, but for the sake of a friend or loved one, isn't the sacrifice worth it?  Jesus knew prayer and fasting got results. He practiced it, as did His disciples.  Throughout the Bible, when men and women faced difficult circumstances, they prayed and fasted.  God often responded in miraculous ways.  Read and study ISAIAH chapter 58, the chapter on the purpose and power of fasting.

Though God does answer our prayers, He rarely answers them when or how we want.  We want to see our loved one free now!  But God's timing is perfect.  His methods are perfect.  So in addition to everything else, wait on Him to work in the life of your loved one.  Use the waiting period as an opportunity to strengthen your faith and trust in the Lord.  He hears you.  He WILL help you!

FINALLY . . .

IF YOU are having a difficult time dealing with any person because of his homosexuality, then you need to take a look at your attitude - and get it right.  Being squeamish about homosexuality is one thing.  But having a reaction of revulsion, hostility or violence toward the gay person is sin. It is called 'Homophobia,' an irrational fear or hostility toward homosexuals.  Homophobia is a defensive reaction, often masking insecurity or fears about one's own sexual identity. Needless to say, Homophobia hinders the effectiveness of your witness.  Fortunately, the Lord can set you free from this sinful attitude, and deliver you from any fears or insecurities too!

IF YOU suspect that a loved one is involved in homosexuality (or any other form of immorality), try not to panic or lose your temper.  Rather, in firm love and honesty, confront the person with what you suspect.  Don't accuse!!  Be prepared for lies and covering up, defiant admission that it's all true, or a brokenhearted confession of guilt.  Also remember, the person may truly by innocent of any wrong doing.  When the situation reaches this point, or is headed in this direction, seek Christ centered counseling for yourself, and if possible, for your loved one.  Remember to see Christ as your hope, knowing "That all things work together for good to them that love God, to them that are called according to His purpose" - Romans 8:28.

SCRIPTURE:

HOMOSEXUAL BEHAVIOR: Leviticus 18:22, 20:13, Romans 1:20-32, 1st Corinthians 6:9-11, 1st Timothy 1:9-10.

SEXUAL IMMORALITY: 1 Corinthians 6:13-20, Romans 6:12-13, Galatians 5:19-21, Colossians 3:5-6, 1st Thessalonians 4:3-8.

ENCOURAGING SCRIPTURES: Romans 7:14-24, 8:1-3, 1 Corinthians 6:9-11, 2nd Corinthians 5:17, Ephesians 2:1-10, Hebrews 12:5-17, 2nd Peter 1:3-11, 1st John 1:9, 2nd Timothy 4:18 and Jude 17-25.


Portions of this article contain information made available through EXODUS INTERNATIONAL and its affiliates.  COPYRIGHT 1984. Reprinted with permission from ELEUTH EROS 1298 Minnesota Ave., Suite D - Winter Park, FL 32789
My Friend is Struggling...
My Friend is Struggling...
MY FRIEND IS STRUGGLING WITH HOMOSEXUALITY: HOW DO I RELATE?


For the most part, relating to a friend with homosexual problems is the same as relating to any friend!  But there are some special ways a person from a non-gay background can minister to a close friend who struggles with gayness.  Through correspondence, counseling and experience, we've noted that there are some differences in our responses depending on whether the friend is of the same or the opposite sex.  Here are some things to be aware of in four specific situations:


If you are the FEMALE friend of a GUY struggling with gayness:

Special Opportunities ...

You can be someone he can share with openly.  Many former gays say their first attempt at sharing about their homosexual struggles happened with female friends.

You can offer affirmation and encouragement.  You can pray for your friend and be a godly influence in his life, sharing Christ and
presenting the hope of change.

You can direct him to ministries or counselors skilled in helping people come out of homosexuality.

Special Cautions ...

Be careful of falling in love with your friend and "waiting" for God to change him.  Many ex-gays do marry, but most have left their sin and received much of their healing before they become involved with the woman they marry.

Try not to "mother" your friend and take care of him out of pity.  You might be cushioning him from the effects of his sin.

Try to maintain other healthy, committed friendships with other Christians, both men and women.  You need the balance in perspective!


If you are the FEMALE friend of a WOMAN struggling with gayness:

Special Opportunities ...

You can be a channel of God's healing to your friend through your love and acceptance.  You can provide and example of what a godly, non-sexual friendship is like.

You can help your friend break old patterns by; not giving in to manipulation (self-pity, subtle emotional demands, etc.), remaining constant and faithful and holding her accountable for her end of the relationship, developing mutuality rather than dependency.

Special Cautions ...

Don't assume you won't be tempted sexually or emotionally even if you've never had homosexual temptations before. This is especially true if you are emotionally needy or have a "need to be needed."

Watch out for jealousy and possessiveness.  Maintain other close friendships, too.

Realize you are one of many people God wants to use in your friend's life to minister to her. Don't play God!


If you are the MALE Friend of a GUY struggling with gayness:

Special Opportunities ...

You can help build confidence in your friend's life through your acceptance of him as another man.

You can help dispel his homosexual identity by being honest about your own life, sharing your weaknesses and fears as well as strengths. This helps him overcome the thinking, "I'm like this because I'm gay"

You can offer to be prayer partners, providing mutual support and encouragement in times of stress and temptation.

You can be challenged to examine your own commitment to Christ in the area of your sexuality. If you've surrendered this area to Christ and are living in freedom from sexual sin, you'll be able to minister to your friend.

Special Cautions ...

Try not to focus on your friend's homosexual problems. The root problems behind gayness (envy, loneliness, fears of 'not being masculine') are things you may have struggled with.  Build on the similarities in your lives, not the differences.

Don't allow your friend to become too dependent on you or put you on a pedestal.  This might be evident through excessive emotional or time demands, continual praise of you while putting himself down.  If this happens, confront him gently.

Don't put off confronting your friend for fear of "blowing him away." We all need tough love at times.  Your friend can take it.

Don't pressure your friend to date girls or brag about your heterosexual interests.  If your attitudes toward the opposite sex are healthy and appreciative, that will speak for itself.


If you are the MALE friend of a WOMAN struggling with gayness:

Special opportunities ...

You can bring healing to your friend's life by being a friend and brother to her, relating to her as a woman as well as a person.

You can help each other grow by having fun together, encouraging each other in your faith in Christ.

You can help her overcome fears and wrong images of men by respecting her and allowing her to get to know you without putting romantic or sexual expectations on the friendship.

Special Cautions ...

Don't be afraid to share your weaknesses and struggles with her.  Avoid presenting a "macho" attitude.

Don't allow yourself to be dominated or controlled by the friendship. Express yourself!

Though she may have many of the same interests and ideas you do, avoid treating her totally as a "buddy." Remind her from time to time that you are aware of her female gender.  Express appreciation of her in gentle, non-pressure ways.


Provide by LOVE IN ACTION, P.O. BOX 2655, San Rafael, CA 94912. Used with permission of Exodus International. CrossOver, P. 0. Box 23744, Lexington, KY 40523-3744 - (606) 277-4941
Reaching Across the Great Divide
Reaching Across the Great Divide
REACHING ACROSS THE GREAT DIVIDE 
How to help a homosexual friend or relative 

By Bob Davies


When Dianne met Rob at her church youth group, she was immediately attracted to his shy smile and sincere love for Christ. Over the next year, Dianne and Rob developed a close friendship. They shared similar interests and enjoyed going out together to dinner and Christian concerts.

Then came a shock. One Friday night, Rob confided in Dianne about a serious struggle" in his life. Looking down at his hands, Rob dropped his bombshell.

"My problem is . . . well, I'm struggling with homosexuality."

Dianne felt her face flush. The silence hung heavy between them. What do I say now? she wondered. And how could this happen to a Christian man?

A Shocking Discovery There are few confessions as shocking as the revelation that a friend or family member is dealing with homosexuality.  Parents are especially traumatized. "Where did we go wrong?" they wonder. Shock can quickly give way to fear. Families are terrified that others in their church will find out. Some families may react by withdrawing from friends and even dropping out of church altogether.

During my past 14 years of involvement in redemptive ministry to homosexuals, I have talked to hundreds of family members and friends. Here are some principles I've discovered and shared.

� Build a bridge. In the case of gay neighbors and co-workers, we must first "earn the right" to speak about this intimate and sensitive part of their lives. We do that by building trust.

When Tim heard from other neighbors that the two women living in an upstairs apartment were lesbians, he ached for their salvation. I'd love to share Christ with them, he thought. But where do I even start?

Reaching the homosexual acquaintance for Christ begins with bridging the gap between you and him or her. You can start by doing the same things that build friendships between other neighbors: sharing recipes across the back fence, exchanging tips for a better garden, sharing a game of tennis or racquetball. Other icebreakers with neighbors include exchanging garden tools, borrowing a wrench to fix the kitchen sink, or asking for advice on painting the front door. Inexpensive gifts are another bridge builder, like homegrown vegetables in the summer or a plate of cookies at Christmas. A friendly attitude can be communicated anytime by a warm smile and cheery greeting.

� Show unconditional acceptance. People dealing with homosexuality have often struggled with feelings of self-hatred and rejection for years. It's vital to show acceptance toward them as people, even though we don't approve of their sexual behavior. Unfortunately, some Christians can only quote Scriptures that condemn homosexuality without also expressing love and concern for the individual. Some Christians worry that, by showing acceptance to the individual, they will mistakenly display approval for a sinful life-style. We need to clearly state. "I don't approve of your behavior, but I care about you and nothing will ever change that." Then we need to back up our words with continued friendship and thoughtful concern.

This is the essence of the gospel: God loved us before we accepted him. While we were still sinners, Christ died for us" (Romans 5:8). We need to share God's love with those still in bondage to sinful habits.

� Give hope for change. God's Word is plain that homosexual behavior is sin (Romans 1:26,27). Just like any other sin however, it can be forgiven and its effects can be overcome.

This is good news. Most gays and lesbians know the Bible condemns their behavior, few have heard that God can change their sexuality.

Scientists debate the exact causes of homosexuality. Even if inborn factors are involved, each individual still chooses whether or not to act out those feelings. most important, there is biblical proof that homosexuals can change. In 1 Corinthians 6:9 and 10, the apostle Paul warns that various sinful life-styles, including homosexual behavior, will prevent individuals from entering God's kingdom. Then he adds: "And that is what some of you were" (v. 11).

Paul knew Christians in Corinth who had been involved in homosexuality. But they had been "washed" and declared righteous when they repented of their sexual sin. This hope for change is the most important message you can give to a homosexual friend or neighbor.

Recently I spoke with a man who left the gay life-style more than a year ago. At one time, he was a leader in the Metropolitan Community Church, a "denomination" made up largely of homosexuals. I love Jesus with all my heart," he told me. "But in that church, nobody ever told me I had a choice to change."

� Pray faithfully. Sometimes we're puzzled about how to pray for the homosexual. Remember that sin has negative consequences that may eventually motivate a person to seek change. God promises that "a man reaps what he sows" (Galatians 6:7).

Homosexuality is a life-style that promises a lot but delivers very little. For example, most gay relationships are short-lived, leaving behind loneliness, depression, and guilt. The gay life-style is geared to youth, and as these men and women approach middle age they experience increasing rejection. Keep praying that God will open your relative or friend's eyes to the truth about this life-style.

Jeff, a married man with two children, was once deeply involved in the gay life-style. He divorced his wife and lived with another man for more than five years. Still, his family never stopped praying for his deliverance.

When Jeff eventually became a Christian, he felt convicted about his homosexual activities and soon abandoned them. After receiving intense counseling for his homosexuality, he became friends with a woman in his church. Seven years ago, they were married. "Prayer is the only explanation for where I am today," he says firmly.

Christians can be an effective encouragement, even when they don't know much about homosexuality. Dianne is a good example. Despite her initial shock to Rob's confession, she reacted with love and acceptance. Dianne encouraged Rob to seek counseling. Although they stopped dating, Rob got the help he needed to resolve his homosexuality. Today, he is happily married and involved in full-time Christian ministry.

Friends can powerfully impact the life of someone struggling with homosexual sin. I know, because the story of "Rob" is actually mine. "Dianne" was my friend. I'll always be grateful for her support in helping me find freedom from homosexuality. 


Bob Davies is executive director of Exodus International, a worldwide network of ministries to men and women overcoming homosexuality through the power of Christ.  Be sure to read this month's PEOPLE PROFILE column which features an interview with Mr. Davies.

From THE LOOKOUT, July 1993. Reprinted with permission of Exodus International.
Common Questions - Straight Answers
Common Questions - Straight Answers
The following is reprinted with permission from the Winter 1993/1994 issue of THE STANDARD, a publication of Exodus International - North America.


COMMON QUESTIONS- STRAIGHT ANSWERS


Can a person be gay and still be a Christian?

That depends on your definitions. Yes, a man or woman certainly might struggle with homosexual temptations and even behavior, yet truly be a Christian. However, if someone pursues homosexual involvement and refuses to acknowledge this as sin, it's valid to humbly question whether their commitment to Christ is genuine.

Some professing Christians tout a "pro-gay theology" which alleges that Scripture has been mis-translated and misinterpreted when it comes to the issue of homosexuality. All prohibitions against homosexual behavior are explained away. Sometimes, same sex friendships between Bible characters (Jonathan and David; Ruth and Naomi) are said to be model homosexual relationships.

This deceptive, seductive, self justifying theology constitutes Scripture twisting (see 2 Cor 4:2).


What's your "success rate" in turning gays straight?

What you are really asking is whether there is realistic hope for change for men and women who do not want their sexual orientation to be homosexual. And the answer to that is yes!

In 1 Corinthians 6:9-11, Paul gives a list of all kinds of sinners that will not inherit the kingdom of God, including those that practice homosexuality. But he goes on to say, "and that is what some of you were. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God." Some Corinthian Christians had formerly been homosexuals, but now were counted among the saints. Now, that's good news indeed!

No one is saying that change is easy. It requires strong motivation, hard work, and perseverance. But thousands of former homosexuals have found a large degree of change, attaining abstinence from homosexual behaviors, lessening of homosexual temptations, strengthening their sense of masculine or feminine identity, correcting distorted styles of relating with members of the same and opposite gender.

Some former homosexuals marry; some don't. Marriage is not the measuring stick � spiritual growth and obedience are.

On the statistical side, Christian psychologist Dr. Stanton Jones reports, "Every study ever performed on conversion from homosexual to heterosexual orientation has produced some successes." He notes that the "success rates" of studies saying change is possible "have ranged between 33% and 50-60%."


How does a homosexual person change?

We believe freedom from homosexuality is increasingly experienced as men and women mature through ongoing submission to the lordship of Christ and church involvement. This transformation enables him or her to shed the old, sinful identity and in its place learn new ways of relating to self and others. Working through underlying relational and abuse problems is a significant component in this process.

Making use of individual and personal Bible study, pastoral counseling, support groups, and a same-sex discipleship group are beneficial.


Is 10% of the population really gay?

The 10% figure began as a misinterpretation of studies done in the 1940s by sexologist/entomologist (student of insects) Alfred Kinsey and his associates.

Scholars like Dr. Judith Reisman and Edward Eichel have long challenged Kinsey's research methodology as flawed (he used an unspecified percentage of college student volunteers and convicts with sex offenses) and his statistics as therefore faulty. A series of recent studies from 1989 through 1993 all show similar figures for the real proportion of exclusively homosexual individuals in America: about 1% to 2%.


If I have anything to do with a gay person socially, aren't I condoning his or her lifestyle? 

It is interesting that few if any people seem to ask this question about socializing with gossips, liars, people from non-Christian religious backgrounds, etc. The Bible repeatedly tells us God is no respecter of persons. That means He shows neither favoritism for nor prejudice against, anyone. 

Wouldn't it be better for us to view someone gay as just another sinner, in need of the same things that we all need the good news of redemption from our sins by Jesus Christ's work on the cross?

If you know the truth and do not show favoritism or prejudice, interacting with someone gay shouldn't shake you or your faith, whether in social or work settings.


If AIDS is God's judgment against homosexuals, doesn't befriending them interfere with His will?

This is really two questions.

First, is AIDS God's judgment against homosexuals? This important question requires a long answer to be truly satisfying. So, an excellent, challenging book that addresses this issue in depth is The AIDS Epidemic: Balancing Compassion and Justice by Drs. Glenn Wood and John Dietrich (Multnomah Press, 1990).

In brief, AIDS is better seen as a reaping of consequences than as God's wrath on a specific group. Ultimately, all death is a result of sin, whether sin inherited from Adam, or personal sin. Certain behaviors (such as sexual intercourse and sharing intravenous drug equipment) carry the risk of infection with HIV. Some engaging in these activities do not contract HIV. Yet others who do not engage in these activities such as hemophiliacs and infants born to mothers with HIV sometimes do contract HIV. You simply cannot find Scripture to support HIV/ AIDS being God's specific judgment on homosexuals.

Second, is it interfering? Even if God levies a specific judgment, such as when He decided to destroy Ninevah, the Lord always seems to provide someone (like Jonah) to bring a message of hope through repentance. Or like Noah to all those alive at his time. In the first case, the people of the city were saved; in the second, none outside Noah's immediate family.

Whatever you decide about whether AIDS is God's judgment, couldn't you be that messenger of good news? Some may reject it, but others will not. Many men and women with AIDS have turned to Jesus Christ as their Savior in the last years, months, or hours of life. As the Scriptures say: "Be merciful to those who doubt; snatch others from the fire and save them; to others show mercy, mixed with fear, hating even the clothing stained by corrupted flesh" (Jude 22-23).


I'm better suited to Christian political activism than to help someone gay. Shouldn't I focus on my strength and leave ministry to groups like Exodus?

God calls upon His people to be both salt and light in the world: salt, to preserve that which otherwise would turn putrid; light, to reach out warmly with the truth of the gospel.

The choice for the Church is not either/or - it is both/and. Individuals may focus more on socialpolitical involvement or in personal ministry, based on their giftings and burdens. But the Church as a whole must do both.

So, it's okay to be politically active - just be careful not to come across with an angry, ungodly attitude. This often alienates gay people, and makes ministry to them difficult, if not impossible. Remember that God loves people bound by homosexuality. He wants them as daughters and sons in Christ. Never allow yourself or your communication style to become a stumbling block.


What can I do to make a gay person change?

Of course, you cannot make anyone change. They must be motivated for themselves to want to change. But you definitely can play a very important part in assisting Christians to overcome homosexuality or lesbianism.

First, you can pray for an unsaved homosexual person and share the gospel with him or her.

If you are relating with Christians struggling with this issue, you can pray for them, too.

Pray God will give them the courage and perseverance to achieve sexual abstinence. Sexual activity usually covers deep wounds. Once activity stops, the "pain-killer" of sex wears off and underlying emotional pain can surface. Be there to listen and support them in this process.

Pray God will help them seek and find biblical resolution to underlying issues that led to a homosexual orientation. Learn what you can about these problems, and find someone with expertise that can counsel your friend.

Pray the Lord will help them reconnect with His original design and purpose for them as a man or woman.

If you are the same gender as your friend, you can play a tremendous part in his or her healing just by being a role-model of what a godly man or godly woman is like. That means being vulnerable about your own weaknesses, aggressively pursuing personal maturity, and above all, seeking to grow in your relationship with Jesus Christ.

Don't discount your ability to help someone leave homosexuality and enter into all that God plans for their lives. Be a friend: encourage, confront, listen, share. Go side-by-side with them through the challenging adventure ahead.


1993 Brad Sargent & Exodus International

Studies
New Testament Study
New Testament Study
With this column, we begin a special series from the New Testament. These articles will focus on the "Letters to the Seven Churches" found in the book of Revelation. During this series, the column will be called "New Testament Studies." Future studies after this series will include Psalms and books from both the Old and New Testaments.


THE LETTER TO EPHESUS
Revelation 2:1-7

By Pastor Geoffrey Kragen


Introduction to the Seven Letters

As I study the word, I often refer to commentaries to see how others understand specific passages. As a result, I frequently see the misuse of scripture, supporting views inconsistent with God's intent. But there is another major problem I see in some of these books. And unfortunately, this problem exists in many sound churches, where only a few sections of the Bible are taught.

In the most extreme situations certain churches act as if the Bible starts with the book of Matthew. While they may occasionally use the psalms, and apply the book of proverbs to teach wives and children how to behave, the rest of the Old Testament might as well not exist.

Other groups don't even teach sections of the New Testament. They act as if only the Gospels and Acts exist. Others may teach from the epistles, but ignore Romans or Hebrews.

God gave us the entire Bible. Without a knowledge of the entire book it is impossible to understand Him as fully as He chooses to reveal Himself to us. The Bible is made up of sixty-six books, all of which are important to an understanding of the whole. In many churches one of the most neglected books is Revelation.

Within much of the contemporary church, the emphasis is on the New Testament. Considerable time is spent on the life and teachings of Christ, teachings given to His own people, but applicable to us. The balance of time is given over to the acts and writings of His followers. Their writings are directed to the church, to us.

Remarkably, the "Epistles of Christ" -- His own words to the church -- are virtually ignored. Christ's epistles are the letters to the seven churches found in the book of Revelation. I suspect that their presence in Revelation, a book feared by many clergy, is the reason they are ignored. Because they are frequently overlooked, we will examine them here.

When examining this material the most obvious question is:  Why did Christ choose to write to seven churches? Dr. Willmington points out that during the period they were written, 95-100 A. D., there were as many as 100 separate churches.(1) Therefore these specific churches were chosen as typical and representative of all local churches. They were picked for the following reasons:

A.  The letters were meant for specific churches. They spoke to specific needs within those bodies.

B.  Seven is the number of completeness. As such, general principles are present which can be applied to the churches of all ages.

C.  As is true with all Scripture, these principles can and should be applied to the lives of each believer. "He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches"  (Revelation 2: 7).

The very fact that many of the problems noted here are so rampant within the church today is due to neglecting what Christ presents here.

Another reason for choosing these specific churches is their geographical location. They formed an arch located on a circular road connecting the most populous part of Asia Minor. This arch formed the main postal route. By choosing these specific churches, the letters could circulate throughout the region.(2)


The Letter To Ephesus

These letters were dictated to John. They came as part of his vision from God through the Holy Spirit, which he recorded in the book of Revelation. "On the Lord's Day I was in the Spirit, and I heard behind me a loud voice like a trumpet, which said: 'Write on a scroll what you see and send it to the seven churches: to Ephesus, Smyrna, Pergamum, Thyatira, Sardis, Philadelphia and Laodicea'"  (Revelation 1: 10-11).

The name Ephesus means "desirable." As such, it is identified as either the Apostolic Church, or certainly a type of that church with such characteristics.

We will be using the following pattern as we examine each of the seven letters.

I.  How Christ is pictured:  Christ is shown as the one holding the seven stars -- the messengers to the seven churches. He walks among the seven golden lampstands. In Revelation, Chapter 1, the Lord is presented as High Priest and Judge over His churches. This concept is reinforced here as He is seen holding the churches with authority. Consequently, they are also under his divine protection.

As High Priest, he walks among the lampstands, watching and trimming the wicks. He refers to this imagery in verse 5 where He warns that He may remove their lampstand.

Christ dictates this letter to Ephesus from His role as head, the One Who controls the church. He speaks from a position of authority and judgment.  The letter is directed to an angel. The word used in the Greek can be interpreted angel or representative, a messenger -- possibly the pastor or maybe an angel.  The text is not clear about the individual who is the recipient.

II.  Background:  Ephesus, during the time of the early church, was one of the richest cities of the Roman Empire. It was a center of religion and commerce. It was often called "the Vanity Fair of Asia."

In Acts 19, the account of Paul at Ephesus, we see that Ephesus was a center of Idolatry. Located there was one of the seven wonders of the world, the Temple of Diana, the many-breasted goddess of fertility. The temple measured 418 x 240 feet with 100 external columns about 56 feet in height. Built on an artificial marsh, it was earthquake- proofed. The city was beautiful, but it was a center of paganism and materialism. It was a center of worldly wisdom, government and pagan ignorance.

III.  Commendations:  These included:  good works, labor, and patience. The believers could not bear those who were evil. They tested apostolic claims. They hated the deeds of the Nicolaitans.

IV.  Condemnation:  They left their first love.

V.  Counsel:  "Remember the height from which you have fallen."

VI.  Challenge:  "To him who overcomes, I will give the right to eat from the tree of life, which is in the paradise of God."

Now let us go back and look at the passage.

Vs. 1:  The letter is addressed to the messenger, be it angel or pastor. Nevertheless, it is obvious that the comments are directed to the church and to those who were part of it. And just as the Lord holds secure the messengers of the church, He holds us as individuals also. "I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one can snatch them out of my hand. My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all; no one can snatch them out of my Father's hand"  (John 10:28-29).

Vs. 2, 3 & 6:  The Lord starts the letter by commending the believers for what they are doing correctly. This is a group of believers we would do well to emulate. They are commended first for the quality of their labor -- works. However, works were not the basis of their salvation. "For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith -- and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God -- not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do"  (Ephesians 2:8-10).

Instead, their works were the product of their salvation. "He saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy. He saved us through the washing of rebirth and renewal by the Holy Spirit." "This is a trustworthy saying. And I want you to stress these things, so that those who have trusted in God may be careful to devote themselves to doing what is good. These things are excellent and profitable for everyone"  (Titus 3:3 & 8).

This church recognized that their purpose was to serve. "How much more, then, will the blood of Christ, who through the eternal Spirit offered himself unblemished to God, cleanse our consciences from acts that lead to death, so that we may serve the living God!"  (Hebrews 9:14).

The believers faithfully carried out this wearisome work. This was difficult to do. The problem with much of the contemporary church is that it's unwilling to do the hard work of service. We're lazy. The Ephesians carried out their service with patience and consistency. They endured hardships. Their ministry was carried out in the midst of persecution. They worked within an environment where the Gospel wasn't welcome. Their works were grounded in a desire to please the Lord. Thus, the persecution came because of Christ, and He praises them accordingly.

The next quality that Christ commends is the biblical orthodoxy of these believers. Doctrine DOES matter. They tested the words of all who claimed to come from God. They showed intolerance for all false teaching. They were especially commended for hating the deeds of the Nicolaitans. It is not entirely clear who this group was, though speculation says they either espoused establishing a dichotomy between clergy and laity or, more likely, they were followers of Nicolous of Antioch, who was the apostate who formed the Antinomian Gnostic cult. This group taught that to understand sin one must sample it. They were sensualists.

In either case, the issue is this:  Christ praised the believers for rejecting the false teachings -- note, hatred of the teachings, not the teachers.

Vs. 4:  Christ had a charge against  these believers in spite of the quality of their lives and ministry. It was so serious that the failure to correct it could lead to the total loss of their effectiveness for Him. They had lost that first love they originally had for the Lord -- the fervor -- the enthusiasm for Him. This isn't the love for His work, but for the Lord Himself. If they didn't remember that love and repent, returning to it, they would become useless to Christ.

They were so active, so orthodox, so concerned with truth that they had become cold. There isn't anything wrong with concern for orthodoxy. But there is something seriously wrong if the commitment to truth pushes out the command to love.

A. J. Gordon puts it this way:  "Ecclesiastical corpses lie about us. The caskets in which they repose are lined with satin and are decorated with solid silver handles and abundant flowers. Like the other caskets they are just large enough for their occupants with no room for converts. These churches have died of respectability and have been embalmed in self-compliancy. If by the grace of God, this church is alive, be warned to our opportunity or the feet of them that buried thy sisters will be at the door."

 Vs. 5:  Now Christ exhorts them in relation to this failure.

1.  They are called to remember. They were called to return their thoughts to the Lord, to their love for Him.

2.  They are called to repentance. They were to turn from their failure.

3.  They are called to return to their love of the Lord and one another.

They are called to be what they once were. The Lord gives each believer the opportunity to be what he should be. This requires repentance, changing direction. If this church didn't do this it would lose its lampstand, that is, the opportunity to shine forth for Christ.

Vs. 7:  Christ has commended this church. He has also condemned certain failings. But all this is useless to us unless we apply it. The Holy Spirit takes the Lord's word and lays it on the hearts of the believers. And so, the believer is given the promise of a place in the Kingdom. He will one day eat of the Tree of Life.

The overcomer by definition is the believer. "In all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us"  (Romans 8:37). If we are saved we are overcomers and the promises made to this church are made to us. "But thanks be to God, who always leads us in triumphal procession in Christ  ..." (2 Corinthians 2:14). This can be seen clearly in 1 John 5:4 & 5. "... for everyone born of God overcomes the world. This is the victory that has overcome the world, even our faith. Who is it that overcomes the world? Only he who believes that Jesus is the Son of God."

The recipients of the letters, we included, are to take heed of both the commendations and condemnations. We must apply them to our lives. It is only by doing so that we can adequately serve as individuals and as a local body.

I pray that our churches will desire to be typified by service to the Lord and adherence to orthodox theology. We must wake up to the need of service to those within and without the body. After all, the Lord was concerned with both the physical and spiritual needs of mankind.

Believers are facing persecution even in the United States -- ridicule and attacks by the courts. In many cases, this is a direct result of holding to the truth of Scripture:  Trying to stop abortion, putting Christ in first place above all things.

But, we also must show a Biblical concern for the truth of Scripture. This is what the whole issue of inerrancy is about. This is why we must emphasize proper teaching of the word.

So what is the problem? What is wrong with being right? What is wrong is that the desire to be active, to be right, can easily become a position separate from loving for the Lord. The first century church didn't listen to Christ's words, even after He permitted their chastening during the second and third centuries through persecution and martyrdom.

Finally, the church was dominated by clergy. During the Dark and Middle Ages, laymen had almost nothing to do with religious things. As the first love was lost, the church simply became one more political power. In terms of serving God it became irrelevant.

And as we look at the church today, considering the number of believers that are living in this country, hasn't it also to a great extent become irrelevant?

Christ's charge is that they have lost their first love, their love of Him.  This is similar to Paul's concern; "If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.  If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing"  (1 Corinthians  13:1-2).

Jesus expresses the same need for love in John 13:35: "By this all men will know you are my disciples, if you love one another."  But before we can love one another, we have to continue in the love of Christ. It was this love that the Ephesians were in danger of loosing. "'Hear, O Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.' The second is this:  'Love your neighbor as yourself.' There is no commandment greater than these"  (Mark 12:29- 31).

I believe there is a direct relationship between these two loves. The lack of a vertical love towards Christ leads to a lack of horizontal love toward others. The danger is that we end up as so many churches have, working and holding to truth, but cold and dead, no longer of any use to the Lord. The lampstand will be removed, the light and love of Christ no longer showing forth, and we will no longer be able to serve.

This is a true danger, for us as individual believers and for our churches. Do we still have the Lord's love in us that is found in the new believer? If not, then we must pray that the Holy Spirit will return it to us. Let us give ear and hear "what the Spirit says to the churches."


1.  Willmington, Dr. H. L., WILLMINGTON'S GUIDE TO THE BIBLE, Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, IL, 1981, p. 540.

2.  Walvoord, John F., THE REVELATION OF JESUS CHRIST, Moody Press, Chicago, IL, 1966, p. 51.

3.  Willmington, p. 541.
New in Christ
New in Christ
"New in Christ" is a regular MORNING STAR column written for people who wish to learn more about the basic teachings of Biblical Christianity. The editorial staff at MORNING STAR encourages all readers to use freely this information to help new Christians grow in their walk with the Lord.


LIFESTYLES OF THE POOR AND HUMBLE
(Part one of a two-part series)

By Toby Trudel


Christians aren't perfect, just forgiven. Nevertheless, our commitment to the Lord means we should always seek to be perfect like Christ. We don't have to guess or argue among ourselves about right or wrong or how we should be spending our time. God was wise enough to give us His commandments and needed guidelines in the Bible. There are two important points to make concerning this last sentence. First, there's a difference between God's commandments and His guidelines. Commandments are rules we must always follow and never break. Guidelines are directions for us to use in everyday decision making.  

Second, the Bible has the answers to what we need to know. Of course it's possible to get real "clever," and think of some heavy philosophical questions that the Bible doesn't answer. (i.e. How did Satan originally become evil?) The answer is not given to us, nor do we need to know.

Christians should simply accept God's word that certain things are as He says. Let's not be so vain to think there is nothing beyond human understanding. It's not possible for us to know everything the Lord knows. We are told in the Bible, "Oh, the depth of the riches of the wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable his judgments, and his paths beyond tracing out! "Who has known the mind of the Lord? Or who has been his counselor?" "Who has ever given to God, that God should repay him?" For from him and through him and to him are all things. To him be the glory forever! Amen" (Romans 11:33-36). 

There are many things God does, or allows to happen in this world that we just can't fully comprehend. To illustrate how far we are from God, He tells us: "For the foolishness of God is wiser than man's wisdom, and the weakness of God is stronger than man's strength" (1 Corinthians 1:25). 

There are only twenty-four hours in a day. There is only so much time to spend learning what the Lord wants us to know. In fact, one of His guidelines is that we should not waste time discussing unanswerable questions and far out philosophical ideas. We are told, "Don't have anything to do with foolish and stupid arguments, because you know they produce quarrels"  (2 Timothy 2:23). (also see Titus 3:9) 

How to get to heaven, and how to live until we get there, are the important questions. They are quite well-answered in God's word. Many of the problems we meet in life result from violating God's commandments. God's commandments were originally listed in the Old Testament. (see Exodus 20:1-17) They of course hold true forever. In the New Testament Christ summarized them, moving the focus from works to a heart attitude.

Fallen human nature causes us to break God's laws. Therefore, when someone excuses behavior by saying, "it's not wrong, it's 'natural,'" they are only half right. God's word gives us some examples of what is both wrong and yet "natural" for human nature. The Bible states that lying, swearing, hatred, greed, slander, fighting, jealousy, envy, lust, adultery, theft, drunkenness, desire for great wealth and possessions, desire for objects that belong to others (gambling), lustfulness, desire for sex outside a married relationship, homosexuality, idol worship and even delving in to witchcraft are all "natural" behaviors.

God also tells us that anyone willfully participating in any of these activities will not get into heaven. "Do you not know that the wicked will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived:  Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor male prostitutes nor homosexual offenders nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God" (1 Corinthians 6:9,10). (also see Galatians 5:21, Ephesians 5:5, Colossians 3:5-9)  

Despite Biblical warnings, many people continue to let such behaviors keep them from making a commitment to the Lord. Jesus specifically spoke out against these behaviors. "If your right eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell"  (Matthew 5:29-30). Of course He was speaking figuratively, but the point He was making is easily understood.  

When we are born again, we are to put off these things and "walk in the Spirit"  (Galatians 5:16). As we allow the Holy Spirit to live through us, we will see new qualities in our lives. "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law"  (Galatians 5:22,23)  

How do we shake the old "natural" tendencies off? The temptations certainly just don't vanish! The answer is again given to us in scripture. "I can do everything through Him who gives me strength"  (Philippians 4:13) We're not totally helpless. 

Christians should realize some actions may be permissible. But, they may be a poor choice. If there's any chance that this could gain control over them, they should keep away from it.  "Everything is permissible for me - but not everything is beneficial. Everything is permissible for me - but I will not be mastered by anything" (1 Corinthians 6:12). For example,  consuming a moderate amount of alcohol is not a sin (1 Timothy 5:23). Drunkenness is sin. (1st Corinthians 6:10, Galatians 5:21). We have the choice of whether or not to put ourselves in the presence of temptation. 

Recognize that Christians are never tempted by God. He does not tempt men. "When tempted, no one should say, "God is tempting me." For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone; but each one is tempted when, by his own evil desire, he is dragged away and enticed. Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death" (James 1:13-15).

What is God's guideline to keep from sin? "Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable - if anything is excellent or praiseworthy - think about such things" (Philippians 4:8).

Above all else, always ask Jesus to help you with your weaknesses and don't put yourself in tempting situations. "Rather, clothe yourselves with the Lord Jesus Christ, and do not think about how to gratify the desires of the sinful nature" (Romans 13:14). 

An excellent way to gain spiritual strength is by getting together with other Christians regularly. Going to church consistently is proper behavior for all Christians. "Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another - and all the more as you see the Day approaching" (Hebrews 10:25).  

What about our inner feelings that emerge when people do things to upset us? We shouldn't put a stop to our emotional reflexes. So, are we sinning whenever we get angry? Our creator knows us well, and says: "In your anger do not sin  Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry  and do not give the devil a foothold" (Ephesians 4:26). We are to forgive those that hurt us. "Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you" (Ephesians 4:32).

What do our thoughts fit into the discussion? If we deliberately think about sinful things, is it the same as actually committing a sinful act? The Lord is very definite on this matter. He gave us two clear examples. "But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart"  (Matthew 5:28). 

Second, if a man hates another man he's guilty of murder. "Anyone who hates his brother is a murderer, and you know that no murderer has eternal life in him" (1 John 3:15). Remember, we're not talking about passing thoughts here. But, if we dwell on the subject, we are sinning. It's up to you to catch yourself in the act, stop, and ask the Lord to pardon your slipup.

Our speech can also be a problem. As Christians, we represent Christ. "We are therefore Christ's ambassadors, as though God was making his appeal through us" (2 Corinthians 5:20). We must always act accordingly in public. This means that swearing, dirty jokes and other similar speech patterns have no place in a Christian's life. "Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen" (Ephesians 4:29, also 4:31, 5:4). Of course using the Lord's name in vain is breaking the third commandment. "You shall not misuse the name of the Lord your God, for the Lord will not hold anyone guiltless who misuses his name"  (Exodus 20:7).

I often hear people in public use the words "Jesus Christ," as an expression in their conversation. What is shocking is that most of the people I hear use the Lord's name in vain consider themselves to be "Christians."  We are responsible to be on our best behavior so no one can point to any bad conduct on our part. "We put no stumbling block in anyone's path, so that our ministry will not be discredited" (2 Corinthians 6:3-4). (also see Philippians 2:14-16, 4:5) 

Our speech should always be pleasant and full of kind things, so that we don't offend anyone and possibly prevent them from finding Christ. "Do not cause anyone to stumble, whether Jews, Greeks or the church of God - even as I try to please everybody in every way. For I am not seeking my own good but the good of many, so that they may be saved" (1 Corinthians 10:32-33). 

In fact, if we love the Lord, we are to look for opportunities to tell others about Him and not be shy about it. "You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden" (Matthew 5:14). (also see 2 Corinthians 5:11, Colossians 4:5-6)

In the next issue, we will discuss telling others about Jesus. We also will consider God's prescription for dealing with our temptation.
Growing in Grace
Growing in Grace
This column constitutes part three of a three part series on the subject "Christ in You." 


CHRIST IN YOU
Intimacy With Christ

By Pastor Russell Walden


The Song of Solomon expresses a beautiful sentiment that reflects the inward life of the believer:

Song of Solomon 1:2:  "Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth: thy love (is) better than wine."

The Song of Solomon is a love poem between a king and his bride. It foreshadows the relationship between King Jesus and the bride, the Church.

The focus of the poem is identified as a cry for deep intimacy with Jesus. The words articulate a desire beyond just hearing the word from God. They demand an intimacy with the lips which spoke the Word. Any other aspect of the Christian life however gracious and wonderful pales beside this benefit:  Intimate fellowship with Jesus. "I count all things loss for the excellency of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord ... (I) ... do count them dung, that I may win Christ" (Philippians 3:8 -- author's parentheses). We know what dung is. Paul is telling us there is no substitute for personal relationship with Jesus. Christianity has become so outwardly focused we risk losing inward fellowship with Jesus.

In John 5:1-9 you can find the story of the impotent man healed by Jesus at the pool of Bethesda. For many years this man's entire focus was on the pool. If he could reach the water when it was first troubled by an angel, he'd be restored.

One day Jesus came to the pool. He asked the man if he wanted to be healed. The man's reply was, "Sir, I have no man to put me in the water ..." The man had become so myopic that when Deliverance Himself was made available, he couldn't make the adjustment.

You may be tempted to look outwardly for relief, for guidance and strength. But Jesus within remains overlooked. He asks, "What am I? worthless?"

For the man at Bethesda, Jesus didn't measure up to his needs. He was waiting for an event, He wasn't looking for a man when Jesus commanded him, "Rise, take your bed and walk."

You can fall into the trap of waiting for the next revival, or driving across the state to find a minister you feel measures up to your need. But Jesus is in your heart, offering deliverance. Realize revivals are great and men of God have their place. However, if they infringe upon the indwelling Christ, then you are bound for frustration and misery.

"To whom God would make known what [is] the riches of the glory of this mystery among the Gentiles; which is Christ in you, the hope of glory. Whom we preach, warning every man, and teaching every man in all wisdom; that we may present every man perfect in Christ Jesus. Whereunto I also labour, striving according to his working, which worketh in me mightily"  (Colossians 1:27-29).

In Charismatic circles there is a humorous reference to "glory hounds," what I called "gospel groupies" in part one of this series. Every one of us desires to see God's glory manifested in our lives. We hunger and thirst for the resonance of God's voice deep in our souls -- that magic moment when we are captivated with the nearness of God and the communication of His love. When this experience is not strong in our devotional life, we easily fall into that outward search for spiritual experience.

Remember, the greatest hope you have in your walk with God is found in intimacy with Jesus, one-on-one. This is seen in the example of the prophet Elijah. He found the voice of God in the "still, small voice," not the whirlwind, the earthquake, or the fire.

Paul warns and teaches this truth in order to present "every man perfect in Christ Jesus." You may have perfect knowledge of your church doctrine. You may be a clone of your favorite preacher. But true, deep and lasting fullness only comes as you are perfected -- matured in intimacy with Jesus. "But speaking the truth in love, may grow up into him in all things, which is the head, [even] Christ." (Ephesians 4:15).

Maturity is measured by relationship in Jesus. You cannot have proper relationship to brothers and sisters in Christ until you are rightly related to Him.

For years I had difficulty accepting reproof from others. Often I felt manipulated in some way. Someone may have come with a correction, and no matter if it was right or wrong, I would submit and repent. Then later, alone with my thoughts, I would see that I was too quick to agree. I was more interested in pleasing my friends than I was in truly knowing the counsel of God. My conscience would be defiled and my relationship would be damaged with that brother or sister.

"For though ye have ten thousand instructors in Christ, yet [have ye] not many fathers:  for in Christ Jesus I have begotten you through the gospel"  (1 Corinthians 4:15).

Don't think more highly of one another than is fitting. Lower your demands and expectations. Preachers don't glow in the dark. At one time, I was meeting with several other pastors on a weekly basis for prayer and Bible study. One day when this issue came up, I was greatly helped by a statement that was made: "Jesus in you is your Father; Jesus in others is your brother. You should always take what your brother says to your Father for confirmation. You are always obligated to obey your Father, but your brother's authority is conditional."

At times your Father will tell you, "Your brother is in charge till I get back ..." You better listen up. The line of authority however always traces back to Jesus within your own heart and life. Any leader who imposes himself between you and your conscience, between you and your relationship with God has trespass on sacred ground.

Any pastor would agree that he cannot teach you anything that the Holy Spirit hasn't already planted in your heart in some form. The inward witness you feel when listening to a teaching is "deep calling to deep." The Holy Spirit is confirming through the teacher vital truths that find agreement with precepts planted in your spirit by God's convicting presence.

Developing inward life with Christ involves a healthy balance of intuitive sensitivity and grounding in the Word. The biblical language describing this inward life uses terms such as "dreams" and "visions." Dreams and visions are a legitimate aspect of life in Christ.

In the book of Acts the controversial acceptance of God's grace to the Gentiles was justified by Peter, not by presentation of a theological treatise, but by the report of an angelic visitation and a vision. It may not happen on a daily basis, but God does speak to man through dreams and visions.

In maximizing your inward life with Jesus, the practical activity of prayer, mediation and the word must be addressed. Because of time constraints, it may be helpful to structure your prayer time with a journal. Morning is the best time because your thoughts are uncluttered. Your day can begin in communion with the Holy Spirit if only for a few minutes. It is a stiff challenge to set an alarm early every day.

There is a more flexible approach. The late George Muller noted in his autobiography that he made an agreement with the Lord. When he woke up he would get up. You may think that you would never find time with the Lord under that arrangement. But in fact, I often come wide awake at three a.m. or so, hearing myself promise the Lord, "when I wake up I'll get up." On such days, I never suffer from fatigue because the early rising was ordained of God, and He gave strength where needed.

Upon rising, reach for your Bible. Mr. Muller recommended that your prayer time begin with Bible meditation. Don't determine to read a certain number of chapters. Read until you are moved to respond to God's Spirit. Give thanks, repent, whatever the appropriate response may be. In the time you take, TAKE YOUR TIME. Don't do all the talking. Trust in God's faithfulness to speak. Ignore that clanging gong, "That's just me, That's just me . . ."

Over time, vital truths and precious sentiments will reach you from God's throne. Don't be rigid, don't get legalistic. Take it as it comes. If you miss a day, don't be condemned. God is not keeping score.  God is not calling you to compete with your concept of His expectations upon your performance. He is calling you to intimate fellowship with Him. "Behold, I stand at the door, and knock: if any man hear my voice, and open the door, I will come in to him, and will sup with him, and he with me"  (Revelation 3:20).

God has created us for relationship with Him. Through dependency on the Holy Spirit grow in intimacy with Christ in you.
The WORD For Today 
The WORD For Today 
This month, we will continue the series on Communication in Marriage. We intend to examine communication problems in marriage from a biblical perspective. We will show how couples can apply God's word to their marriage. The companion book to this study is H. Norman Wright's COMMUNICATION:  KEY TO YOUR MARRIAGE. The book is published by Regal Books and should be available from your Christian book store. This is the second of ten articles inspired by a series given by Pastor Geoff Kragen through Foothill Bible Church in Lincoln, California.


WHO'S THE BOSS?


As I noted last month, with some of these articles I will provide what I have defined as basic rules of communication. These are in addition to the topic discussed and will give some easy suggestions that can immediately help you with your communication.


RULE 2:  Couples don't have to agree on everything!

This is certainly one of the most liberating rules. Too frequently, we think if we are communicating adequately we must come to the same conclusion on a subject. The Bible doesn't say anything about husbands and wives always agreeing on everything.

Certainly on major issues requiring decisions the couple must find a way to come to a mutually agreeable response. This doesn't mean we have to think the same way. Remember, couples are two individuals with individual tastes, opinions and perspectives. If scripture doesn't speak to a specific issue, then each one is entitled to his/her own opinion.

We can agree to disagree. Then we have the fun of trying to find a way to compromise. More on this at some other time.


COUPLES DON'T HAVE TO AGREE ON EVERYTHING!


This rule does lead to an interesting question. Who is the boss? Unfortunately, much of the church has been ready to answer that question very quickly. They say the husband is the boss, and the wife is the slave.

Is this what scripture teaches? DEFINITELY NOT!! Scripture does teach an order of responsibility within the home. And clearly, someone does have to take final responsibility for the decisions made by the family. We need to examine what is frequently the most misused and misunderstood section of scripture. These are Paul's teachings on the responsibilities of husbands and wives as found in Ephesians 5.

First however, note that the section identifying the responsibilities of husbands, wives and children starts off by saying:  "Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ"  (Ephesians 5:21). Everyone within the family is to submit to one another, not just the wife to the husband.

Let us start by examining the responsibility of the godly wife. "Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything"  (5:22-24).

At a conference I once attended, I heard an example of a submissive wife. The speaker told us that on one specific occasion the phone rang. When hearing who it was, he TOLD his wife to say that he wasn't at home. Now some would teach that the submissive wife must lie for her husband. And some wives would tell their husbands "where to get off." This wife simply laid the phone on the table and walked away. She wouldn't lie for her husband. But, she wouldn't nag him either. She simply didn't make his problem hers.

Submission is more of an attitude of relationship rather than an act of obedience. The woman was created to be a companion to man. "The LORD God said, 'It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him'"  (Genesis 2:18).  Mankind was created male and female. They are equal -- not the same -- but equal.

Paul tells us that male and female are equal within the church. "There is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus"  (Galatians 3:28). Within Christ we are all equal. This equality exists within the home as well as the church. This is positional equality though. There is an organizational distinctive. Just as the elders are responsible for the spiritual oversight of the church, so is the husband for the family.

The point is that the wife submits to the husband, not because he is superior to her, but because God gave him the responsibility of oversight of the family. The wife is to be submissive, not because the husband necessarily deserves her submission, but because she is being obedient to Christ.

Women, you are called to be a Christian wife in response to the Lord. You can do this regardless of what kind of husband you have. With some it is easier, with others it can be extremely difficult. If your desire is to please God, He will empower you to be what He desires you to be.

In my counseling practice, husbands frequently complain they feel I take their wives' side. While this isn't entirely correct, there is nevertheless some truth to it. This is because the husband is given the harder responsibility. And if a husband lives obediently to the Lord, it is easier for the wife to fulfill her responsibility.

"Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church -- for we are members of his body. "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh." This is a profound mystery -- but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband"  (5:25-33).

There are two major points in this passage. First:  husbands, consider the model we are provided with. We are to love our wives as Christ loves the Church. Christ is God. He was willing to die so that we might be saved and become part of His body, the Church. He is the head of the Church, but He leads us as a servant. "Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another's feet. I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you. I tell you the truth, no servant is greater than his master, nor is a messenger greater than the one who sent him. Now that you know these things, you will be blessed if you do them"  (John 13:14-17).

Husbands, are you ready to lay down your life for your wife? Or are you ready to "wash" her feet? Are you ready to do the difficult, to put her needs ahead of your own? This is why Paul calls us to love our wives as our own bodies. This means that we must treat her with gentleness, always being concerned for her care and nurturing. Husbands, if we treat our wives this way, do you really think that it will be a difficult task for them to be submissive?

It never ceases to amaze me how so many churches can emphasize the responsibility of the wife to the husband, but never bother to remind husbands that the greater responsibility is theirs.

And just as with the wife, obedience isn't dependent on the behavior of our wives. We are to love her in obedience to Christ. This isn't an option, dependent on whether she is lovable. If we are to please the Lord, we MUST love our wives. If our desire is to please God, He will empower us to be what He desires us to be.

And just as Christ's love was active, carried out by His death, our love isn't the "warm fuzzies." It is a conscious decision to put our wives' needs ahead of our own, whatever the circumstance.

Second, couples again should note verse 32. "This is a profound mystery -- but I am talking about Christ and the church." The Christian marriage is to serve as an example of the relationship between Christ and the Church. It is as we walk in obedience to the Lord, making Him the head of our marriage, just as He is the head of the Church, that people will see Him in our lives.

And, in a time of such troubled marriages, the positive Christian marriage can engender a longing in others for what we have. What we have is Christ. Our marriages do not have to be perfect. They are part of a growth process. But, as we show Christ in the midst of the process, we are a positive witness for Him.

You may say:  "This all sounds great in theory, but how do we put it into practice?"  Well, you will just have to wait until next month, when we talk about "A Workable Structure."
The Roots of our Faith
The Roots of our Faith
THE NATURE OF GOD IN THE OLD TESTAMENT

By Pastor Chuck Cohen
King of Kings Assembly
Jerusalem, Israel


". . . I worship the God of my fathers, believing all things which are written in the Law and in the Prophets." (Acts 21:14)

Messianic terms used in this teaching:

Yeshua = Jesus
Messiah = Christ
Tanach = Old Testament


Grace and peace to you from God our Father and the Lord Yeshua our Messiah. We thank you for the positive response to our first article in this series on the importance of the Tanach for believers today.

We are going to start examining some doctrines that believers in Yeshua consider essential to the gospel and demonstrate that the roots of these doctrines are found in the Tanach. Of course we recognize the truth of "progressive revelation", that God did disclose more of His revelation to His people in the course of completing the Holy Scriptures. However, this does not eliminate the fact that certain concepts were revealed early in history. 

Walter J. Kaiser Jr., in his book, "Toward An Old Testament Theology", makes this observation. "Once in a while historical progress . . . allowed a full maturation of an aspect of the record, and at all those points the text amazes us with the way in which meaning and teaching outstrip experience and the times" (Pg. 8,9). Our main emphasis is that all the major doctrines of the gospel which we find in the New Testament have their roots in the Old Testament.

This second article of the series, "The Roots of Our Faith", will begin to explore the nature of God. Malachi 3:6 states, "For I am the LORD, I do not change." The theological term "immutable" describes this characteristic of God. If this is true then the revelation of His nature and person through His Son Yeshua and through the New Testament (John 1:14,18; Colossians 1:15-19; Hebrews 1:1-3) MUST have deep roots in the Tanach.


GOD IS LOVE (1 John 4:8,16)

Perhaps the most common phrase that believers use to express the essence of the good news to an unbeliever is "God loves you!" This is a tremendous truth brought out in all its fullness in the New Testament. But it saddens us to hear fellow believers talk of the "God of love" in the New Testament as though compared to the "God of judgment" in the Tanach. It is as if some cannot believe that He is the same God, the same loving righteousness Father, from Genesis to Revelation. In fact, in the first century this error, called "gnosticism", was identified as a heresy. It is thought that much of what the Apostle John wrote was meant to combat this heresy. Even today people unfamiliar with the Tanach are vulnerable to gnosticism.

It is important to avoid compartmentalizing God into the various characteristics of His nature. As A.W. Tozer expressed in his highly recommended book, "The Knowledge of the Holy" . . . "The words 'God is love' mean that love is an essential attribute of God. Love is something true of God but it is not God. It expresses the way God is in His unitary being, as do the words holiness, justice, faithfulness and truth. Because God is immutable He always acts like Himself, and because He is a unity He never suspends one of His attributes in order to exercise another." (pg. 105) 

We need to see His love in action even in the midst of His judgments. This is clear if we realize that the Lord sent ten plagues on Egypt (He could have pulled Israel out immediately) in order to give the Egyptians a chance to know that the LORD is God as well as to increase the faith of His people. (Exodus 7:5,16,17; 8:19,22; 9:14-16,20,29; 10:1,2; 11:7; 14:4,18,31)

If our God is "the same yesterday, today and forever" (Hebrews 13:8), then He is a God of love in the Tanach as well as in the New Testament, and also a God of judgement in the New Testament as well as in the Tanach. Before we search the Tanach scriptures concerning His love, consider these New Testament verses concerning His judgment. He is the same God in all of the scriptures.

Matthew 10:28 - "And do not fear those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. But rather fear Him who is able to destroy both soul and body in hell." Contrary to some explanations we have heard of this verse, Yeshua is telling His followers to fear God. This is in line with the many commandments in the Tanach that encourage the fear of the LORD. Here are some examples: Deuteronomy 5:29; Joshua 24:14; I Samuel 12:14; Psalms 2:11; 19:9; 85:9; Proverbs 1:7; Ecclesiastes 12:13; Isaiah 8:13; Malachi 4:2.

Acts 5:1-11 records God's judgment of death on Ananias and Sapphira because they lied to the Holy Spirit.

2 Corinthians 5:10,11 - "For we must all appear before the judgment seat of the Messiah, that each may receive the things done in the body . . . Knowing, therefore, the terror of the Lord, we persuade men . . ." The Greek word translated "terror" is the word "phobos" from which we get "phobia". It literally means: "to be put in fear; alarm or fright; exceedingly fearful or terrified." (Strong's Concordance)

Hebrews 10:30,31 - "For we know Him who said, 'Vengeance is Mine; I will repay, says the Lord.' And again, 'The Lord will judge His people.' It is a fearful thing to fall into the hands of the living God."

Hebrews 12:29 -"For our God is a consuming fire."

Revelation 2:23 - "And I will kill her children with death. And all the churches shall know that I am He who searches the minds and hearts." This is the gentle Lamb of God, our Lord Yeshua, making this ultimatum.

Revelation 3:16 - ". . . because you are lukewarm . . . I will spew you out of My mouth."

These New Testament verses clearly reveal God's justice and judgment. Is His love as clearly shown in the Tanach as is His justice in the New Testament? Now look at these scriptures from the Tanach concerning God's love. (All the upper case text in these scripture references has been added for emphasis.)

Deuteronomy 7:6-13 - The Lord, speaking through Moses, makes this beautiful statement to Israel as they are about to enter the promised land. "The LORD did not set HIS LOVE on you nor choose you because you were more in number than any other people, for you were the least . . . BUT BECAUSE THE LORD LOVES YOU, and because He would keep the oath which He swore to your fathers . . ." Moses goes on to say that if Israel will listen to and do all that the LORD commands, then "the LORD your God will keep with you the covenant and the mercy which He swore to your fathers. And HE WILL LOVE YOU AND BLESS YOU . . ." This is part of the "law of Moses."

Deuteronomy 23:5 - Here, Moses says in regard to the incident found in Numbers 23-25, that ". . . the LORD your God would not listen to Balaam, but the LORD your God turned the curse into a blessing for you, BECAUSE THE LORD YOUR GOD LOVES YOU." Did He not take the curse for us when, because of His love, Yeshua our Messiah died on the cross in our place? Did He not take on Himself the judgment for breaking the law and put in its place the blessing of our God who so abundantly loves us? (Galatians 3:13)

Isaiah 38:17 - Here is a fascinating part of King Hezekiah's prayer of thanksgiving for his healing and the extension of his life. "But You have, in love to my soul, delivered it from the pit of corruption; for You have cast all my sins behind Your back." Do you see the connection between the forgiveness of our sins and God's love for us?

Isaiah 63:9 - This text is found in the context of 63:7-16. Isaiah is calling on God to remember His lovingkindnesses to Israel (v.7) and to turn again to Israel because of His covenant relationship with her. (This is a model intercession for Israel.) Look at verse 9. "In all their affliction He was afflicted, and the Angel of His Presence saved them; IN HIS LOVE and in His pity He redeemed them; and He bore them and carried them all the days of old."

Ezekiel 16 is one of the classic bible chapters on God's relationship with Israel. In the first part, vv. 1-15, God recalls His love for Israel when He first chose her. He then goes on to state Israel's harlotries against Him in vv. 16-34. We need to understand that the only reason that Israel could be called adulterous and a harlot by God is because He saw her as His wife! This is evident from v. 8, where God remembers His initial love for Israel. "When I passed by you again and looked upon you, indeed your time was THE TIME OF LOVE; so I spread My wing over you and covered your nakedness. Yes, I swore an oath to you and entered into a covenant with you, and you became Mine, says the Lord God." 

The King James Version ''skirt'', and the original Hebrew "wing" both indicate betrothal. Compare this with Ruth 3:9. In vv. 35-59 God announces her judgments but in vv. 60-63 He prophecies that in the end He will establish an everlasting covenant with the house of Israel.

Hosea 14:4 - This is from the scripture portion read in synagogues on the Sabbath of repentance, Shabbat Shuvah, which is the Sabbath that falls between Rosh haShanah, the New Year, and Yom Kippur, the Day of Atonement. The ten days between these two holy days are called "The Days of Awe" in Judaism and are a time of heart searching and of one's seeking reconciliation with God and man. This scripture from Hosea, so appropriate for this time, concerns the undying love of God for Israel. He only waits for her to acknowledge her sin and return to her Lord and Husband. 

Hosea urges, "O Israel, return to the LORD your God . . . Take words with you and return to the LORD. Say to Him, 'Take away all iniquity; receive us graciously . . .'." The Lord responds with this promise that has kept the flame of hope alive in the Jewish people through many centuries of exile and darkness, "I will heal their backsliding, I WILL LOVE THEM FREELY, for My anger is turned away from him. I will be like the dew to Israel."

There are many other verses in the Tanach which speak of God's love. Here are several more for you to look up: Deuteronomy 10:15; Jeremiah 31:3; Hosea 3:1; 11:4; Zephaniah 3:17. Finally there is the Song of Songs which Rabbi Akiva, the famous second century rabbi, declared as the "Holy of Holies" of the Holy Scriptures. Many see it as an allegory of both the love between God and Israel and between Yeshua and His bride.

We conclude by proclaiming that ". . . God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life". (John 3:16) Our salvation rests on His faithful promises to us through His Son Yeshua. God's nature is unchanging and He has been a God of love from the very beginning, even before the creation of the world.

"The LORD your God in your midst, The Mighty One will save;
He will rejoice over you with gladness, 
He will quiet you in His love, 
He will rejoice over you with singing." 
(Zephaniah 3:17 - NKJV)
Messianic Studies
Messianic Studies
WHY DID MESSIAH HAVE TO DIE?


The concept that Messiah had to die in order to bring salvation to the world is an idea that is foreign to most Jewish people today. In fact, the idea was forcefully rejected by Peter, one of the disciples of Yeshua (Hebrew for Jesus), when it was first suggested.

"Peter took him aside and began to rebuke him, 'Never, Lord!' he said. 'This shall never happen to you!'" (1)

It was also difficult for Yeshua's contemporaries to anticipate and comprehend such an event. When He once addressed the crowd, saying, "But I, when I am lifted up from the earth, will draw all men to myself," (2) - speaking of His own forthcoming death - the multitude seemed puzzled.

"We have heard from the Law that the Messiah will remain forever, so how can you say, 'The Son of Man must be lifted up'? Who is this 'Son of Man'? (3)

It is thus plain from Yeshua's own testimony that Messiah did have to die. Why, then, was this so?


Was His Death Due to Personal Fault?

There are those who believe it was Yeshua's own fault that He was crucified. It was the position of the religious and political leaders of His own day. They considered Him guilty of breaking the Law of Moses in the matter of blasphemy. They considered Him to have committed the ultimate sin in declaring Himself equal with God.

The Sanhedrin wanted the Roman authorities to silence Him because they were convinced that He deserved to die. Yet, note the accusation that was placed above the cross: "Yeshua of Nazareth, the King of the Jews." Was this His crime? Was this the reason for His crucifixion - that He said He was the King of the Jews? David had been King of Israel a thousand years before, and he wasn't condemned for such a declaration!

No, His claim to be the King of the Jews certainly wasn't the cause for His execution. The question then remains: Was Yeshua at fault at all? Did He ever fail in the slightest particular? Was there any shortcoming, any sin?

Numberless criminals have forfeited their lives throughout history for crimes against society, but this was not true of Messiah. The Bible clearly teaches His sinlessness. He is compared to the spotless lamb of the first Passover in Egypt. He is described prophetically in Isaiah as a perfect lamb:

"He was oppressed and afflicted, yet he did not open his mouth; he was led like a lamb to the slaughter, and as a sheep before her shearers is silent, so he did not open his mouth." (4)

Judas, who betrayed him, admitted at the very end, "I have sinned . . . for I have betrayed innocent blood." (5) The wife of the Roman governor, Pontius Pilate, warned her husband at Yeshua's trial, "Don't have anything to do with that innocent man, I have suffered a great deal today in a dream because of him." (6) Vacillating, Pilate attempted to shift the responsibility for judgment by declaring to the crowd, "I am innocent of this man's blood . . . It is your responsibility" (7)

The Word of God continuously attests to Messiah's sinless nature. Yeshua spoke of Himself as follows: As it is, you are determined to kill me, a man who has told you the truth that I heard from God . . . Can any of you prove me guilty of sin? If I am telling the truth, why don't you believe me? (8)

The apostle Paul described Messiah, saying, "God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God." (9)

Thus the Word clearly states that Yeshua was sinless. He resisted the temptations of Satan and was obedient to God the Father through the most grievous adversity. He did not die because of personal fault.


Was His Death Due to the Viciousness of His Enemies?

The martyr theory - that Yeshua was killed because of the evil nature of His enemies - has advocates even today. They claim that Messiah died for a worthy and glorious cause, His enemies hounding Him all the way to the cross.

Let us not discount the cruelty of those who set themselves against Yeshua. King Herod, when aroused with fear and jealousy against the One who was born King of the Jews, ordered the slaying of all male babies under two years old. Some of the Pharisees and scribes of that day considered the multitudes who followed Yeshua ignorant of the finer points of Mosaic Law. They were threatened by Yeshua's influence and authority and plotted to have Him brought before the Roman authorities. Some even found false witnesses to accuse Him unjustly.

In the latter part of Messiah's earthly ministry, He could not walk openly in public, for there were those who sought to kill him. (10) Yet in spite of plots and plans to eliminate Him, Messiah's enemies could not prevail! Repeatedly it is said, "They tried to seize him, but no one laid a hand on him, because his time had not yet come.'' (11) And again, "Some wanted to seize him, but no one laid a hand on him. (12)

If it had been in their power, Messiah's enemies would have killed Him long before the time of His crucifixion. But it was not in their hands. It was in the hands of Almighty God


His Death Was to Accomplish God's Plan of Salvation

There is only one satisfactory explanation concerning the death of Messiah, only one reason why He had to die. The Bible reveals that it was to accomplish God's work of redemption. It was the very heart of His eternal plan. The Scriptures are filled with the message of Messiah's death that purchases man's salvation.

"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life." (13)

Messiah's life was not taken from Him: 

"I lay down my life for the sheep." (14)

Yeshua knew what the end of His mission would be from the start of His earthly walk:

"The Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many." (15)

Even the name given Messiah at birth reflected the purpose for His life:

"You are to give him the name Yeshua (meaning Savior) because he will save his people from their sins." (16)

No, Messiah didn't die due to personal fault; neither was He merely the victim of vindictive enemies. He was the Lamb of God, spotless, sinless, guiltless. He was the Son of God laying down His own life freely. He was the Son of Man, born into a world of sin, to take the guilt of that sin upon Himself so that all people, both Jews and Gentiles, might receive the forgiveness of God. He was our substitute; He died in our place. Messiah had to die because He was compelled by love, God's love for us. When we receive His love through believing in His death, we inherit the gift of eternal life - the fruit of Messiah's sacrificial act.

Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved. (17)


1. Matthew 16:22
2. John 12:32
3. John 12:34
4. Isaiah 53:7
5 . Matthew 27:4
6. Matthew 27:19
7. Matthew 27:24
8. John 8:40, 46
9. 2 Corinthians 5:21
10. John 7:1
11. John 7:30
12. John 7:44
13. John 3:16
14. John 10:15
15. Matthew 20:28
16. Matthew 1:21
17. Joel 2:32

All Scriptures are from the New International Version unless otherwise noted.

From CHOSEN PEOPLE MINISTRIES, INC.
1300 Cross Beam Drive 
Charlotte, NC 
28217-2800 
Canadian Headquarters
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Columns
Anee M'amin
Anee M'amin
ANEE M'AMIN is Hebrew for "I believe." Each month this column features the testimony of a Jewish believer in Yeshua (Jesus).


FROM ISRAEL TO LONDON TO FIND FAITH

By Caroline Hewitt 


Gali is an Israeli and a single mother. She and her six-year-old son, Ilya, have lived in London for the past seven years. In Israel, Gali's next door neighbor on the kibbutz (commune) was a believer in Jesus, and Gali had also spent some time at the believers' moshav (settlement) near Jerusalem. Gali was always fascinated by those people, but she could never understand how believing in Jesus could be for Jewish people.

Here in London, Gali is good friends with Carol, a Gentile Christian nurse and alumna of All Nations Bible College. Carol and others had been talking to Gali about Jesus for about a year. Gali was always interested. She had read Scriptures such as Isaiah 53 and had even prayed with these Christian friends. She had been looking for peace in her heart and knew that she never felt forgiven. Carol had explained to Gali that Jesus came to deal with those things, but Gali was still stuck on two points: How could a person believe in Jesus and stay Jewish, and what would her family think if she made the commitment?

I met Carol through Nancy, a mutual friend. On three occasions Carol, Gali and I planned to get together, but each time something happened, and one of us had to cancel. Finally Carol suggested that I just get in touch with Gali by phone. One day I called Gali from our Jews for Jesus office where I am Office Administrator.

"Is that Gali?" I asked. "Carol asked me to contact you."

"I know who you are, and I want to talk to you," Gali replied, "but I can't talk now. Call me again."

I wondered whether Gali was really interested, but I called again, only to get the same response.

"Gali, is there a good time to call you?" I asked.

"Yes," she said, "and please do call. About 10 or 11 o'clock at night is a good time."

Once more I called Gali, this time about 10:15 in the evening, and her response was totally different. She really did want to talk.

"I just found out that Jesus is Jewish," Gali began.

"That's right," I said. "Do you think He could be the Messiah?"

"I think He is the one who forgives sin; I know that I sin and I am tempted, and I want to know peace. I think He can give peace in my heart," Gali said.

As we talked, Gali asked whether believers in England observed the Jewish holidays.

I was able to explain the gospel, using the Passover imagery of Jesus as the Lamb who takes away sin. That seemed to strike a responsive chord in Gali, but then she brought up one of her objections.

"I don't want to stop being Jewish. It is important that I don't give that up for my son's sake!"

I was able to put Gali at ease about this. I explained that believing in Jesus, the Jewish Messiah, does not detract from a person's Jewishness at all.

Then Gali asked, "Doesn't God hate us if we are sinners?"

"He loves us, but He hates the sin," I explained. "That's why we need Jesus."

Gali understood. "Like when my son is bad, I punish him, but I love him."

"That's right!" I said.

"And God loves us so much that He wants the best for us?" she continued.

"Exactly! That's why we need Jesus."

"And from knowing Jesus I could have peace in my heart?"

"Receiving forgiveness would give you peace, wouldn't it?" I responded.

"Yes," she said. "How would you do that?"

"You mean how would you ask Jesus into your life?" I asked.

"That's what I want to know, to have peace!" Gali exclaimed.

I explained how she might pray to commit herself to Y'shua and asked, "Gali, do you want to pray that prayer?"

"I do- but my family?" she stopped mid sentence.

I explained about the cost of following Jesus. Gali was sure that this was what she wanted, but she was worried about her family's reaction. She asked me to pray for her, which I did. Then she requested that I hang up and call her back in five minutes so she could ask God on her own what to do.

As I put the phone down, I wondered whether Gali would answer a second time. I prayed and after a short while rang her again. Gali answered instantly.

"Tell me the prayer again," she requested.

I read her a prayer of commitment and asked if she wanted to pray now.

"You say it, and I'll say it after you," Gali said. "Then will you please pray for me?"

Gali prayed to accept Jesus, and then we prayed together. By now it was 11 p.m. Just a short while later the phone rang again. This Tim it was Carol. Gali had just called Carol to tell her the good news, and Carol wanted to rejoice with me over the telephone.

I learned later from Gali why she had not wanted to speak to me the first two times I had called. Each time, a visitor was there whom she did not want to hear our conversation. Also, when I called at a later hour, her small son was in bed and she could be more relaxed.

After Gali's profession of faith, she began to attend a local fellowship with Carol. Gali recently went to France to continue some French studies she began at University in London. Before Gali left, I was able to visit her and give her our Growth Book for new believers. I also gave her our Paris missionaries' address, and I hope to contact her myself as soon as I have an address for her in France.


Editor's Note: Caroline Hewitt works with our London office. She is on her way to becoming a missionary when her support is raised.

From the JEWS FOR JESUS NEWSLETTER.
Testimony
Testimony
BUDDIES FOR LIFE

Debbi Hood Johnson
Charlotte, North Carolina


"Buddies for Life" . . . that's what the reporter called us when she wrote her first story about our unique friendship.  BJ was a gay white male in his mid-thirties -- intelligent, gentle, a delight to be with -- who was infected with the AIDS virus.  I had been assigned to serve as his volunteer AIDS Buddy through our local AIDS service organization a few months earlier.  By definition, an AIDS Buddy typically provides friendship and emotional/practical support for a particular PWA (Person with AIDS).  But my friendship with BJ had soon grown into much more than the usual volunteer/PWA match.  A true friendship, based on mutual respect, had been forged and was continuing to grow and evolve.

As far as we know, BJ had become infected with HIV in the early 1980's during a promiscuous period of his life.  It wasn't until years later, though, that he found out he was HIV+.  By that time, he had discovered that the promiscuous life he had been living had brought no inner peace -- and had, in fact, added to the dissatisfaction with his life.

When I met "Beej", he had been celibate for a while, but was in a crisis stage emotionally and physically.  Suicidal and agoraphobic, he was almost bedbound, feeling isolated and abandoned by his family, his friends, and most certainly "the Church".  As we began to share tidbits of our lives with each other, I shared with him the basis of my work with PWAs:  God had given me the passage Matthew 25:35-45 and a clear call two years earlier to serve Him by showing His unconditional love to these "modern-day lepers".  

As I shared the Lord with him during those first few months, I learned he had given his heart to the Lord at the tender age of 12, but had struggled as a teen and young adult to find happiness and gratification outside of the Lord's plan for his life.  He was more than comfortable with our conversations about God, His plan for us, and how He would have His people address the challenge of AIDS.

As time grew, so did our relationship.  We went from respecting each other as friends, to becoming soulmates as we felt safer and safer in sharing our vulnerabilities and dreams, to realizing that we had fallen in love with each other.  This was quite an unexpected turn of events for us, and we sought God on how we should proceed.  I must admit our unconventional relationship caused not a little confusion among his gay friends and my church friends.  

Our families' reactions could not have been more diametrically opposed:  my family viewed our relationship with shame and judgement, not being able to get past the fear and ignorance involved with AIDS and gay issues.  BJ's family, on the other hand, greeted me with open arms and quick acceptance into the family.  Both of our families consider themselves to be Christians (my father is a retired Wesleyan minister), but unfortunately for us, had very different interpretations of how Jesus would have all of His people treat the sick, the lonely, the disenfranchised.  ". . . I was sick and you did not visit Me; I was thirsty and you did not give Me drink . . ."

I became BJ's primary caregiver in his losing battle with AIDS; I administered his nightly chemotherapy treatments through a central-line catheter in his chest for his cytomegalovirus (CMV).  I accompanied him to his countless doctors' visits, with the docs often telling me the latest "bad news" before telling him.  I became his greatest advocate and fiercest protector.  We were fighting a losing battle, but we still hoped for a miracle.

As we lived our daily lives, never being able to escape the "A" word, we chose to face it head-on, with a sense of humor and a clear determination to live each day to its fullest potential; we often spoke about cherishing our little "heart-snapshots", those little moments that are often forgotten.  Not only did we never pass up a chance to say "I love you", but we continued to learn how to put legs on our "I love you's" . . . not only with each other, but in our efforts to care for our other friends who were living and dying with AIDS.

Last spring, I began to notice some unusual signs of confusion in BJ; I notified his primary physician and requested a CAT scan, intuitively knowing something was very wrong.  The scan was done, and my silent fears were confirmed:  through the CAT scan and subsequent MRI tests, they had found multiple brain lesions.  On Easter Monday, 1993, BJ's doctor took us into the privacy of his office and broke the diagnosis to us together:  BJ had Progressive Multifocal Leukoence-phalopathy, or PML.  The prognosis could not have been worse; there were no known treatments for this very rare malady and PML was known for its rapid spread.  We were referred to Hospice so he could receive treatment at home to keep him as comfortable as possible until death came.

Knowing we did not have much time left together, we finalized our oft-discussed plans to be married.  We were wed in a wonderful little private ceremony at home on April 29, 1993, with his parents, a precious "videotaping friend", and the officiating minister.  As we prepared our vows, we used our special passage from Ruth (". . . where you go, I will go . . . your people shall be my people . . .").  I adamantly refused to include the phrase "til death do us part" - a meaningless phrase when a couple shares their love for the Lord and knows they will see each other again in Heaven.  

BJ's brain lesions quickly spread; up through our wedding day, he had been able to hold onto a strong, fairly clear mind and saved his physical strength.  But the days following the ceremony flew by rapidly, with him losing some parts of himself every day.  First, his words became confused, then he could only answer "yes" and "no", and finally could only communicate with me through what we called "Scarlett O'Haras" - fluttering eyelashes for "yes".  

He lost the ability to speak, to walk, to control his bodily functions - all much too quickly for either of us to fathom.  I ordered a hospital bed for him in our living room, where I stayed at his side constantly.  He drew comfort from hearing me read some of his favorite passages, especially Psalm 91 and the Lord's Prayer.  His physical pain was great, but he remained my brave, sweet Beej.  He finally fell into a deep coma . . . and died in my arms at 1:45 AM on Monday, May 17 . . . a mere eighteen days after our wedding.

At first, I was inconsolable . . . I had lost my best friend, my constant companion, my soulmate, my husband, my heart.  At the time of his death, I had been without sleep for more than 65 hours - I can remember telling a friend who tried to get me to rest that I had the rest of my life to sleep, but only a short time left with him.  The first week without BJ flew by in a blur . . . picking out his casket with his parents, trying to be brave at his wake, being unsuccessful at choking back the tears at his funeral, and finally being so proud of him at his special memorial service as the local AIDS community gathered together to comfort me and celebrate BJ's life.  
 
One by one, other PWAs, in various stages of the disease, stood unsteadily and spoke of the impact BJ had made on their lives, with his gentle, loving manner and brave example.  A particularly poignant moment came when an 80-year-old man, who had visited us often during those last days, stood and spoke haltingly of how BJ's demeanor in those final days reminded him of his childhood image of what Jesus must have looked like . . . with the flowing brown hair and beard and the gentle look of peace in his big brown eyes.

The days since BJ's death have not been easy ones, and I would be less than honest if I didn't admit to frequent bouts of anger at God.  My survivor guilt is great, but the Lord and I are continuing to work on that.  C.S. Lewis' book "A Grief Observed", with its raw honesty and exploration, has been my constant companion, as has the black leather Bible I had given to BJ for Easter several years ago.  I miss him so.  But I find solace in the knowledge that he is now at the feet of Jesus, drinking in the wonder of His presence.


Debbi Johnson has been an AIDS counselor and educator in the Charlotte, NC community for the past seven years. She is a public speaker on AIDS-related issues in the secular and church communities and works on building AIDS ministries in churches. She also moderates two AIDS-related message areas on local computer BBSs and one live AIDS hotline chat via modem weekly.

Debbi is currently working on a book about BJ's and her love story. She can be reached via Internet at: DebbiHJ@aol.com.
Christian General Store
Christian General Store
The "Christian General Store" in San Rafael, CA, has just released a catalog of Christian materials on HIV disease.  Access to biblically and medically sound information is important both to prevention and ministry to those already infected. All the best Christian books, booklets, tracts and tapes which cover the subject of HIV/AIDS are now conveniently available through the mail.  All proceeds go to expanding the ministry of the Christian General Store, which operates as a non-profit ministry under the auspices of Church of the Open Door in San Rafael, CA. Write to:

Christian General Store
2130 Fourth Street
San Rafael, CA 94901
Education
Education
COMBATTING AIDS WITH HUMAN DIGNITY

By David Morrison


Well AIDS, and international conferences on AIDS, are in the news again and, predictably, the media is filled with complaints and warnings from all manner of people who claim, incredibly, that our best course in fighting HIV infection is to become more "open," "loose" and "understanding" of the types and varieties of behavior which spread the disease in the first place.

Christine Gebbie, President Clinton's "AIDS czar" would seem to be one who holds this view.  This week she was quoted in the news media as saying that American society must become less "puritanical" and more "loose" when it comes to discussing sex if we are going to combat HIV effectively.  Well, with all due respect to Ms. Gebbie and her office, I disagree.

It's not so much the broad premise of her statement which bothers me.  I believe people should be warned about AIDS and if I were shy about communicating about HIV I wouldn't be writing this column.  But I am bothered that "AIDS advocates" so often wrap their discussion in a great gauzy film of political correctness at the same time the true risks are played down.

Speaking honestly means telling people, over and over again, that avoiding HIV means more than simply using a condom and hoping to duck the risk.  And it means more than going from one sexual partner per day to one per week. It means, in fact, not doing the things that spread this disease, period.  It means being honest with people about the sharpness, the very blackness and whiteness, of their decisions.  Such decisions are not assisted by the parade of  "experts" and "advocates" who have so blurred the lines of risk and responsibility that, I believe, the likelihood of HIV infection is probably enhanced by a round of "AIDS education," not diminished.

Indeed, I wish I have been a reporter covering Ms. Gebbie's remarks so that I might ask here just how much "less puritanical" this country can afford to get.  Already we abort about 4000+ infants each day, would "more acceptance" of sexual behavior lower that number?  Will teaching children to masturbate each other "properly" (called "outercourse" by one recent "education" effort) not lead them, eventually, into the intercourse which is haunted by the very specter of death?

At their heart, there is something deeply patronizing, dehumanizing and undignified about statements like Ms. Gebbie's.  It is akin to all others which chide people like me for not "accepting the reality" that sexually active teenagers are inevitable and for choosing to believe that they are just as capable, if properly motivated and informed, of making good, rational, moral choices as their elders are..  Ms. Gebbie's remarks instead advance the notion, as a given, that teenagers are little more than beasts in human shape who cannot be relied upon to regulate their own behavior.  

And of course when speakers like Ms. Gebbie say the things they do they tend to be self-fulfilling. After all, there is nothing like being a teen who is trying to do the right thing in the face of not only 
peers who have chosen otherwise, but adults who teach that you are incapable of making such decisions.  Certainly the teen years are no picnic and it can be difficult to find a path through a new terrain, but those on that path are surely better served supplying more light and less fog.

And the source of that light is Christ and His Church.  The Church must advance, as a counterpoint to the Christine Gebbie's of the world, its unique teaching that human beings are created by God and derive a measure of dignity from that creation.  The Church must also point out, clearly, that this dignity is not enhanced by living irresponsibly but by living in obedience.  In short, it is our task as adults to offer our societies children the higher path, not the lower, and to demonstrate it by our example.  If we do so I am confident we will go much farther toward preventing HIV infection than a thousand "AIDS education" courses could ever go.


(C) 1993 David Morrison. Used with permission. David Morrison can be reached via Internet Email at: dcmorrison@aol.com.
Mission Field 
Mission Field 
Russia . . . The Revival Continues

By Joseph A. Nigro
Straight Path Ministries
Oradell New Jersey


Once again, I must include a brief account of what God did on our last trip to Russia. I assure you that mere words cannot describe the pouring forth of God's Spirit into the land of Russia. Since the two previous newsletters covered Russia exclusively, I have to refrain from making this a "Russian Report Newsletter." But I still have to share of the blessings that God bestowed upon us as we served Him in Russia.

Before I left for Russia, I asked God what He expected on this trip. He specifically told me in my spirit to make sure that "our messages and our preaching were not in persuasive words of wisdom, but in demonstration of the Spirit and of power, that their faith would not rest on the wisdom of men, but on the power of God." God also emphasized to me that the music worship team was not to perform but to worship, and to lead the people into worship.

Our team of eleven dear sisters and brothers in Christ wholeheartedly prayed every morning to stay in one mind, one accord and one Spirit, and that we would advance only His Kingdom and His Glory. We continued that prayer throughout the trip and we saw the book of Acts come alive in Tula, Russia. We became a close knit family sharing all of our possessions, and concerns with each other . . . weeping and crying, laughing and rejoicing together as we saw souls come into a relationship with Jesus. Just like in the book of Acts, we saw each member of the team use his spiritual gifts, and some used gifts that they didn't even know they had!

Once again, God's grace was upon the team to Russia as we gave out 16,000 Bibles, 4000 children's tracts, several hundred cassettes of music and recordings of the Gospel of John, and videos of the "Jesus Film." We even had several hundred gospel toys for the children.  We conservatively saw over 1700 people come to the saving knowledge of Jesus Christ!  The trip was physically harder than the previous trips because of the working conditions . . . cold blowing snow, roaches and more roaches in all of our rooms, calf tongue for lunch and dinner, and a demanding tight schedule. Yet we experienced God's hand upon the whole trip, and we learned to accept whatever circumstances God put us in.

God blessed us with an anointed worship team that would inspire the high school and college kids with gospel music before the message. We would then give the salvation message and we would see students making commitments to the saving knowledge of Christ. We saw college and high school girls crying, with mascara running down their faces, teachers gratefully thanking us, as the Holy Spirit moved among the students. In one college alone, we saw several hundred students make a commitment to Jesus.

We had a Christian family with barely any money invite the entire team over to share in God's fellowship and to enjoy the best meal that we had in Russia. It amazed me that this person gave out of his poverty, while we in America still struggle to give out of our abundance.

I came up with this crazy idea to go out at midnight to give out Bibles in a train station where 400 people were milling around, and our director said in his best English, "NO, don't go there, there are gangsters there." Yet I sensed strongly in my spirit that God wanted to reach these people, and God blessed it as we gave out several hundred Bibles to even "Russian gangsters" who accepted the Bibles with gratitude. We even went back to the same station at 6 A.M. the next morning.

The night service was a demonstration of God's power in music and teaching, as, in obedience to Him, we didn't go in our own power or ability, but in His Spirit. The worship leader, Audrey, learned 5 Russian songs (it had to be God's anointing because I couldn't even get her to say thank-you in Russian before the trip), and she led the people in worship with the team.  This is the first time I had ever seen Russian people standing up and worshiping, tears streaming down their eyes as they sang praise to God. I sensed the presence of God in such a powerful way that I had goose-bumps as I saw the bondage of oppression being lifted as they sang praises to God.

The night services were not just evangelism messages, but teachings of being under the Lordship of Jesus, and we witnessed God change the countenance of people throughout the week as they reflected the radiance of Christ. Sophie had earlier services teaching the women about prayer. We would include the Christians of Tula in the services, as we had testimonies, children reciting verses, and local pastors inviting people to their churches.

The final night was a message on spiritual warfare, and how God now wants the people of Tula to go out and preach the Good News of Jesus Christ to their family, friends and neighbors. The service was special, and from the opening of the service to the closing, people were weeping throughout the service. The final prayer was when the whole assembly prayed for God to reclaim the ground that Satan captured, and to reclaim their spirits, their minds and their bodies, and to reclaim Tula, and Russia, for Christ. His Kingdom and Glory were advanced in Tula, Russia, with His Power and His Spirit. 

When this team of eleven ordinary people gets to heaven, we will be able to rejoice with our dear brothers and sisters from Tula, Russia, that accepted the free gift of Salvation in Christ Jesus.  "But thanks be to God, who always leads us in His triumph in Christ, and manifests through us the sweet aroma of the knowledge of Him in every place" (2 Corinthians 2:14).
 
To the team of Cheryl & Sandra Gloss, Amy Lampiguera, Audrey Maas, Vera Miele, Christina Mood, Robert Scarpati, Steve & Sophie Schmalz, and Nunzio Statella, my precious brothers and sisters in Christ. I love you all dearly, and I was truly blessed by the team. May God let you never forget what you experienced in Tula. Let's all do it again soon!


Joseph Nigro is an associate editor for MORNING STAR and may be reached via Internet Email at: straitpath@aol.com.
Prison Ministry
Prison Ministry
FORMER DROPOUT NOW REACHES TROUBLED KIDS

Tom Fleming was a high school dropout who couldn't read or write. He never knew his father and saw his mother only twice while growing up. His grandparents raised him in a house they shared with 14 other people. He ran with a tough crowd in the Detroit inner city and did a stint in reform school. It was 1950, and Tom Fleming didn't have much going for him.

But more than 40 years later the president of the United States honored him as the 1992 National Teacher of the Year. Standing in the Rose Garden by the White House, Fleming heard President George Bush call him "a hero, a man of great strength, courage and heart." He was chosen for the honor from more than 2.5 million elementary and secondary public school teachers in the U.S.

Fleming describes himself as a "special-ed kid who is now a special-ed-teacher." For more than 20 years he has taught troubled teens at the Washtenaw County Juvenile Detention Center in Ann Arbor, Michigan. He teaches government, geography and history to 12 to 16 year-olds. His students have been arrested for anything from shoplifting to sexual assault, and they are waiting for their cases to move through the court system. 


Intense and personal 

Fleming's teaching style is intense and personal. "I cannot teach you if you don't want to learn," he tells his students. "You made some bad choices, and so you're here. You're young; you can change your mind." Fleming knows, because he did it himself.

Discouraged because he couldn't cope with school or find a job, the young Fleming joined the National Guard. He became a member of an all-black combat engineers unit. When the unit was activated to prepare or going overseas, he left high school. Later he served with the occupation troops in Europe in the early 1950s.

As a soldier in a strange country, Fleming felt alone and uneasy. He remembers hearing, "When you feel down, read the Bible." He tried, but he didn't have the skill to read his government-issued New Testament.

"God found a grease mechanic in a motorpool to help me," the tall, gray-haired teacher recalls. "With all my nervousness and sense of mistrust, he helped me read the book of Mark. It revolutionized my life." Fleming still reads the Bible daily. "Each day I get up and haven't read scriptures, I feel like I haven't had breakfast," he says.

He recalls clearly the moment when he turned his life over to God. One November night in 1954 he and another soldier, David, were on guard duty. They talked about Christianity. "In that guard shack, on that greasy floor, we both got on our knees, and I made a profession of faith. I walked out of the guard shack knowing life would be forever different."


New life not easy

Living out his new Christian life wasn't easy. I'd kneel by my bed at night and pray," he recalls. "The other guys in the barracks who used to be my drinking buddies would yell and throw their big combat boots at me. But I kept praying, and they saw a change in me. Finally, a couple of these guys asked me to pray with them, and they became Christians."

When he was discharged from the Army, Fleming recognized his need for more education. "The sole reason I went to night school was to learn to read the Bible," he explains. 

He earned a high school equivalency diploma. Then he went on to earn a bachelor's degree. Later he received a master of arts degree in regular and special education from Eastern Michigan University. 

During this time, he worked with youth in Detroit's northwest neighborhoods through a Baptist church. That experience led to his interest in adolescents with special needs.

His first teaching job was at the W.J. Maxey Boys Training School, a state institution for juvenile offenders. He moved to the Washtenaw County juvenile detention school program in 1971.


He offers hope

More than anything, Fleming tries to offer his students hope. Self-esteem, he says, is "just a word" until a person experiences it. Good feelings of self-esteem come when you start mastering something and experiencing some success. 

He sees kids who come in at age 10 or 11 and are stealing, skipping school and breaking curfew. Unless that youngster begins to experience some real self-esteem, Fleming says, his crime level "kicks up" to stealing cars and getting into drugs. Self-esteem then comes in ''pseudo-forms,'' such as using illegally-gained dollars to buy expensive shoes and silk shirts.

The answer, says soft-spoken Fleming, is "to get the message of morality through the heart to the head." He encourages his students to respect their parents. He teaches them to handle anger and self-gratification in healthy ways. "If you don't," he warns, "you'll go back to school and cuss out a teacher. You'll return here or worse.

"Fleming has experimented to find a teaching style that works. He tried for a year to conduct a volunteer Bible Study with troubled youth at another nearby institution.

"Using a notebook just wouldn't work," he says. So he tried a different approach with the 10 boys.  He gave them copies of the Good News Bible.  They looked up the Old Testament stories of David and Bathsheba and Delilah.

Using the Bible stories, the group discussed issues such as justice, how to treat a lady, and the importance of living life with only one woman. "It is illegal and immoral to have more than one, "Fleming taught them. "Kids are so confused about what's right and wrong in the area of sexuality," he adds.

Sometimes he's discouraged that he hasn't had more outstanding successes. One former student who has made good is A. Whitney Brown, a performer for the television show "Saturday Night Live." Brown appeared with Fleming at the White House award presentation. 

"He changed my life," said Brown. "He did it by shoveling books at me, by treating me like a human being. I was locked up in juvenile hall; I was a criminal. He told me you don't have to be that. "Brown, an Emmy nominee, dedicated his 1989 book, The Big Picture, to Fleming and another teacher at the training center.


Learning styles differ

Fleming knows all people don't learn in the same way. "We don't all read books," he says, recalling his own experience of going through eight grades without learning to read. "I was a visual and auditory learner."

So he often uses props in his teaching to snag the interest of un-motivated students. Statues. Current news magazines. Little figurines of the California Raisins. Videos. He had the school's shop teacher make a podium so his students could do oral readings. Fleming believes in the potential of every young person, no matter how troubled.

Married to a former third grade teacher, Fleming is the father of three children. As National Teacher of the Year, he spent this past year traveling and speaking before many educational and community groups and civic organizations. He is active at First Baptist Church of Ann Arbor as associate minister.

Fleming reminds educators that caring teachers can build trust and awaken hope in youngsters. But not alone. Even the best teachers, he says, cannot be effective without the partnership of parents and other caring adults in the community. Tom Fleming's own life says it best. Better things are possible. 


From INSIDE JOURNAL, a publication of Prison Fellowship
P.O. Box 16429
Washington, DC
20041-6429
Music
Music
NEW TWISTS ON OLD HYMNS

By Deb Vaughn
Hyattsville, Maryland


One of the greatest dilemmas for any worship planner is finding service music that is appropriate for three integral areas of worship planning: the liturgical season, the sermon focus and the congregation (also called "target audience") who will be at the worship service.  Any one of the above is enough to deplete the resources of a music director, let alone the challenge of meeting all three criteria on a given Sunday. So, you settle in the dull routine of finding some new praise chorus about grace, or a soloist who can sing from Messiah.   But it doesn't have to be this way!

"Make new friends, but keep the old. One is silver and the other gold..." The words of this familiar Girl Scout camp song wandered through my thoughts last week as I began preparing a list of possible Lenten music for use in my church. Even though some of these hymns are only dusted off for use once a year, their luster begins to fade, and the words are not as striking as they once were. I begin to wonder if there's a way to "jazz up" these old hymns. Surely there's "better" music out there! Maybe a funk bass on "Up From the Grave He Arose" this year . . . and then suddenly I realize I've again been infected with the malady known as "HYMNOSIS"!

"HYMNOSIS" is not fatal, in fact, knowing you are susceptible to it, or perhaps just a "carrier" is the first step in the cure. I'd like to offer some "preventive medicine" as well as a "spiritual fitness regimen" to keep your heart and mind focused on the ultimate goal of worship planning: to help your local Body of believers experience the presence of God, and to magnify, glorify and praise Him. The wise use of hymns in worship is definitely a part of this.

PREVENTIVE MEDICINE: These simple steps help set healthy parameters for your work in worship planning and leadership.

1. Know and agree with the philosophy of worship of your senior pastor. (Who are you leading? Who are you trying to reach with the Gospel? How long should the service be? How much music/silence/solos are preferred?) If you don't know, get clarification! From my own personal experience, I can assure you that painful consequences will follow if you are not operating in consort with your church leadership.  

2. Accept your responsibility before God to lead His people in worship. Know what their homogenous needs and expectations are. (This is sometimes called the "greatest common denominator".)  Stretch their hearts to worship beyond the old and comfortable routine without antagonizing or belittling their fixation on it.  

3. Utilize the gifts God has given to His people in your church.  Exhort those gifted to use their gifts.  

4. FINALLY: remember that for each time you or your musicians lead a song, you have probably practiced it ten times to the one time your congregation hears it. You may be very tired of it indeed, but God can breathe new life into your heart as you sing it with or for them.  Just ask Him!

Contemporary Christian music offers old favorite hymns which have been set to new music.  It is delightful to see these "old faves" rejuvenated with a contemporary composer's fresh heart and eyes.  This is especially important for today's churches which seek to keep the richness of a hymn's theological content, but desire to better reach a new generation of Christians with more up-to-date music. The often-heard criticism of contemporary Christian music is that it is "mindless" or "overly simplistic" in the lyrical content and harmonization.  But these "re-writes" offer us a depth of expression that fills this void, and would work nicely as offertories or special music in any church setting.

I have been involved with churches across the spectrum of orthodox Christianity to seeker-focused, with many graduations in between.  Many times in an attempt to capture "true worship" a church will decide to exclusively use only one style of worship music. In a seeker-sensitive church's quest to be relevant, there is reluctance to use hymns, as they might give the impression of a faith that is old-fashioned or cold and lifeless. Yet, the lyrics of hymns are alive with the Spirit of Christ, and many times contain paraphrases of the Bible - powerful stuff!  A more orthodox congregation veers away from anything which sounds contemporary on the grounds that it is too secular-sounding and thus not acceptable. I would suggest that a fresh arrangement of the overly familiar hymn brings "a new heart and a new spirit" and may soften the unbelieving Baby Boomer who has returned to church seeking God again. Both extremes seem to be throwing the baby out with the bath water if they insist on clinging to an immovable position!

While hymn arrangements are nothing new, the contemporary outlook of current Christian artists offers fresh new looks. For example, OUR HYMNS, a compilation of traditional hymns from WORD Music, offers a variety of styles in its 10 different selections. Each is arranged with the vocal or instrumental strengths of the artists in mind, and can be used effectively in a worship setting. While you may not have a Phil Keaggy in your church, you might have a high school ensemble that would enjoy praising God through this new arrangement of "O God Our Help in Ages Past", complete with guitars and keyboard.  

For those of you who rebel rather than revel at hearing hymns with a rock beat, there are a multitude of arrangements available for your congregation's preference, too. Here are three examples of Christian artists that have offered anointed, new arrangements of hymns:

Ken Medema: Jesus, Lover of My Soul (Word Music - solo and SATB)  Re-written with flowing lines in a major key, you will sense God's love in a new way.

Cynthia Clawson:  Softly and Tenderly Jesus is Calling (Word Music - solo) Though this is not a new tune from her (over 15 years old!), it is one of the most poignant and yearning arrangements I have ever heard.  It can be accompanied on guitar or piano.\

Twila Paris: Arise, My Soul, Arise (Star Song - solo)  Pure rejoicing and celebrating in the God who is our salvation.  

Spiritual fitness regimen: Before you can "tune your heart to sing His praise" you first have to realistically assess where you are and where God wants you to be.

1. Expect spiritual warfare; working together towards common goals for the Kingdom's sake sets Satan on his ear and he will do his best to thwart it. Where are your struggles right now as a leader (personally) and as a church (relationally)?  

2. Accept criticism with an eye to improving how you serve God and your congregation. However, do not bend to every whim and suggestion either. Ask God for discernment, for direction and above all for wisdom. You will not please everyone, and it is best to focus on pleasing GOD!

3. Are you in a rut in your planning?  Ask God to show you new ways to praise Him. Must there always be an anthem and an offertory? Must there always be a choral benediction? Must you always use a rock band or could you just use a piano?  Couldn't you have worship one week without the use of your overhead/hymnal/microphone/
guitar/piano/organ? (pick one)

4. Consider recruiting co-workers who can eventually lead worship services.  Who are others that God is calling to join you?  How can you better help them grow in Christ?  There may be someone whom God wants you to train and disciple so that His Kingdom can keep growing.

5. Look on all of your worship as a rehearsal for heaven. We have only the time God gives us! We can not understand all God is, but we can begin to learn as we praise Him. Don't allow anything to replace God - - not the form or content of your worship services, not the performance of your band/choir. God, and God alone is the focus of our worship and the reason why we live.


Deb Vaughn has been involved in various church music ministries as soloist, pianist, choir member and music director for the last 16 years. Currently she serves as a member of her church's Worship Commission, assisting in planning various aspects of the worship services. She holds two degrees in music from the Ohio State University and the University of Miami. Her life verses are Psalm 40:1-3.  E-Mail is welcome via Internet to DebV@aol.com.
Chef's Corner
Chef's Corner
FOR CHOCOLATE LOVERS EVERYWHERE! These are tempting recipes even to those who have just a little craving for chocolate.


MOLLY'S CHOCOLATE POWDERED SUGAR COOKIES: Cream together 3/4 cup shortening, and 1 1/4 cups granulated sugar. Add 2 eggs, 1/4 cup canned milk and 1 teaspoon vanilla. Combine 1/2 cup cocoa with 3/4 cup boiling water. Add 2 3/4 cups flour and 4 teaspoons baking powder. Dip by teaspoons into powdered sugar before baking. Bake at 350 degrees Fahrenheit for 12 to 15 minutes.

For ORANGE-LEMON COOKIES using the above recipe, eliminate cocoa, water, vanilla, and milk. Add juice from 1 orange, 1 lemon, and rinds from each and a 1/4 teaspoon orange extract if desired.


CHOCOLATE-MOUSSE ROLL: First make the mousse filling. In top of double boiler melt 1 1/2 cups semisweet chocolate pieces and 1/3 cup sugar in 1/4 cup water. Stir until smooth. Remove from heat and cool. Stir from time to time. Beat 5 egg yolks until thick and lemon-colored. Add to chocolate with 2 teaspoons vanilla. Beat 5 egg whites until they hold a peak. Add to chocolate mixture. Beat with a rotary beater just to incorporate all the whites. Chill to spreading consistency in the refrigerator - 3 to 4 hours.

FOR THE ROLL: Sift together three times 6 tablespoons each cake flour and cocoa; 1/4 teaspoon salt, and 3/4 teaspoon baking powder. Beat 4 egg whites until they form soft peaks. Fold in 3/4 cup sugar, a tablespoon at a time. Beat 4 egg yolks until very thick. Add 1 teaspoon vanilla. Fold in the meringue. Next, fold in dry ingredients. Grease a shallow jelly-roll pan, 10"x15"x1/2". Line with greased waxed paper. Spread batter evenly; bake in a hot oven, 400 degrees Fahrenheit, 13 minutes. Turn out on towel sprinkled with confectioners' sugar. Quickly cut off crisp edges of the cake. Roll up. Cool on rack. Unroll and spread with mousse. Roll up again. Chill several hours or overnight.


HOME-MADE CHOCOLATE PUDDING: In the top of a double boiler over hot water melt 1/2 pound sweet, bittersweet or semisweet chocolate with 1/4 cup hot water. When the chocolate is melted, add 1 cup heavy cream gradually and mix well. Heat a few minutes while you separate 5 eggs. Beat the yolks until thick and stir into the chocolate mixture. Cook until the mixture thickens. Remove from the hot water. Beat the whites until they just barely hold a peak - not so stiff as for pie meringue. Fold the egg whites into the chocolate mixture, return to hot water and stir until the mixture thickens again. Remove from the heat and add 2 tablespoons butter, 1 teaspoon vanilla, and pinch of salt. Mix well and pour into glass pudding dishes, or 1 larger serving bowl. Chill in the refrigerator 4 to 5 hours or overnight until set and cold.


CHOCOLATE FUDGE: Put two 3 oz. packages cream cheese in bowl and let warm to room temperature. When cheese is warm, start adding 1/2 pound confectioner's sugar gradually. Each time sugar is added, stir the mixture thoroughly before adding more. Melt four 1 oz. squares unsweetened chocolate in top of a double boiler. Add to cheese mixture. Now add another 1/2 pound confectioner's sugar gradually. Stir in 1/2 teaspoon vanilla and 2/3 cup chopped nuts. Grease a pan 9"x9"x2" or 8"x8"x2" with a pat of butter, using wax paper to spread the butter over inside of pan. Spread fudge evenly. Chill 2 hours.


VIVIAN'S PEANUT BUTTER BROWNIES: Cream together 1/2 cup shortening and 1 1/2 cups sugar, 1/2 cup peanut butter, 3 eggs and 1 teaspoon vanilla. Combine 1 cup flour, 1/2 teaspoon baking powder, and 1/2 teaspoon salt and add to the creamed mixture and mix 'til smooth. Stir in 1 cup (6 oz.) chocolate chips and 1 cup chopped cocktail peanuts or walnuts. Spread in well-greased 9"x13" pan. Bake at 350 degrees Fahrenheit for 30-35 minutes. Cut into bars while warm. Cool in pan.


DEE'S CHOCOLATE CAKE:  Sift 3 cups all-purpose flour, 2 cups sugar, 1 teaspoon salt, 1 teaspoon baking powder, and 2 teaspoon baking soda into a bowl.  Add 2/3 cup shortening (margarine), and 2 cups buttermilk or sour milk. Beat 2 minutes with electric mixer. Add 3 eggs and 3 squares melted chocolate. (3/4 cup cocoa and hot black coffee enough to moisten can be substituted for the chocolate.) Beat 2 more minutes. Pour into 2 well-greased and lightly floured 9" pans. Bake in moderate oven 350 degrees Fahrenheit for 35 to 40 minutes. Allow cake to stand in pan for 5 minutes before turning out. Cool on racks. 
Optional: Slice each layer to make 4 layers or make sheet cake. Bake longer if sheet cake.

DOROTHY'S BEST ICING: Cream well, 2 1/2 cups shortening, 1/2 teaspoon salt, 2 pounds sifted confectioner's sugar. Add 1/2 cup milk, and 2 teaspoons vanilla. Mix well then add 1/4 cup egg whites (2 large or 3 small eggs). Beat until smooth.


CAROLE'S CLOUD NINE ICING: Combine 1 egg white, 1 cup sugar, 1/2 cup boiling water, and 1/4 teaspoon cream tartar. Beat for 10 minutes.


MY FAVORITE BUTTER CREAM FROSTING: Into 3 heaping tablespoons flour, blend 1 cup milk. Cook to thick paste, stirring constantly. Cool.
Cream 1 stick margarine plus 1 heaping tablespoon butter. Add the paste and cream again. Add 1 very full cup sugar slowly and 1/4 teaspoon salt. Add 1 teaspoon vanilla. Beat until fluffy.

To make a CHOCOLATE CREAM FROSTING for the above, add the 1 cup sugar slowly mixed with 4 or 5 tablespoons cocoa (3 tablespoons cocoa equals 1 square of chocolate) and 1 teaspoon vanilla.


PAT'S CHOCOLATE CAKE: Cream together 1/2 cup shortening, 1 1/2 cup granulated sugar and 2 eggs. Add to creamed mixture, 1 ounce red cake coloring mixed with 2 tablespoons cocoa. Add 2 1/4 cups flour, 1 scant teaspoon salt, 1 cup buttermilk, and 1 teaspoon vanilla. Mix 1 tablespoon vinegar with 1 teaspoon baking soda - fold into batter ( do not beat). Bake at 350 degrees Fahrenheit for 30 minutes, if cake is in two 9" layer pans; or 45 minutes for a sheet cake. 
Optional: cut layers in half and ice or fill with pudding mixed with bananas. 


ELEGANT CHOCOLATE CAKE: Sift together into mixing bowl, 2 cups cake flour, 1 3/4 cups sugar, 3/4 cup cocoa, 1 1/4 teaspoon baking soda, 1/2 teaspoon double acting baking powder, and 1 teaspoon salt. Add 3/4 cup soft shortening, 3/4 cup milk, and 1 teaspoon vanilla.  Beat for 2 1/2 minutes at medium speed. Add 1/2 cup milk and 3 unbeaten eggs. Beat 2 1/2 minutes longer. Pour into two 9" layer pans and bake at 350 degrees Fahrenheit for about 35 minutes.


DUSKY CHOCOLATE CAKE: Cream 1/2 cup shortening and add 1 pound sifted brown sugar. Beat in 2 eggs. Add 1 teaspoon vanilla. Sift 2 1/2 cups cake flour, 1 teaspoon baking soda, 1/2 teaspoon salt and add to sugar mixture alternately with 1 cup sour milk and beat until smooth. Dissolve 1/4 cup cocoa in 1/2 boiling water and beat in batter. Pour into pans, and bake at 375 degrees Fahrenheit for 30 minutes.
Potpourri
Potpourri
"Kingdom on the Hill"

By Gene Ilten
Nevada City, California  


I see a Kingdom, 
High on a hill.
A place of no sorrow,
Where my heart can be still.

I see a place, 
Where tears are no longer shed.
And I come there, 
Because my Savior bled.

There is a palace,
High up on this hill.
Where the perfect King dwells,
In eternity still.

Who is this King?
Who is He?
With nail scars on His hands?
The blood on His side?
Making a red band.

He is Jesus,
Clothed in Majesty on High.
King of Kings, Lord of Lords,
Precious Lamb slain.
Resurrected Living One.
It's to Him we came.

He drew us with His steadfast love,
That paid the price of sin.
It's because of what He did,
That we may come within.

He said "You have believed in Me."
My blood has paid your way.
This is your home now, 
With Me you will always stay.


"MY LORD"

By Gene Ilten
Nevada City, California  

Oh my Lord,
As I pass through the trials of my life,
I am tossed like the raging sea.
I cry out in my pain.
I feel I can bear it no longer,
But then I think of you, Lord.
How grieved you were, 
When one of your chosen betrayed you,
And one denied you.
How the people scoffed at you and spit on you.
How they beat you and hurt you,
And you bore it for me.
They placed a crown of thorns on your head.
The blood trickled down your face,
You carried a heavy cross up the hill for me.
The pain you felt as the nails pierced your flesh.
The anguish you felt for us when you said,
"Father forgive them, they don't know what they do."
The loneliness you felt when first your people,
Then your Father turned away from you.
And you died there for me.
You washed me there in your blood,
For my sins, not yours (for you had none) you died.
And then you rose, you rose that I would live.
I have life with you.
Thank you, Lord for giving me life.
And when I am hurt-
Make me mindful of your hurt.
When I am lonely-
Make me mindful of your loneliness on the cross.
When I am burdened-
Let me remember you bore the cross for me.
You died for me.
My heart shall sing your praises all the day!
For I was dead and you gave me life.
I was alone and you came into me and filled me.
I praise you Lord!
For I shall dwell with you and you with me.
And I shall never be sad or lonely ever again.
For you are always with me.
AMEN!
To Be Content
To Be Content
TO BE CONTENT

By Mike Wilkinson
 
 
"I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content  whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in  any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty, or in want. I can do everything through Him who gives me strength" (Philippians 4:11-13).
 
Are you worried about the future? Are you worried about the past? Do you spend today's energy planning for tomorrow, or wishing you could change the past? Did you make the right decision? What about taxes, bills and the unknown? Is your house big enough, your car new enough?  Do your clothes make you look respectable? If you could change one thing about your life, how many others would you still be unhappy about?
 
The apostle Paul "learned to be content whatever the circumstances."  This may be a lost idea in our generation. In the 1990's, it is difficult to find people who are content with what they have.  "If money can't buy happiness, maybe credit cards can," seems to be the logic of the day.
 
People are also not content with who they are. Psychiatrists and counselors have busy practices these days, with so many people troubled by poor decisions they have made. There are cosmetic surgeons performing all types of operations to make people look better.
 
In some ways, we are like the children of Israel who were led out of Egypt by Moses.  They were unhappy in Egypt, yet they spent 40 years in the desert complaining about their new circumstances. The pharaoh chased them, they wanted the promised land, they wanted food, they wanted water, they hated manna, they were afraid to enter the Promised Land, they wanted a new leader, they wanted a new god, and they wanted to go back to Egypt.
 
The problem is that we forget that all things we own, and our circumstances in life, and all that we have and all that we are comes from the Lord. "The Lord sends poverty and wealth; He humbles and He exalts" (1 Samuel 2:7). Sure, each of us has a will, and to some extent our life's course is set by our actions and the actions of others.  But God is still the final authority on what circumstances we face.
 
Paul learned to be content within his circumstances whether good or bad.  He knew that the important thing was to keep his focus on the Master of his destiny, not the poverty or the wealth. In verse 13, Paul states that, "I can do everything through Him who gives me strength." This verse is often quoted, but seldom analyzed in context. Verses 10 through 12 and 14 through 19 refer mostly to financial matters.  So why does Paul mention the issue of God strengthening him?  I think that there are three possible explanations:
 
1.  Paul suffered from many physical infirmities (see Acts 14:19, 2 Corinthians 11:25-25, 12:7-10). It may be that he was telling the Philippians that just as God was caring for Paul's physical weaknesses, so He would also meet Paul's other needs.
 
2. Paul worked to support himself and others. "Now I commit you to God and to the word of His grace, which can build you up and give you an inheritance among all those who are sanctified. I have not coveted anyone's silver or gold or clothing. You yourselves know that these hands of mine have supplied my own needs and the needs of my companions.  In everything I did, I showed you that by this kind of hard work we must help the weak, remembering the words the Lord Jesus himself said: 'It is more blessed to give than to receive'" (Acts 20:32-35). It may be that Paul was saying that God was providing him strength to keep working to provide what he could provide to keep the ministry going and be a testimony to those around him. Although it is not strictly true that 'The Lord helps those who help themselves,' (not found in scripture) God does give most people the ability to work to help themselves and sometimes others as well. Paul must have depended upon the Lord for strength to minister as well as earn enough to meet all those needs.
 
3. Paul may have been referring to spiritual strength. This would help him to endure times of poverty and hunger when it otherwise might have seemed like he labored in vain.  Also, spiritual strength would help him not depend upon earthly riches when he had plenty.  "Whoever trusts in riches will fall, but the righteous will thrive like a green leaf." (Proverbs 11:28)
 
So the reference to strength may be any or all of these. Yet all three ideas point to the fact that God is our provider, and the guardian of our condition.  How can we not be content with what we have when He has provided it?
 
Although there is nothing wrong with being rich, and poverty is not a sign of God's displeasure, God wants us to be content with what we have so we will not devote our lives to things less important than godliness. 

"Now godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into this world, and it is certain we can carry nothing out. And having food and clothing, with these we shall be content. But those who desire to be rich fall into temptation and a snare, and into many foolish and harmful lusts which drown men in destruction and perdition. For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil, for which some have strayed from the faith in their greediness, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows. But you, O man of God, flee these things and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, patience, gentleness." (1 Timothy 6:6-11)
 
Therefore, let us be content with what we have, and what God has made us to be.  Only trust in God and remain faithful.  Let Him care for you.

Departments
Staff List
Staff List
MORNING STAR
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Phone: 603-883-4624 - Fax: 603-883-0466


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Editor's Letter
Editor's Letter
A SPECIAL NOTE FROM THE STAFF TO THOSE OF YOU READING ANY COMPUTER EDITION OF THIS MAGAZINE:

Each month we publish 1000 hard copies of MORNING STAR for people who are not as fortunate as us and don't have computers. Included in this free mailing are 150 prison chaplains who share it with inmates. We also send it to missionaries overseas. 

We need your help if we are going to keep doing this.

As you are getting your computer edition for free or at very little cost to you, would you consider sending a small donation to help us continue the hard copy? (Consider it a shareware donation of sorts) $20 will pay for 2 people to get the magazine for a year. Every little bit helps. If you can do this, make the check out to our hard copy publisher David's Mighty Men and mail it to:

David's Mighty Men, Inc.
PO Box 5093
Beaumont, TX 77726

Thank you!

------------------------------

Greetings in the name of the Lord and welcome to our April, 1994 issue of MORNING STAR. Our Feature area theme this month concerns the subject of hope for the homosexual. This is an issue we dealt with in our early days of publication (Volume 1.3, December 1991) and felt it important to address once again. You will find material on this topic throughout the magazine - in fact there are a total of 17 theme-related testimonies, articles and advertisements in this issue. 

There are many people struggling with homosexuality, including Christians, and it is our hope that this issue of MORNING STAR is a blessing and a help to them and also to those who are involved in this area of ministry work. We would especially like to thank the ministry of Exodus International in San Rafael, California, for supplying much of the information for this issue.

Of course, we have the usual awesome collection of Bible Studies and other columns! This month's New Testament Study begins a series on the seven churches in the book of Revelation. The first of a two-part article on living the Christian life starts in the New in Christ column. Pastor Geoff Kragen's series on communication in marriage continues in the WORD For Today, along with part two in The Roots Of Our Faith study from Pastor Chuck Cohen of Jerusalem. 

We are always looking for material for future issues of MORNING STAR. Would you consider submitting your personal testimony or an article on education, music or mission work for publication in one of those columns? 

We also need stories and articles for our upcoming Feature themes:

July: Witnessing
August: Bible Study
September: Praise, Prayer & Worship
October: Aberrant Doctrine
November: Walking the Christian Walk (Families, singles, couples & seniors)

All documents should be 1000-1500 words in length and must be received at least two months ahead of the issue month. (i.e. material for the July "Witnessing" issue should be submitted by May 1st) You can send your document to our Post Office box or submit it via electronic Email or fax it in!

In His service,

Toby Trudel
People Profile
People Profile
MORNING STAR editor, Pastor Geoffrey Kragen, conducted this interview with Bob Davies, executive director of Exodus International-North America. Bob has also been on staff with Love in Action (San Rafael, CA) since 1979. He has written free-lance articles on homosexuality and AIDS for such national religious periodicals as "Focus on the Family," "Moody," and "The Pentecostal Evangel." He is the co-author of "Coming Out of Homosexuality," currently in release from InterVarsity Press. (See the Book Review in this issue.)


Geoff:  Why don't we start by you telling us a little bit about yourself and your own role with Exodus International.

Bob:  I grew up in Canada. I grew up in a Christian home. About the age of thirteen I realized I was attracted to other men. I had a really interesting reaction to that, I was horrified. I determined that I would never tell anybody. I kept that promise for about the next ten years.

I've been here (Exodus/Love in Action) about fourteen years and I've heard the stories of hundreds of men and women. A lot of the guys who come through here, the vast majority,  I see that there has been a real lack of bonding with the same sex parent. That sounds very simplistic . . . I'm very careful when I talking to the media because I don't want to sound simplistic . . . but this can be a primary thing that begins to set up that person. 

And what happened to me was typical too in that during the primary school years I did not have any kind of male bonding experience with other boys. I was the one that was rejected on the playground, the one who was called all the names. And that to me was a very alienating thing so I basically abandoned the boys and went over and played with the girls. And so I just decided those girls were my friends.

And then when I hit the puberty years I began reacting emotionally on a sex with men level. The guys that were sort of out there and I had identified with, they were the objects of my sexual attractions.

So I went through the teen years being very isolated. I gradually drifted away from the church. I thought ... and I feel this is something I see lots of people struggling with that come through this ministry, they have the Christian foundation and they also have these sexual feelings and they have no idea how they interrelate. I stumbled through a lot of years of my life and didn't have any idea how God  was going to ... I kept praying that He would take this away. But, the feelings continued and I had no idea what to do about it.

And another typical pattern that I've seen in my own life as well as others  is this isolation. And they're scared to share with anybody and that just continues  the problem. I think that the ultimate solution is to get what is in the darkness out into the light which is the general biblical principle. Bring it out into the light and start dealing with it. God can really help us to overcome it.

Briefly, I was pretty sheltered. It wasn't until I was nineteen and in college that I discovered that there were other men out there that had these same feelings. There is a very large gay population in Vancouver. And I started hearing about it. This is back in the 70's when things were still pretty quiet. People were not necessarily marching down the street. . . . In college I did begin to hear about the gay community and struggled with curiosity. But as a Christian at least God had His hand on my life. And, I was a pretty timid guy. And so I didn't have the confidence to actually go into a lot of it. And so that's where my testimony begins to diverge from the vast majority of the people. And it's that I never acted on these Homosexual feelings. Most of the people that come through here have and have actually gone into the Gay life.

But this ministry still has been a real help to me as I believe that homosexuality is just a surface symptom of deeper root issues. And so all those root issues were still in my life, just like they are with everybody else here. That was kind of a major revelation to me when I came down here. I heard about the ministry. I was reading all the Christian books I could find on Homosexuality trying to understand the problem. I came to the point in my life where I realized unless I really got specialized help I probably would be dealing with this in secret the rest of my life. And I realized that this wasn't what I wanted.

So I contacted Love In Action (a ministry located with Exodus International in the San Francisco Bay Area, ed.). I moved down here in June of 1979. They have a live in residential program here. People come in from all over the country, all over the world. They come for a period of one year to get intense discipleship. And I knew that's what I needed. I really wanted, I craved being able to get help from somebody who knew what they were talking about because I had gone to a couple of pastors for help. They really didn't know. They were very nice. They were very kind. But, they had no clue.

All these experiences have colored the way I perceive the issue and the burden I have for the church to be able to get involved in doing something.


Geoff:  Currently the American Psychiatric Association is saying that Homosexuality is not a problem. It is appropriate for people to be this way. And there is no significant rebellion within the professional community contrary to the view. There isn't much talk about therapy to correct problems.

Bob:  I never went to a secular therapist, but I did go to pastors. But, also around that time, along with what was happening in the 70's there was a great deal of tumult in certain main-line denominations. They were haggling over whether it was sin or not, especially the ordination issue. It was big. It's funny how these things go in cycles. We're in it again.

Many books came out on the subject. Primarily for the purpose of giving the perspective that we should never even confront these people over the issue of homosexuality. Then things kind of quieted down during part of the 80's and now the cycle seems to be repeating itself.

And so I've been here fourteen years. I've been married for eight. When I first came here, I never, ever dreamed that I'd be married someday. I didn't think that far ahead. All I knew that Homosexuality was sin in terms of the behavior, and I needed help in staying out of that behavior. If I didn't get help I would probably end up in the Gay community. So that was my main motivation for coming here. 

And once I got here, God started showing me all kinds of stuff about my life that were the roots of this whole thing:  I had been isolated from other men for years; I had a very, very poor self-image in terms of my masculinity. So God started bringing restoration in those areas, primarily through healthy same sex bonding . . . But I think that this has been a real key for me and for a lot of the men, especially with our live in community here at Love in Action. There have been deep healthy interrelations among the men. And that's the first step. And I think beyond that, this kind of relating has to happen in the body of Christ as well, or else you kind of stagnate. You get to a certain point and then you . . . get into a certain point in your feeling and you stay there.  

As you look at these people, you see their whole social network consists of people who have overcome homosexuality.


Geoff:  They not main-streamed at that point.

Bob:  It's like being in the gay community. Now, they're in the ex-gay community and that's not healthy either. They have got to get beyond that, so that they are just brothers and sisters in Christ. 


Geoff:  This is similar to what I call the "support group junkie." It is a support group mentality and that's where they stay. It's not God's intent and it's not healthy. It is very self absorbed.

Bob:  They are very stagnated in their identity too. I sometimes compare these support groups with AA. In some ways it's a good parallel, and in some ways it's a difficult parallel. I usually use that with the secular media, because it is something they can grasp . . . We come out of homosexuality and we are helping other people. 

But where that breaks down . . . is in the area of identity. Typically AA maintains that alcoholic identity. For the person that is coming out of homosexuality, that is tremendously damaging if they hold on to that old identity. And that can be the problem if they get stuck in the sex game mind-set. They are continuing to define themselves in terms of who they used to be. And even in terms of their present temptations. Biblically, you have to move beyond that and realize that is not how we define ourselves as Christians. 


Geoff:  Paul points this out in Corinthians where he lists the sins they had been involved in and uses the past tense, "Such were some of you." In my own practice, which consists of over fifty percent adult victims of childhood sexual abuse, that a support group focusing on maintaining a victim mentality is not at all helpful.

Bob:  I'm jumping around here, but we estimate that over eighty-five percent of the women that come through these ministries have been victimized sexually as children. And also surprisingly, maybe fifty or sixty percent of the men. This is kind of a new revelation to me. I didn't get that part until two years ago. I was really surprised the numbers were that high.

Some people ask us what is the percentage of men and women that come through this ministry. We find typically there are a lot more men. I think that there are different reasons for that, but I think that one of them is the nature of the relationship. We find that with men very often it is turbulent and very short term. There is a lot of transition, a lot of loneliness, a lot of frustration. The AIDS issue is another thing that brings a lot of fear. The men kind of reevaluate:  "Is this really what I want to do?"


Geoff:  Moving on  . . . there has been a general recognition that the traditional view of ten percent of the population being homosexual is invalid. Instead the statistics show that probably no more than two percent are. This is being ignored because it doesn't support the political agenda of the gay community.

Bob:  They need the higher figure to legitimize their life-style. I find that it is interesting that even after the figure (10%) has been generally discredited, there are still people who are holding on to that, and trying to still promote that. It become very clear, in my opinion, that they are not very interested in the truth. They are interested in promoting themselves as a sizable minority of the population.


Geoff:  This is an attempt to appear "normal."

Bob:  Yes, and the more people they can get into their camp, the more normal they will seem.

I think, to step back a bit, most of the people that come to us are already Christians and they already know that this is not something that they want to pursue. So, I think to them whether it is one percent, or ten percent, or fifteen percent, doesn't really matter. What matters to people that are coming to us is the biblical perspective.

The way that I heard somebody else explain it, and I think that it is good, is to look at the whole gay community and realize that there are a majority of people who are basically not that interested in the gospel or in change. But, there is a minority who are very unhappy with their life-style, very dissatisfied. They may have grown up in a Christian home. They may have even made a commitment to the Lord before they got into that behavior. Those are the ones that will probably are going to be the first respond to our message:  "There is another option for you if you want it."

As I talk to people out there, say my dentist or whatever, they seem to be generally puzzled by the hostility of the gay community towards our position because in our society there is a "live and let live" mentality. To a certain extent, I'm in agreement with that. We are basically an apolitical organization. We don't get into the politics of the whole thing, but I know that for me I want the right to live peacefully in my society. I want the freedom to say what I believe is truth without being ridiculed and harassed, and so I'm willing to extend that same privilege to spokespeople for the gay community. However, I find that they are not always willing to extend that same freedom to me. I find it very ironic the some of the most outspoken people in the gay and lesbian community whose cry for years has been "tolerance" are not willing to extend that same tolerance to people who are moving away, in other words, ex-gays.


Geoff:  This is threatening to their power base.

Bob:  It's inborn this way and it cannot be changed. And as soon as we say otherwise they come down on us and try to silence us. In summary I don't know that the percentage figures have really impacted this community.


Geoff: Are you getting people who are having professional therapy?

Bob:  Most are getting care within the ministry. It's mostly self-help. The primary thrusts of most of the ministries are groups and boarding. The closest model I have seen is here at Love in Action. They have a whole program that they send people through. It is totally group-oriented, except within the residential program there is opportunity twenty-four hours a day for one-on-one accountability.


Geoff:  But that's more accountability and support than therapy?

Bob:  Right. 


Geoff:  Is there a regular model that you have for the group approach?

Bob:  No, all the ministries are different, and they are all independent so they can basically do what they want. One of the others that is very popular is "Living Waters" . . . That one is used literally around the world. They (the leaders of Living Waters) have just come back from a New Zealand trip where they are trying to get these groups started all across New Zealand. Now it has really caught on.

Love in Action has their own program here which is constantly being upgraded every year . . . They (gay ministries) are all doing different things and they all tend to borrow from each other.

As far as professional therapy, the thing that I've heard that is most common is that when somebody feels the need for that a lot of the ministries will have referrals around town. They will refer this person to a professional . . . They can get the one-on-one and come on Friday nights and be part of the group. So they get both.


Geoff:  I'd like to move on to talk about how the church fits into the care of the homosexual. First, let's talk about what the church's biggest weakness is.

Bob:  The biggest weakness I see ... is the confusion over the issue. The way I explain it is that all of us are constantly being bombarded by the media whether we realize it or not. We've all heard about all these studies that are coming out that supposedly prove that homosexuality is genetic and I find that people don't have a good background in this issue. So, any new information that comes along tends to throw them off track.

I think part of the problem too is the lack of solid biblical teaching in our churches on the issues of sexuality, homosexuality in particular. People are still afraid to deal with it forthrightly. I think that is where things have to change. If people are really going to get a solid grasp of the issue, they have to hear about it from the pulpit.


Geoff:  So, all we need is just some sound biblical teaching on sexuality?

Bob:  Right, in a broader context as well as well as the specifics so you can see where it fits in to the whole boarder scope of sexuality. And that's where we come in. I find that people are tremendously relieved when they have had even a brief conversation with us, hear our perspective and hear our stories. I sense that they have all along hoped and believed that this was true, that people can actually get out of this. But, a lot of them have said that:  "I have never heard of this type of ministry. Nor have I met anybody that claims to have come out of homosexuality." And so, they are left wondering. So I think it is imperative on us to get the message out to the church in a broader way then we have ever before.


Geoff:  What additional steps can the church take?

Bob:  The other thing I see in the church is that it has often adapted a secular mind-set as to how our culture views homosexuality:  the distaste, the hatred, the fear, all these kind of things that are easily labeled homophobia. I think that, like it or not, there are a lot of people in the church that are struggling with that on an emotional level. They have it in their head that these people need help, and should reach out to them, but at a heart - emotional level.


Geoff:  . . . "but not at my church . . ."

Bob:  Right.  I'm finding that denial is a lessor issue than it was fifteen years ago. We used to hear about it more. We used to talk to pastors who said:  "It's great what you're doing, but we certainly don't have that problem in our church." Now a days, I'm not hearing that so much anymore. There are a couple of reasons for that. I think that people are being more bold, coming forward when they need help. AIDS has basically blasted the closet open. And now we're hearing from churches in Kansas where they are dealing with AIDS. It gets them out of denial.


Geoff:  Do you think that AIDS is "constructive" in waking the church up?

Bob:  Exactly, it's blasted the whole issue wide open. 

Related to AIDS, people have asked:  "Has that increased the number of people coming to you?" We haven't really seen that it has been that significant. Especially in the Bay Area. Once people are into that life-style, especially in this geographical area, they aren't interested in change. They are basically committed to this life-style.

Getting back to this thing about the attitude of the church. I think that that's the greatest challenge that the church faces today. (providing adequate support for the AIDS victims) I believe that support and networking within the gay community is a Satanic substitute to what should be happening in the church. The kind of love that they get there, what they feel is unconditional love, they should be getting that support in the church. And until God is able to bring that kind of attitude into the church, I see that we are going to continue to struggle in terms of people not being drawn into the church and coming out of homosexuality.


Geoff:  Do you have anything that you would like to say in conclusion?

Bob:  There is the possibility for change. I want to say from my own life, it is one of the most difficult things you will ever do. It's not easy. It's not fast. It's not something that occurs over a period of weeks or months. But, in spite of the difficulty, how long it may take, I have to say that it's definitely worth every ounce of the struggle. I cannot imagine where I'd be today,  if I had gone into the gay community. I would probably have to say honestly, based on a lot of factors, I'd probably be either be sick or dead of AIDS. Instead I'm married. I look forward to many more years of happy marriage. And I can multiply that testimony by hundreds of other people that I know who are living lives that they never dreamed would be possible.

I know that it is difficult when you are weighing the possibility of getting out of the gay community. I think that the main thing our ministries wants to say is that it is possible. We are here. We are available. We'd love to talk to anybody that is interested in investigating more about our perspective.

Most of us were once part of the gay community, so we understand. We're not here to condemn anybody. We're not here to convince you that we're right and you're wrong. But we do want to make another option available to you if you're interested in pursuing it.


Geoff:  Thank you, Bob Davies.
Exodus 1994
Exodus 1994
EXODUS 1994
19th Annual North American Conference 
Colorado State University 

Ft. Collins, Colorado 
June 26 - July 2, 1994


At this point in history, our nation reels with the consequences of immorality; abortion and homosexuality are but two of many examples. We may feel the war for righteousness is lost. Opposition increases. Internal temptations batter our souls. Arms bearing up faith's shield grow weary. Some fighters fall to the wayside.

But we need to recall the truth that the ultimate victory belongs to Jesus Christ. As we pursue relationship with our Lord, we - the Church - will find His triumph in our lives. Then the beauty of wholeness and holiness wrought by His grace will spread the scent of God's victory.

Whether you need recuperation, encouragement, challenge or equipping - come! Be a part of what the Lord is doing to make His Church both holy and triumphant.


EXODUS INTERNATIONAL

Exodus International is a Christian networking organization founded in 1976. We exist to proclaim the Lord's desire and power to release people from homosexuality. Our associated ministries personalize this effort by offering support to individuals, friends and family members.

Exodus links ministries throughout the world. We provide support, communication and guidance for these outreaches. Exodus also offers training resources to individuals and groups interested in this redemptive ministry.


ABOUT THE CONFERENCE

EXODUS 1994 will equip pastors, counselors and other caring Christians to effectively minister to those troubled by homosexuality. Experienced teachers will provide insight into the dynamics of homosexuality and related sexual bondages. The conference also offers a setting for rich, informal fellowship.


OF GENERAL INTEREST

Allan, Pat		Exodus Debriefing (Life After Conference) 
Allan, Pat 		Reaching the Unchurched Homosexual 
Brunold, Patti		Dealing with Depression 
Carl, Regina		Beyond the Ex-Gay Plateau: What Comes after Abstinence? 
Consiglio, Bill		Markers of Progress: Ways to Measure Change 
Cortez, Linda		Uncovering Emotional Dependency 
Dallas, Joe		Answering the Pro-Gay Christian Movement 
Dallas, Joe		Defining the Process of Change 
Dallas, Joe		The Effects of Adolescence on Gender Identity 
Dunmire, Lari		Normal Christian Growth and the Recovery Process 
Dunmire, Vern		The Role of Atonement in the Recovery Process 
Fox, Earle		Men and Women in the Image of God 
Fox, Earle		Healing Sexual Addiction, Part I 
Fox, Earle		Healing Sexual Addiction, Part 2 
Hallett, Joseph		Sexual Falls: How Did I Get Here? 
Hallman, Janelle	Dare to Desire and Live with Longings 
Heathman, Mary	Same-Sex Ambivalence 
Hopkins, Donna Rene	Ever-Straights as Encouragers 
Milton, Howard	Biblical Stories which Facilitate Healing 
Newman, Michael	Exodus 101: Orientation for First-Timers 
Dolhof, Judy         	
Puls, Janine		Attachment & Separateness: Connection With Others & Self
Puls, Janine		Breaking Free from Self-Hatred The Emergence of the Cross
Sargent, Brad		"Alternative" Treatments for HIV/AIDS - Help or Harm?
Searcy, Bud		The Process of Change for the Homosexual 
Van Domelen, Bob	Pornography: When the Unreal Becomes Too Real


ESPECIALLY FOR WOMEN

Hastings, Mary Ann	Is Christ the Lord of Your Marriage? (for women only) 
Keel, Karen		Women for Women: Healthy Female Relating & Mentoring (for
			women only) 
Medinger, Willa		Restoring the Feminine Soul Worthen, 
Worthen, Anita		Survival Kit for Leaders' Wives (for women only)


ESPECIALLY FOR MEN

Bishop, Tony		Healthy Male-to-Male Relationships (for men only) 
Nicolosi, Joseph	Reparative Therapy of Male Homosexuality 
Ragan, Bob		Masturbation and Fantasy: Destruction of the True Self (for men only) 
Robicheau, Peter	Sports for Ex-Gay Men (for men only) 
Smid, John		Non-Sexual Relationships that Prevent Progress (for men only)


DATING, MARRIAGE & PARENTING 

Malloy, Mike		Pursuing Marital Maturity (for married men only)
Paulk, John		Dating: Building a Bridge to Wholeness


FAMILY ISSUES

Heathman, Mary	Family Influence on Human Sexuality 
Heathman, Mary	Parents Surviving the Recovery Process 
Smid, John		Someone I Know is Gay How Can I Help?


PERSONAL LEADERSHIP ISSUES

Dunmire, Vern		Anger ..Friend or Foe? (for leaders only) 
Consiglio, Bill		Tips on Teaching: Increasing Your Effectiveness 
Medinger, Alan		Integrity in Ministry 
Medinger, Alan		The Role of the Ministry Leader 
Paulk, John		How to Communicate with the Media 
Smid, John		Accountability 6 Preparation in Working with the Media 
Worthen, Anita		Sacrifice of Commitment


MINISTRY DEVELOPMENT

Allan, Pat		Forming a Ministry Board 
Allan, Pat		Strategies for Ministry Growth 
Allen, Starla		Developing a Women's Ministry 
Allen, Starla		Elements of Group Dynamics 
Dallas, Renee		Wives In Process: Guidelines for Ministry 
Hopkins, Donna Rene	Reaching Out to Adolescents: Effective Youth Ministry 
Malloy, Mike		Banquets: Raising Money for Ministry over Dinner
Searcy, Bud &		Reaching Mainline Churches (for leaders only)
Alan Medinger 			


COUNSELING SKILLS

Carvalho, Esly		Psychodrama in Recovery Ministries 
Dunmire, Lari		From Dissociation to MPD (for leaders only 
Hoffman, Jim		Psychodynamics of Sado-Masochism (for leaders only)
Killion, Dawn		Phone Counseling for Lesbianism 
Leach, Jerry		Effective Counseling for Transvestitism 
Milton, Howard		Handling Psychiatric Emergencies in Ministry (for leaders only)
Nicolosi, Joseph	Group Therapy Techniques 
Puls, Janine		Suicide: Awareness, Prevention and Intervention
Sargent, Brad		A Biblical Resolution to Sexual Deviations (for leaders only)		
Van Domelen, Bob &	Pedophilia: When the Abused Become Abusers
Howard Milton

Classes and speakers subject to change without notice.


KEYNOTE SPEAKER 

Robert McGee

"I genuinely care about people," says Robert McGee. "I want them to have an opportunity to be all that God wants them to be." Robert is an ordained minister and founder/president of RAPHA, Inc., a Christ-centered hospital treatment organization.

McGee has worked with such ministries as Campus Crusade. Athletes in Action, and Youth for Christ. Among his several books are "The Search for Significance" and "Father Hunger."

Robert, his wife Marilyn and their family make their home in Colorado Springs, Colorado.


SPECIAL SPEAKERS 

Dr. Dan Allender

Dr. Allender teaches in the Department of Biblical Counseling at Colorado Christian University in Morrison. He has written "The Wounded Heart" on overcoming sexual abuse - one of his specialization's. He has also co authored two books: "Bold Love" and "Encouragement: The Key To Caring."

Dr. Kathy Koch	

Dr. Koch (pronounced "Cook") has extensive experience in agency ad ministration and development. She serves on the board of directors for five diverse Christian organizations. Kathy speaks and writes as president of Celebrate Kids, a ministry which equips adults to help encourage children and teens.

Dr. Harry Schaumburg

Dr. Schaumburg is a licensed therapist specializing in sexual addiction. Harry currently works with Christian leaders on the problems of sexual 
misconduct and addiction. He is author of False Intimacy: Understanding the Smuggle of Sexual Addiction, and co-author of Renew: Hope for Victims of Sexual Abuse.


. . . thanks be to God, who always leads us in His triumph in Christ, and manifests through us the sweet aroma of the knowledge of Him in every place. For we are a fragrance of Christ to God among those who are being saved and among those who are perishing; to the one an aroma from death to death, to the other an aroma from life to life . . . II Corinthians 2:14-16


For more information contact:

EXODUS INTERNATIONAL
P.O. Box 2121
San Rafael, CA  94912
(415) 454-1017

Act now! Discount registration ends April 1, 1994. Regular registration ends June 1, 1994.
Ministry Focus
Ministry Focus
DO YOU HAVE THE RIGHT STUFF?
(To Love A Homosexual)

HIS Ministry

Carl Conli 
Sunrise Baptist Church
Fair Oaks, CA


"Perhaps you'd be better off at a different church."

A sledgehammer hit Eric's stomach. He wanted to run. He wanted to scream. He wanted to die. If only he hadn't revealed his deepest secret. But he thought it was safe to open up to his PASTOR. What now? Confusion. Despair. Defeat.

Eric is not unlike literally thousands of men and women in our churches who silently struggle with homosexual temptation. They are too ashamed to talk to anyone. They are afraid of rejection by people for whom they care. Shame, fear of exposure, and fear of a damaged reputation keep them in bondage. These men and women are single, married, in high school and college, grandparents, pillars in the church, blue collar, and professional. They are the people who sit next to you in church. They are people who for years have hidden the fact that they struggle. They are spiritually crippled Christians, emotionally isolated and preoccupied with their hurts. Satan has rendered them ineffective members of the God's Kingdom; and far too often the Church has abetted his plans.

So often it takes a crisis in the silent struggler's life before he/she is willing to reach out, even to a ministry especially for homosexual strugglers. Wouldn't it be so much better to begin dealing with this problem when people are young, say in high school or college? We need to foster an environment where people can feel comfortable to go to a pastor, elder, or youth leader to discuss such a personal concern.

The reasons Christian homosexual strugglers keep silent about their battle are universal. Because of the condemnation they hear from the pulpit, jokes repeated by Christians, offhand comments made by family or Church family which express anger, frustration or disgust at homosexuality, they vow to never, ever tell anyone about this problem. Unfortunately, what happens in too many cases is they ultimately find the acceptance they are looking for and the freedom to talk openly only in one place ... the gay community.

From pulpits across this country, Christians are called to hate the sin but love the sinner. But how can we love the sinner if we don't know him? We must remember God loves each and every homosexual, including both the militant and the closeted gays. He loves them every bit as much as He loves us. Jesus came that they might be saved as well. He provided the model that Christians easily forget: He walked, talked and ate with sinners. He met them where THEY were and built a bridge of love and respect before sharing the Good News. He ministered through relationship, and so must we. God's love is always demonstrated by action, and so must ours be.

Let us be careful, then, of what we say and how we say it. Let's not put people down.  Don't use jokes and don't classify sin, making one out to be worse than another. It is an important step for you and your church to eliminate offensive actions and words. It is a bold move for you or your church to reach out to people who struggle with homosexuality.


WHAT IS "HIS MINISTRY"?

HIS Ministry is a group of people who, in the name of Jesus Christ, reach out to men and women who struggle with homosexuality ... and to their friends and family members who are hurting and trying to understand, help and cope. We see homosexuality as bondage Satan uses to prevent Christians from experiencing the abundant life Jesus talks about in John 10:10:  "The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." We recognize that through Christ's strength we are freed from the bonds of sin. And through His strength men and women who struggle with homosexuality can be freed from those bonds. Why do we call it HIS Ministry ... because HE IS STRONG.

We do not want anyone to be confused about what we stand for. We stand for the Biblical standard God set down, that homosexuality is a sin. We also recognize there is Biblical evidence men and women were freed from that bondage of homosexuality during the first century. In 1 Corinthians 6:9-11, Paul says homosexual offenders, among others, will not inherit the kingdom of God. However, in verse 11 it clearly states "that is what some of you WERE.  But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God." This is the promise we hold onto and to which we point people.


HOW DOES A CHURCH START SUCH A MINISTRY?

Ministry to the homosexual is a job for the entire Church; however, it is important to have a special support system available for those needing help. Pray for God to place the burden for such a ministry on the heart of at least one person. This person does not necessarily have to be specially trained, nor does he/she need to come from a homosexual background. A leader must have a growing spiritual life, be grounded in the Word, and be willing to learn.

Our ministry is affiliated with Exodus International, an organization which networks "ex-gay" ministries and provides resources to help equip and support the ministries. There are about 70 such ministries in North America right now ... and that number is growing -- praise the Lord! Our ministry started in January 1990, and at that time I knew very little about this issue. Plenty of good Christian books about homosexuality are available to help the struggler and to equip ministry leaders.

Some good books available to help in ministering to the homosexual struggler include "Desires in Conflict" by Joe Dallas, "Pursuing Sexual Wholeness" by Andrew Comiskey, "Homosexual No More" by William Consiglio, "You Don't Have To Be Gay" by Jeff Konrad, and "Homosexuality: A New Christian Ethic" by Elizabeth Moberly. The book which was pivotal in helping my pastor understand the homosexual struggler is "Beyond Rejection" by Don Baker.


OBJECTIVES OF THE MINISTRY

Our ministry is nothing more than a discipleship of believers. Our goal is not to change people from a homosexual orientation to heterosexual, but to point them to God, to help them grow in the Lord. As they mature in the Lord, God will work in their lives and deal with the unmet needs and unresolved issues that kindle the same sex attraction. God helps them to change unhealthy habits of thought and deed, and then heal the way they relate to those of the same and opposite sex. We encourage men to learn how to relate to other men in a proper, holy way. God designed men to be drawn to the opposite sex and created in us a need for relationship with and affirmation from the same sex.

The fear of rejection is one of the most significant emotional issues homosexual strugglers deal with on a daily basis. To provide a place where they know they will be loved, supported, encouraged, affirmed, and kept accountable in a loving way will make all the difference in the world. HIS Ministry has some who come and, for the first time, share their struggle with someone else. This one step of faith is significant in releasing shame and breaking the bondage Satan uses to cripple a Christian. Jesus can now to speak to them and work in them in ways that were impossible before.


FORMAT

At this time HIS Ministry includes support groups for men, women, and family and friends. The men's and women's groups meet weekly; the family and friend's group meets monthly. We start with praise and worship in song, give a Bible-based lesson, promote discussion and prayer in small groups, and then end with a time of fellowship. It is truly a blessing to come together with courageous men and women who share intimate, gut-level issues, concerns and struggles ... and they are not just homosexual issues. This time of healing is powerful.


THE BLESSINGS

The blessings of being in this kind of a ministry are numerous. It is truly exciting to see men and women come into the ministry, defeated and desperate, then to closely witness God working in their lives. They enter into wholeness, walk into healthy relationships, begin to experience the freedom to serve and to minister to others as God calls them. Men and women who were so full of shame they were afraid to come to a group meeting now, as God calls them, are willing to step before their Bible study, their Sunday school class, or their church and share about their struggle and how God is alive and working in their lives. What a blessing to hear of pastors and churches who receive these men and women and support them.

As a ministry leader, the support group provides an opportunity for me to be transparent and share my own struggles, what God is teaching me, and how I am being tested. Through this I receive valuable support from my brothers and sisters.


WHERE IS GOD TAKING US?

There are countless opportunities in this type of ministry: phone counseling, correspondence counseling, outreach to the victims of HIV/AIDS, and evangelization in the gay community. We need to build bridges with sinners without accepting their lifestyle or their sin. After all, isn't this the way Jesus did it? He went right to the sinners and was labeled a sinner because of that. Jesus must be our model in any ministry in order for us to be salt and light.

For more information about ministering to homosexual strugglers or ministries in your area, contact:

Exodus International 
P.O. Box 2121
San Rafael, CA  94912 
(415) 454-1017

(Carl Conli is the lay director of HIS Ministry, a ministry of Sunrise Baptist Church in Fair Oaks, CA. Carl, his wife, Margaret, and their four children live in Fair Oaks, CA. He is the operations manager for a statewide medical group.)
Letters from our readers 
Letters from our readers 
I am a great fan of the "Scud Warnings" column in Morning Star.  Please consider compiling all the monthly SCUDS articles from Morning Star into a book.  In my opinion, this information is quite helpful and should be disseminated to a wider audience . . . Take care and God bless you! 

Bill Bledsoe
Las Vegas, Nevada


Thanks for sending me your disks with the Morning Star magazine. I think the magazine is brilliant. I am especially interested in the February issue which is nearly all about Messianic Jews. I am very much involved with the Jewish believers and I know they will enjoy reading this. I have given a disk with all six issues to Grant Wetherall, the leader of the Richmond Messianic Fellowship. Richmond is a suburb of London . . . I'll send out sample disks to a few people and see how they like the magazine. This is probably the best way of getting the distribution started in England. Maybe I can find someone who can distribute them on a regular basis. Thanks for all your efforts. I think you have produced a great magazine. 

Mike Gascoigne
Blackwater, Camberley
Surrey, England
The Bookworm
The Bookworm
Browsing with the Bookworm

This month we will examine several titles that deal directly and indirectly with the theme topic, "Recovering From Homosexuality." The last review is written by guest author K. David Kragen. (Boy, the amount of nepotism that goes on around here . . . but, when the Executive Editor says jump, I crawl.)


COMING OUT OF HOMOSEXUALITY (New Freedom for Men & Women) 
By Bob Davies & Lori Rentzel
InterVarsity Press, Downers Grove, IL, 1993

This is a new book written by Bob Davis, the executive director of Exodus International and Lori Rentzel, freelance writer. (For more information on Bob Davis, read our interview with him elsewhere in this issue, ed.) For this book, Bob and Lori draw from their own experiences and observations of hundreds of men and women's lives.

The focus of this book is very specific. It is written for those who are struggling with same-sex desires. It provides practical help for people who want the freedom to be what God desires them to be.

The book is written primarily for those who have had active involvement in the gay community. Nevertheless, it also will be very helpful for those who have never acted out their homosexual struggles. Finally, it helps those on the outside to understand the homosexual battle.

Davis and Rentzel present a full range of the concerns faced by the individual gay or lesbian. "Coming Out of Homosexuality" faces both the biblical and scientific position on homosexual behavior. It shows that from a biblical perspective this behavior is clearly sinful. It also points out the best scientific evidence supports a behavioral basis for homosexuality, not a physiological/genetic one.

The book provides practical advice for understanding the root issues for these behaviors. Davies and Rentzel advise homosexuals how to leave the gay community and also individual gay relationships.

A major issue for the homosexual is developing healthy same-sex relationships. The authors give suggestions for finding these types of relationships. As the individual grows and matures, moving from the sinful same-sex relationships, they frequently develop normal relationships with opposite-sex individuals. Therefore, the book also helps with issues of dating and romance. Finally, Davies and Rentzel present some help with marriage and marital intimacy issues.

The book includes three appendices: "Answers to Common Pro-Gay Arguments;" "For Further Reading;" and "Resources for Additional Help."

The next two books are intended for the clinician, counselor, pastoral counselor, or others working in a counseling setting with male homosexuals.


REPARATIVE THERAPY OF MALE HOMOSEXUALITY (A New Clinical Approach) HEALING HOMOSEXUALITY (Case Stories of Reparative Therapy)
by Joseph Nicolosi, Ph.D.
Jason Aronson, Inc., Northvale, NJ, 1991, 1993

Dr. Nicolosi is the founder and clinical director of Thomas Aquinas Psychological Clinic. He is the secretary-treasurer of NARTH -- National Association for Psychoanalytic Research and Therapy of Homosexuality. NARTH is a secular organization. It was formed to stand against the American Psychiatric Association's efforts to deny homosexuals therapeutic treatment.

"Reparative Therapy of Male Homosexuality" represents a direction within the Developmental view of homosexuality. It provides help for those with incomplete gender-identity development. It offers hope to both the therapist and client for successful "strengthening masculine identification." Combined with the biblical approach of Christian counselors, this book can be extremely helpful in working with the male homosexual.

Bob Davies says of the book: "This book is a delight to read. Written in simple English, its contents sparkle on every page with keen insights into the male homosexual condition." (back flap of the book jacket)

Nicolosi breaks the book into three sections: "Striving for Gender Identity;" "Related Problems;" and "Psychotherapy."

The first section deals with the clinical concerns of the roots of male homosexuality such as father-son relationships and bonds. It also examines how diagnosis is politicized, and the failure of the mental health profession to provide treatment.

Section two focuses on some other specific problems underlying male homosexuality. These include: childhood issues, mother and family relations, physiogenetic factors, personality traits, and gay community issues including the political aspects of denial.

Finally, Dr. Nicolosi presents a model for treatment. Here is where the second book "Healing Homosexuality," can be of significant help. This case study book provides examples of how the therapeutic model is carried out in practice. Illustrations are drawn from working with eight individuals, giving an overview of the practical issues within the therapeutic process.

Additionally, this book touches on the benefit of group therapy approaches as well as an overview of Reparative Therapy. If you are interested in finding out more about this approach, I suggest starting with "Healing Homosexuality." If you find it helpful, then move on to the more detailed exposition of the process in the first book.

These books are both very readable. They should be of interest, not only to the professional clinician, but also the pastoral or lay counselor who works with male homosexuals.

Our last book only relates indirectly to the subject of homosexuality. Today, many of the problems of human condition, including homosexuality, are seen as genetic conditions and therefore not requiring or allowing for change. This is not correct. Our guest reviewer, K. David Kragen, suggests a work that warns against the danger of the behavioral/genetic approach to the human condition.


EXPLODING THE GENE MYTH: (How Genetic Information Is Produced and Manipulated by Scientists, Physicians, Employers, Insurance Companies, Educators, and Law Enforcers) 
By Ruth Hubbard and Elijah Wald
Beacon Press, Boston, MS, 1993

CHAPTERS:  1. Of Genes and People. 2. Genetic Labeling and the Old Eugenics. 3. The New Eugenics: Testing, Screening, and Choice. 4. A Brief Look at Genetics. 5. Genes in Context. 6. "Inherited Tendencies": Chronic Conditions. 7. "Inherited Tendencies": Behaviors. 8. Manipulating Our Genes. 9. Genes for Sale. 10. Genetic Discrimination: Education, Employment, and Insurance. 11. DNA Based Identification Systems, Privacy and Civil Liberties.

"A revolution is happening in the biosciences. Newspapers and magazines constantly report discoveries of genes for this or that disease, disability or ability. Yet genetics remains a specialized subject, and few people are equipped to evaluate how the new wonders will affect them. . . .  We need to have a realistic sense of the positive contributions genetics and biotechnology can make, and of the risks inherent in the science, its applications, and its commercialization. . . .  Are [we] machines, so that it is safe to replace a gear here and a cog there, or are we too complex for anyone to foresee the effects of genetic tinkering?"  (Preface, p. xiii.)

Written for the uninitiated, Exploding the Gene Myth is a "basic survival handbook" for the conscientious citizen mystified by the "wonders" of the new genetic technology constantly splashed across the pages and TV screens of an enamored public media. Hubbard and Wald include copious notes, an extensive bibliography, and a useful glossary of terms and organizations. Hubbard is a professor of biology emeritus at Harvard and has written on the politics of health care since the early '70s. She is liberal in orientation, yet strives for an unbiased and sound analysis of the issues, carefully avoiding any axe-grinding. Hubbard does support "women's reproductive rights;" nonetheless, her regard for social justice and individual human worth ought to be appreciated by those of us in the conservative and evangelical Christian community.

One virtue of Exploding the Gene Myth is its even-handedness. Too often we Christians get caught up in hysterical diatribes against the "evils" of society, when we of all people ought to be compassionate and articulate in our critiques of culture, its philosophical tendencies, its values and dilemmas.

Central to Hubbard's work is a critique of the politics and conflicts-of-interest all too common within the genetics and medical industries. Of special interest to Christians, Hubbard clarifies the ideological connection between the Old Eugenics, popularized by early Fascism, and the New Eugenics found in many determinist and behaviorist analyses. She not only points out the reductionist fallacy of eugenics (i.e., we're completely determined by our genes), but warns of the eugenics threat to basic civil liberties. Hubbard also examines the claims that, for example, alcoholism and homosexuality are genetically determined. Her analysis of LeVay's research on the genetic basis of homosexuality is harshly critical of both the conclusions of LeVay's research and the sensationalist press given it by Newsweek and other media.

In conclusion, Hubbard writes, "DNA is frequently discussed as though it were the be-all and end-all of biology. A recent promotional video for the Genome Project [by the National Institutes of Health] starts with . . . 'Imagine a map that would lead us to the richest treasure in the world. . . . Not a treasure of jewels or gold, but a treasure far more important to humankind. This treasure is knowledge, the ability to chart our genetic blueprint. . . . When the Human Genome Project is completed we will know exactly where in the cells of our bodies every genetic inheritance of humankind is to be found'" (p. 158).  The trouble with this 'map' metaphor, explains Hubbard, "is that while geographic maps have obvious uses, it is not clear what one could do with a map of the entire human genome if one had it. While sequencing certain sections of the genome may be useful to scientists, mapping the entire genome will not tell us 'exactly where . . . every genetic inheritance of humankind is to be found.'  Indeed, the phrase is meaningless, though it conveys endless promise" (p.159).

Many new technologies have boasted "endless promise:"  atomic weapons, nuclear power, Nintendo, microchips, nanotechnology, eugenics. Like nuclear research, genetic biology is neither all good nor all bad. There are benefits to such study. But the benefits must be nurtured with care and guarded with informed and ethically uncompromising oversight. It is the present lack of such well-informed public oversight that underscores the timeliness of Hubbard's book. While one may take exception with certain of Hubbard's conclusions -- her brief assessment of genetic testing and education is too simplistic -D nevertheless, "Exploding the Gene Myth" is a key resource for a perceptive electorate seeking to be responsible citizens. It is a welcome cure for complacency and the tendency to give up control of our lives and our society to "the experts."

I hope that we have stimulated your interest in exploring any one of these works . . . so until next time, I'm your friend . . .

The bookworm
Praise & Prayer
Praise & Prayer
PRAISE AND PRAYER is our international prayer link column. Send your praise report or prayer request to MORNING STAR for publication in our next issue. Call on your brothers and sisters worldwide and together we will call on God!


PRAISE REPORTS

ALABAMA

Adrianne praises the Lord that her father-in-law came through the triple by-pass surgery excellently.

ARKANSAS

Kristy says our prayers have been answered beyond her wildest dreams.  Her son Matthew is coming home and will be able to participate in the special olympics. His lung functions have increased by 200 percent because of a brand new treatment for his Cystic Fibrosis.

Spencer got a new job in the post office and thanks the Lord. Spencer and his wife thank the Lord for Krystal who was born early January and is healthy. 

CALIFORNIA

Margo praises the Lord because her unbelieving husband attended church with her recently.

Jason, age two, is at home recovering from the stroke he had. Praise the Lord, he is recovering! The cause of his stroke is still not known and all tests were negative. Continue to pray for him and his parents, David and Laurie. 

COLORADO

The Lord has provided Gail with a full time job in addition to the church secretary job. Thank the Lord.

CONNECTICUT

Joe praises the Lord for the new job he has. He thanks everyone for their prayers too.

FLORIDA

Joy praises the Lord that her father, Ray, got a full-time job.

Denise's sister-in-law came through surgery very well. She had the removal of a dermoid cyst in her abdomen and even though she is 31 and mentally retarded, she tolerated everything very well. Thank you Jesus.
         
Norm says his wife just went through surgery and is recovering speedily. Thank you Jesus!

GEORGIA

Lucinda's church has a community outreach every Saturday morning. Eighteen made decisions for the Lord recently and sixty young people pledged chastity until marriage. Lucinda praises the Lord that she is relieved of most of her pain. She also got the job she was looking for!

ILLINOIS

Ralph wants to praise the Lord that the eye surgery to fix retina detachment was successful. 

Melinda praises the Lord as she got her test results back and she does not have cancer.

MICHIGAN

Darin thanks the Lord that he is still cancer free after six years.

Lucy thanks everyone for the prayer for her daughter in law, Heidi. She came through the surgery with flying colors. Heidi and husband Matthew dearly want children - please pray that they will be able to adopt.

NEVADA

Bill thanks the Lord that his carpel tunnel is healing.

NEW JERSEY

Mike praises the Lord that during a concert at his church, one of their choir members sang with them for the first time since a very serious car accident. She was stiff and tired afterward, but really glad to be there.

NEW YORK

Recently a young Hassidic Jewish gentleman came to believe in Jesus. He is engaged and felt that he had better tell his fiance (also Jewish). When he did, she told him that SHE came to know Jesus several months ago and was trying to figure out a way to tell him! Pray for their continued growth in Messiah Yeshua and that they remain strong as their families come to find out about their decisions.

NORTH CAROLINA

Robert thanks the Lord for a teenager named Robin who came to the Lord.

OKLAHOMA

We prayed for Pat and Virginia about running for a school board position against a New Age inspired Outcome Based Education program. Pat and Virginia won by a 61% to 39% margin! Praise the Lord!

Tim thanks everyone for their prayers. His sister and her three children 17, 15 and 13 were hit by a car. His 15 year old niece received a severe head injury that required emergency surgery to remove a blood clot near the brain. In just about four days she was fine, as though nothing ever happened. Even the local newspaper and the doctors gave credit to God for answered prayers. Continue praying for healing. Also please pray for another one of his nephews who is having heart problems.

OREGON

We prayed for the Lord to provide employment for Madeline. Thank the Lord, she was hired recently!

PENNSYLVANIA

Terri played the keyboard at a party where one of the guests sang "Oh Holy Night". This was the first time he had sung since his stroke seven years ago.  Thank you Jesus!

VIRGINIA

Frank & Cindy praise the Lord that they received initial approval to serve as career church planting missionaries. Pray that God will prepare the way before them in order to be able to go to the field as soon as possible. 

Thank the Lord that Kim accepted Jesus as her Savior.       


PRAYER REQUESTS

ARKANSAS

Spencer requests prayer for the health of his family, one of which came down with pneumonia.

CALIFORNIA

Larry asks prayer for the mom and dad of friend Larry. They are both dying of cancer. Pray that Larry is comforted and strengthened by the Lord during this time too. 

Pray for Dr. Paul Sweet and his family. Their son David, 8 years of age, chocked on some food that caused a loss of oxygen to the brain for 10 minutes. He never regained consciousness and went on to be with the Lord.

Patrick just recently had both legs amputated and needs prayer.

Steve popped a cervical disk which is into his spinal column causing a lot of pain.

Laurie in her early 30's has recently been led to believe that she has Multiple Sclerosis. Please pray for her. She has three children and a husband.

Lily needs the Lord's strength, financial provision, and employment.  

Pray for Cathy's mom, Marge, who is having transient ischemic attacks causing mini strokes. Pray that her blood pressure will be lowered too.

Sonshine requests prayer for cousin Nancy, an attorney, who has been unemployed for at least 2 years. This week she was in the hospital for a severe asthma attack. Pray that she be healed, find suitable employment, and that she comes to know the Lord.  
  
Shoshona asks for prayer for her husband who was unjustly fired from his job as a pharmacy technician. Pray for him as he is trying to "break in" to a new career as a voice artist. A demo of his skills to upload or send to interested professionals is available. 

Pray for a healing and strength from the Lord for Kathleen and her family. 
               
Geoff says that Kim, Mike Wilkinson's wife, has come home. She had a kidney infection and has recovered. Continue to pray for Mike as he is still out of work and in need of a job.

Margo asks prayer for Theresa who is pregnant. Her parents want her to have an abortion.

Pray for Pearl who lost her job due to the earthquake and wants to get back to work soon. Pray also for her salvation since she does not know Jesus yet. 

"L" asks prayer for her 27 year old son who is an alcoholic.

Pray for Danya and Sister, for the Lord to aid the relief efforts in their earthquake stricken community.

COLORADO

Gail's friend Terri and her husband have separated and he has filed for divorce. Terri is finally letting go and getting on with her life. The Lord has given her a promotion and is continuing to meet her needs. Prayer is needed for her daughters age 4 and 7.

FLORIDA

Joy asks for prayer for Christie, who had a mastectomy and is in stable condition.

Pray for Delrene who lost her job in healthcare and is looking for a new one.  

Continue to pray for Mae, who continues to have back pain and has pneumonia for the second time in 6 months.

Steve and his wife pray that their mortgage will be approved.

GEORGIA

Danny is to have surgery for hernia repair.
 
Linda has cancer and requests prayer for herself and her family.

ILLINOIS

Pray for Donna and Mike's family. Donna's father has gone to be with the Lord.

John requests prayer for Bill & Mary, a brother and sister in the Lord and their 14 year old son Ted.  Ted has a life-threatening case of pneumonia, and is not responding to treatment in the hospital.  He was born with muscle problem, has almost no coughing ability under best of circumstances, has scoliosis so can't sit up straight enough to uncramp his lungs.

INDIANA

Craig's wife asks for prayer to know God's will in her career.

Jennie has a prayer request for a 40 yr. old believer named Tom who was diagnosed with cancer of the pancreas. Pray also for his wife and 3 daughters who are in 7th, 5th, and 2nd grades. Keep Jennie in prayer as she ministers to them in the hospital.  
            
LOUISIANA

Pastor Walden's house burned down a couple months ago. He and his family barely escaped. The insurance company has yet to come through and the children need prayer as this was their home and they feel very sad.

MARYLAND

Continue to pray for Dale who was laid off and is job searching.

Dave asks prayer for Glenna who has cancer and Aids. She is strong in her faith, but strongly desires healing.

MASSACHUSETTS

Pray for Ray's grandaughter Julie who is having seizures.

Pray for Tony who lost his dad this week. Pray for salvation for Tony too.

Don is in the ministry and asks that God's Spirit will guide him to preach according to His will.

Shandi asks for prayer to grow stronger in the Lord in this new year and wants prayer for her unsaved family and friends.

Pray for Jeniffer's six week old daughter Grace, who is at risk of SIDS (sudden infant death syndrome).

MICHIGAN

Heidi is going to have surgery and needs prayer.

Dave asks prayer for his wife as she is facing a heart and double lung transplant. She is in Rochester, Minnesota at the Mayo Clinic undergoing the evaluation process for admission to the transplant program there.

MONTANA

Pray for the Lord's strength and provision for Scott and his family.

NEVADA

Bill dislocated his right kneecap.  Pray for healing.

Ron asks prayer for a friend, Kiya (Kiya means "life" in Hebrew) who is really very ill and refusing medical attention. Also, pray for salvation and healing for his next door neighbor Bill and his gal-friend Rose (both in their eighties) who is terminally ill with cancer. Pray for his ex-girlfriend & family for salvation and deliverance from alcoholism and possibly drugs (eldest son).

Anita's father in law had another black out after doing so well. Pray for his good health and her mother in law's health too. 

NEW  HAMPSHIRE

Continue to pray for Toby's arm/elbow which are slow in healing.

NEW JERSEY

Daniel needs prayer for spiritual strength and for the healing of his Pastor. 

Pray for Bess and Bethany, age 4 and 5, who face life without their father, who recently went to be with the Lord.

Matt asked for prayer for his brother-in-law who suffered a stroke. Pray for his health and his and his family's salvation.  

Mike asks guidance and wisdom for the job interviews soon.

Rick requests prayer for himself and Donna in studying the Hebrew language. 

NEW YORK

Tim is in need of Christian fellowship and prayer. 

NORTH CAROLINA

Mary asks us to pray for Harry, who is far from the Lord.

Eugene asks prayer for his employment situation as his contract is up soon. He has a wife and mother-in-law to support and care for. Pray also for his mother-in-law who has suffered strokes that have damaged her memory while leaving her physically unimpaired.

OHIO

Pray for Violet who is dying of cancer. Pray for strength for her son Terry and the others in the family.

Anita asks for prayer for direction in a job search.

Pray for Mae who will be going for surgery.

Bert needs prayer in order to get thru the red tape at the union hall in order to get back to work as a Cleveland, Ohio pipefitter. He has been out of work for 8 months.

Twelve year old Josh will have ear surgery soon.

OREGON

Mary, 18 years of age, was just recently released from the mental ward and is awaiting to see if she will be institutionalized again after another suicide attempt. Pray that she will find peace from this torment and that the Lord will place someone near her that knows Him. Pray for her mother and family also.

Ken asks prayer for Doris who is in a hospital dying from Congestive Heart Failure. She is in her 90's, a Christian who loves Jesus. 

Ken requests prayer for Madeline - an older lady, very skilled, who needs prayer for placement in a job and community that she can also minister to for Jesus. She is also having a hard time with a case of frostbite in her feet from last winter. Also need prayer for John, close friend of Madeline.  He is a recovering alcoholic and a 1/2 year old Christian. 

Stephanie asks prayer for her brother Steven and his wife Trisha who were separated 6 months ago. She had left him for another man and now wants to come home. They have given their lives to the Lord.  

Craig requests prayer for his father who is under attack by Satan because of generational involvement in occultic activities. The family asks for prayer for his salvation and for release from the bondage in which Satan has him.

PENNSYLVANIA

Mike covets our prayers for a new job the Lord is moving him to (since God is in control) and to help him get past the pain of getting laid off. His work is in computer programming/analysis, telecommunications and more.

Ron Elkin (AMMI Ministry) asks prayer for a witnessing campaign to be conducted in Philadelphia during 3/27 to 4/2. Pray for Phil and David who are both Jews, to find the truth of the Gospel. Tony, a new believer, needs spiritual growth. Pray for a court trial that will deal with the man (Fred W.) who assaulted Ron a couple of weeks ago while Ron was preaching. Pray for the development of a new evangelism ministry that will use sketch board drawings and for the healing of Richard's learning disabilities and short term memory and Ron and Jackie's diabetes. They also need God's direction regarding the selling of their home and the  healing of Ron's frequent ear infections.

TEXAS

Pray for Lynn and family, that the Lord will give them strength and direction in their lives.

Kevin needs prayer for a probate case in which he is heavily involved in. An aunt and uncle of a friend of his were killed in a car accident by a drunk driver and the case is still pending.  Also please pray for a friend, Paul, who has a growth of some sort in his throat.

VIRGINIA

Pray for Rob who has AIDS. Also pray that people will be more sensitive and caring about all those with this tragic disease.

WASHINGTON

Chris has been a Christian for three years but lately feels extremely far from God and really depressed.

Kevin asks us to pray for a situation involving his friend Steve.  There are legal problems involved and Kevin is owed a lot of money which he lent out. Kevin may face bankruptcy.

WISCONSIN

Pray for Molly who has a brain tumor. 

OTHERS

Anita has a prayer request for Daniel, a cousin who is 6 and has been diagnosed as having a Brain tumor.

PG's friend Teresa's mother is dying of cancer and suffering greatly. She loves Jesus and is ready to go home. Please pray that God will swiftly complete His will for her here so she can rest, and to give strength to Teresa who must care for her everyday.

Pray for Ted's father who has cancer. Pray also for Ted because he is having a terrible time dealing with this and the possible loss of his father.

Continue to pray for the daughter of Earla and Tim who was injured in the car accident. She is having some seizure activity.

Pray for Crystal who is bedridden from surgery. She has already lost a leg to diabetes and there are problems with the other. 

Julie's grandmother had surgery on Thursday to have some malignant tumors removed. Please pray for a smooth recovery for her. 


INTERNATIONAL PRAYER REQUESTS

ONTARIO, CANADA

Pray for Frank, age 69, who is in a very depressed condition, feeling stressed out and suffering from high blood pressure too. Pray he will accept Jesus as his Savior. Pray for his son Frank who has been a diabetic since age 7 and is jobless and going blind at the age of 30. Pray that he will accept Jesus also.

BRAZIL

Pray for the missionaries in Brazil, and Gavin who is a missionary living in Sao Paulo, Brazil.

INTERNATIONAL REPORTS

Persecution of house church Christians has been especially intense in northern Anhui Province (China), culminating in the arrest and recent sentencing of six preachers.  Last year, the Public Security Bureau began a common practice in the area of raiding unregistered Christian meetings - some having as many as 800 believers - and fining those present for participating in "illegal gatherings".

Since the province is mostly a poor rural area, persecution tends to draw little attention. Please pray for the following imprisoned church leaders:

Guo Mengshan, Zhang Jiuzhong, Ge Xinliang, and Li Haochen. 

Pray for the Pacific Islands and a spiritual revival in Australia and New Caledonia.
 
Cults are proliferating rapidly in Melanesia.  Pray for them.

Rapid growth of Mormonism in Polynesia - Tonga and the 2 Samoas are about 20 percent Mormon.

There is a need for evangelism in New Guinea's interior. Evangelism is needed desperately for the predominantly Muslim and Hindu Indians of Fiji - the most UN-reached peoples in the Pacific.

Please be in prayer for Muslims around the world. Ramadan, a month of fasting, began on February 11th. During this time muslims will fast during the day and seek guidance in visions and dreams. Pray that the One True God would give them real visions and dreams and through these lead them to Christ. There are many instances in the muslim world of muslims coming to faith in Christ in this way.

Afghanistan - the International Assistance Mission is an inter-agency Christian organization. Its loving ministry to the blind, maimed, sick, deprived, illiterate and needy has been a commendation of the Christian message that has borne fruit. Pray for them and for the recruitment of other dedicated tentmakers with a wide range of skills.
       
Amnesty International has received confirmation that Mehdi Dibaj was released from prison in Sari, Iran, on January 16, 1994. (Praise God!) He had earlier been sentenced to death on charges of apostasy - he converted to Christianity 45 years ago - and his execution was believed to be imminent. According to some reports, however, Mehdi Dibaj may face new charges. 

Missionaries to Northern Iraq in Kurdistan, William & Esther Brown, need prayer. They have begun their third year of service and have been the target of attacks including one bombing. Please pray they will be a good witness and have the strength and courage to continue their work there.  

Gul Masih, a member of the Presbyterian church in Sargodha, Pakistan is still imprisoned under a death sentence. Please pray that his appeal will go thru and he will be released. Also that he endures patiently the persecution and tortures.

IT ONLY TAKES A MINUTE AND SOME LOOSE CHANGE TO SEND A LETTER OF ENCOURAGEMENT TO THIS MAN, OUR BROTHER IN THE LORD:

WRITE TO:
Gul Masih
s/o Daulat Masih
Convict U/S 295 /c
District jail Sargodha
Sargodha, Pakistan

MORE THAN EVER, pray for the Peace of Jerusalem. (Psalm 122:6a).
Resource Section
Resource Section
EXODUS INTERNATIONAL

MINISTRY REFERRAL LIST - JANUARY 1994


Qualifications for Referral Agencies: Agreement with Exodus doctrine and policy; in existence at least two years; has a policy-making board or governing body with the power to remove or change leadership. The ministry director has been free from immoral sexual behavior for at least two years; has attended a national Exodus conference; is active in a local church and has spiritual accountability there.

The ministries listed below are equipped in various ways to help different people and may include any of the following: men and women overcoming homosexuality, family/friends, spouses, adolescent females and males, children of gay parents, HIV+ persons, pedophiles, female and male survivors of sexual abuse, heterosexual and homosexual sexual addicts, transsexuals and transvestites. 

Due to space considerations in MORNING STAR, we were only able to give names, addresses and phone numbers of these ministries. Contact ministries directly for details on the services they offer. Most ministries have phone message machines, and some ministries will ONLY return long-distance calls if you specify they may call you back collect. Also, phone support may require your making an appointment, and letter support may be for a limited time only.

You may also contact Exodus International directly at PO Box 2121, San Rafael, CA 94912. Phone: 415-454-1017. Fax: 415-454-7826.


ALABAMA

Nikon
PO Box 19631
Birmingham, AL 35219
205-942-0769


ALASKA

Kerusso Ministries
PO Box 210909
Anchorage, AK 99531
907-333-4673


CALIFORNIA

(L.A., Orange County & San Diego area)

Desert Stream Ministries
12488 Venice Blvd.
Los Angeles, CA 90066-3804
310-572-0140

Thomas Acquinas Psychological Clinic
16542 Ventura Blvd. #416
Encino, CA 91436
818-789-4440

(Sacramento Area)

HIS Ministry
c/o Sunrise Baptist Church
8321 Greenback Ln.
Fair Oaks, CA 95628-2699
916-969-3929

(San Francisco Bay Area)

Agapao
501 Cambridge St.
San Francisco, CA 94134
415-586-9495

Love In Action
PO Box 2655
San Rafael, CA 94912
415-454-0960

New Beginnings
175 Nortech Parkway
San Jose, CA 95134
408-262-0900

Transformed Image
PO Box 51411
San Jose, CA 95151
408-496-9888

Word of Life
1608 Claycord Ave.
Concord, CA 94521
510-685-4343

(Other Areas)

The David Project
42 Broamoor Plaza #3
Santa Barbara, CA 93105
805-569-2486

Liberty
PO Box 2652
Lompoc, CA 93438
805-735-8143

New Creation Ministries
2513 W. Shaw Ave. #102-A
Fresno, CA 93711
209-227-1066


COLORADO

Where Grace Abounds
PO Box 18871
Denver, CO 80218
303-322-2027


CONNECTICUT

HOPE Ministries
Box 604
60 Skiff St.
Hamden CT 06517
203-248-5274

Shoreline Christian Ministries
17 Water St.
Guilford, CT 06437
203-453-2390


DELAWARE

(See Pennsylvania - Harvest for a group in Wilmington, DE)


FLORIDA

Eleutheros
1298 Minnesota Ave.
Ste. D
Winter Park, FL 32789
407-629-5770

Eleutheros - Gainesville
2631 NW 41st St. Suite C-2
Gainesville, FL 32606
904-371-2466

Eleutheros - Jacksonville
5640 Timuquana Rd. Suite 6
Jacksonville, FL 32210
904-778-0638

Straight Ahead
c/o Calvary Temple
PO Box 16889
Temple Terrace, FL 33687
813-988-3557

Worthy Creations
3601 Davie Blvd.
Ft. Lauderdale, FL 33312
305-680-3538


GEORGIA

Katapauo
PO Box 95205
Atlanta, GA 30347
404-636-5924

Living Stones Fellowship
c/o Mt. Paran Church of God
2055 Mt. Paran Rd. NW
Atlanta, GA 30327
404-261-0720

Pneumatikos
PO Box 6808
Macon, GA 31208
912-825-1158


ILLINOIS

Nehemiah Ministries and Fellowship
PO Box 773
Urbana, IL 61801
217-344-4636

Reconstruction Ministries
3457 N. University #200
Peoria, IL 61604
309-679-1347


IOWA

Freedom Ministries
PO Box 12189
Des Moines, IA 50312-9404
515-244-8073


KANSAS

Freedom At Last
PO Box 13314
Wichita, KS 67213
316-267-8779

Second Chance Ministries
PO Box 12265
Overland Park, KS 66282-2265
913-541-1044


KENTUCKY

CrossOver Ministries
PO Box 23744
Lexington, KY 40523
606-277-4941


Pathway Ministries
PO Box 9404
Louisville, KY 40209-0404
502-361-2106


MAINE

Amazing Grace Ministries
PO Box 8234
Portland, ME 04104
207-879-2554

Crown of Life Ministry
PO Box 11404
Portland, ME 04104
207-828-1025


MARYLAND

Regeneration
PO Box 9830
Baltimore, MD 21284
410-661-0284


MASSACHUSETTS

Transformation Ministries of Boston
PO Box 1313 
Back Bay Annex
Boston, MA 02117
617-445-1787

White Stone Ministries
c/o Ruggles Baptist Church
874 Beacon St.
Boston, MA 02215
617-266-3633

HOPE Ministries
College Church
PO Box 203
Northampton, MA 01061
413-586-0057


MICHIGAN

Hyperniken Counseling Services
2020 Raybrook SE #206
Grand Rapids, MI 49546
616-942-2063

Reconciliation Ministries
PO Box 10237
Detroit, MI 48210-0237
313-730-8111


MINNESOTA

Eagle's Wings
c/o North Heights Lutheran Church
1700 Hwy. 96
Arden Hills, MN 55112
612-522-2782

Outpost
PO Box 7067
Minneapolis, MN 55407
612-827-1419


MISSOURI

New Dawn West
444 W. Grand
Springfield, MO 65807
417-866-2361

(see also Kansas - Second Chance for a group in Kansas City, MO area)


NEW HAMPSHIRE

ReCreation Ministries
PO Box 551
Manchester, NH 03105-0551
603-625-9132


NEW JERSEY

New Dawn Ministries East
PO Box 3689
Wayne, NJ 07474-3689
201-694-2938

(see also Pennsylvania - Harvest for a group in Princeton, NJ)


NEW MEXICO

Free Indeed Ministries
c/o God's People of Praise
2417 Wyoming NE
Albuquerque, NM 87112
505-275-9623


NEW YORK

All In His Name Ministries
c/o New Life Assembly of God Church
14 North Street
Buffalo, NY 14202
716-881-5558

HOPE Ministries of New York City
Calvary Baptist Church
123 W. 57th St.
New York, NY 10019
212-246-4357

Whosoever Will Ministry
PO Box 277
Middletown, NY 10940
914-374-8128


NORTH CAROLINA

Breaking Free
PO Box 225 DTS
Boone, NC 28607
704-963-7772

Crossroads
PO Box 10388
Charlotte, NC 28212
704-536-6705

Olive Branch Ministries
PO Box 20042
Raleigh, NC 27619-0042
919-829-1489

Recovery House (formerly Stepping Stones)
1524 E. Morehead St.
Charlotte, NC 28212
704-342-4433


OHIO

Healing Touch Ministry
PO Box 395
Dayton, OH 45459
513-885-1051

Prodigal Ministries
PO Box 19949
Cincinnati, OH 45219-0949
513-861-0011


OKLAHOMA

The First Stone
1411 N. Classen Blvd. #111
Oklahoma City, OK 73106-6619
405-525-3733

Restoration Outreach
PO Box 55236
Tulsa, OK 74155
918-254-1175


OREGON

The Portland Fellowship
PO Box 9205
Portland, OR 97207
503-235-6364


PENNSYLVANIA

Day Seven Ministries
PO Box 265
Elizabethtown, PA 17022
717-361-8414

Dunamis Ministries
1111 Wood St.
Pittsburgh, PA 15221
412-731-3828

Free!
321 Gettysburg Pike
Mechanicsburg, PA 17055
717-766-7904

Harvest
PO Box 53486
Philadelphia, PA 19105
215-985-4031


RHODE ISLAND

(see Connecticut - HOPE Ministries for a group in Providence, RI)


TENNESSEE

Promise
c/o Christian Counseling Services
PO Box 60383
Nashville, TN 37206
615-254-8341

Living Hope
PO Box 3352
Knoxville, TN 37927
615-673-6552


TEXAS

Christian Coalition for Reconciliation
PO Box 420437
Houston, TX 77242-0437
713-465-7045

Living Hope Ministries
PO Box 121012
Arlington, TX 76012
817-640-4044

Warrior! Ministries
2611 Baltimore Ave.
Wichita Falls, TX 76309-3705
817-322-2242


VIRGINIA

Set Free
PO Box 14835
Richmond, VA 23221
804-358-8150

Sought Out
168 Business Park Dr. #103
Virginia Beach, VA 23462
804-631-0099

Regeneration-North Virginia
PO Box 1034
Fairfax, VA 22030-1034
703-591-4673


WASHINGTON

Metanoia Ministries
PO Box 33039
Seattle, WA 98133-0039
206-783-3500

Transformation Ministries
PO Box 55805
Seattle, WA 98155
206-364-2306


WASHINGTON, DC

Transformation Christian Ministries
1017 12th St. NW
Washington, DC 20005
202-371-0800


WISCONSIN

Broken Yoke Ministries
25050 Bluemound Rd.
Pewaukee, WI 53072
414-896-0841


----- CANADA -----

BRITISH COLUMBIA

Another Chance Ministries
Burnaby Christian Fellowship
7325 MacPherson Ave.
Burnaby, BC  V5J 4N8
604-430-4154


MANITOBA

New Direction for Life Ministries
PO Box 1493
Winnipeg, MB  R3C 2Z4
204-943-6353


ONTARIO

New Direction for Life Ministries
PO Box 1078 Stn. F
Toronto, ON  M4Y 2T7
416-921-6557


----- INTERNATIONAL OFFICES -----

EXODUS EUROPE
True Freedom Trust
PO Box 592
London  SE4 1EF, England
081-314-5735

EXODUS SOUTH PACIFIC
Liberty
PO Box 308
Fortitude Valley
Queensland 4006, Australia
(07) 371-4705
SCUD Warnings
SCUD Warnings
S piritual
C ounterfeits
U ndermining
D octrine

W A R N I N G S

By Jerry Johnson


Gullible's Travels

My name is Lemuel Gullible and, yes, I do get teased about both my first and last names, but it's something I've learned to live with. What I wish to share with you is a most amazing, and rather unbelievable, adventure that happened to me while I was on the Seven Seas on a Christian Singles' Cruise.

We had been out to sea for about 5 days and although the sky and the sea had grown dark and a bit ominous, it did not dampen the spirits of hundreds of us who were searching to see if God's choice of a life mate for us happened to be wandering the same decks as we were.

Earlier in that day I had met a very attractive young Methodist woman from Davenport, Iowa and had invited her to join me for that evening's '60s and '70s Christian Retrospective Concert. Everyone had been having such a good time with the concert that we barely noticed the increased rocking of the ship.

After we had all sung "Kumbaya," following a rather lengthy debate as to whether it originated from the Caribbean, Africa or an unnamed youth minister in Cleveland, we closed singing "Who Will Answer?" by Ed Ames and I escorted my date back to her cabin, without getting a good-night kiss, I might add.

By the time I started to head back to my cabin the ship was rocking at such a severe rate that the few people I did happen to pass looked both very nervous and somewhat green. I, however, being either a natural seaman or simply stupid, found the rocking invigorating and decided to go up to the deck to see my first storm at sea, close up.

It was very exciting to see the power of the sea at work and I was quite enraptured by the sight of the waves, which is probably why I was more in awe than in fear when a huge wave washed over the deck, lifting me off the ship and into the ocean.

A number of deck seat cushions had been washed off the deck the same time I had been and, for a reason unknown to me, I was calm enough to tie the few I could reach together to make a flotation device. The rain began to come down so heavily that I quickly lost sight of the ship and, at that point, I simply asked the Lord to help me as much as He would and I prepared to ride out the storm to the best of my ability.

I do not know how long I clung to the raft, nor do I have any idea how I clung to the raft long enough to be washed ashore on a sandy beach, but as I felt the wet, hard sand beneath me, I thanked the Lord for sparing my life and promptly collapsed, asleep on the beach.

I awoke laying on my back, looking into a clear blue sky. As I tried to move I suddenly panicked, thinking I had become paralyzed, because I was unable to move. It was then I heard this chorus of small voices, obviously alarmed. As I turned my head to see where these voices were coming from I suddenly noticed that I was tied to a palate by numerous strings, or more accurately, pieces of thread. With a grunt I tightened my muscles and strove to sit up, successfully breaking most of the threads that held me.

It was then that I looked around and saw a most remarkable sight.

I was in the middle of a tiny little town and there were hundreds of little people, no bigger than an inch and a half, scurrying away from me in terror.

Now those who know me will readily attest that I am no threat to anyone and I was actually embarrassed and felt guilty that I was causing them  such distress.  I quickly said, "You don't have to run, I won't hurt you."

I don't know if it was the tone of what I said, or the fact that they understood the English that I spoke, but they nearly all stopped in their tracks and turned to look at me. It was then that I heard the faint voice of someone clearing their voice. I turned to see a balcony at about eye level to me where I sat, where a small pudgy man with a crown was trying to get my attention.

"Who are you and what are you doing here?!" He demanded.

"My name is Lemuel Gullible and I was washed off my cruise ship during a storm and evidently washed ashore here," I replied.

"Did one of the other Kingdoms send you to take us over, or kidnap our people?!" the King blustered.

"I told you, I was washed ashore and I mean no one any harm."

Suddenly I heard small alarm bells ringing and a great outcry, "The Kingdom of Notes has invaded and they are trying to kidnap our women for their soprano section!"

I was convinced I hadn't heard this correctly, but decided to stand to see what all the commotion was about. As I stood I could see that I was in the middle of a small village and to one side I saw quite a bit of action taking place as some tiny men and women were trying to take a number of little women away.

Instinctively I said, "Hey, stop that!" I must have said it louder than I thought because everyone, including the kidnappers, looked up at me in shock and then the kidnappers ran away in a panic.

The people of the village then started cheering and I had, through circumstance alone, become a hero.  As I looked about I noticed the King signaling me to sit down so he could speak to me.

As soon as I sat the King said, "Thank you Mr. Gullible for saving the women of our Kingdom."

I replied, "It was nothing, but could you please explain something to me? Did I hear someone say that the women were being kidnapped for a soprano section?!"

"Indeed, Mr. Gullible," the King said, "You see, you were washed ashore in the Kingdom of the Kingdoms of the Great King and I am King List of the Kingdom of Structure and Order of the Kingdom of the Kingdoms of the Great King. That raiding party was from the Kingdom of Notes of the Kingdom of the Kingdoms of the Great King, no doubt sent by King Treble himself to try to replenish his choir after a number of the women from his soprano section had left to supervise the young children in the Kingdom of Caring of the Kingdom of the Kingdoms of the Great King."

At this point I was no less confused and asked, "But if you all belong to the Kingdom of the Great King, shouldn't you be working in cooperation for the Great King?"

"Oh, but that's the main point, Mr. Gullible. We all want to serve the King very much, but we have more tasks and more Kingdoms than we have people, so we frequently need to, uh, recruit people from other of the Kingdoms of the Kingdom of the Great King."

The King went on to explain that there were the Kingdom of Structure and Order, the Kingdom of Notes, the Kingdom of Caring, the Kingdom of Youth, the Kingdom of Aged Wisdom, the Kingdom of Sunday Learning, the Kingdom of Home Learning Groups, the Kingdom of Ambassadors and a number more. Evidently people in the Kingdoms of the Kingdom of the Great King, which, for the sake of simplicity and ink I shall from now on refer to as KKGK, were to primarily align themselves with one particular Kingdom, although they could help in other Kingdoms, as long as their primary allegiance was not endangered or compromised. Using this system it was not unusual for members of the same family to live in separate Kingdoms, with some members commuting constantly from one to the other.

Because of the great number of smaller Kingdoms within the KKGK, there was extreme competition for anyone who appeared to have a talent or skill highly prized by one particular Kingdom. Therefore, there were frequent raids, bribes, promotions and such to draw or grab people from one Kingdom to another. Although the Kings of these Kingdoms would categorically deny any knowledge of these endeavors, they were frequently seen talking in a most ardent manner to members of the other Kingdoms. These various forms of recruiting frequently lead to much tension and territoriality between the various Kings.

King List informed me that because of these disputes it would be critical for me to work for the Kingdom of Structure and Order so that my sizable presence might discourage other Kingdoms from recruitment attempts, particularly from the Kingdom of Structure and Order.

I found all this information amusing and, frankly, unbelievable. That is, I found it unbelievable until it started happening to me. Within days of my arrival emissaries from various Kingdoms came to the small encampment I had set up outside of the Kingdom of Structure and Order. Representatives from the Kingdom of Notes wanted me to sing bass or, more accurately, be the bass section for their choir; people from both the Kingdoms of Sunday Learning and Home Learning Groups wanted me to be part of their Kingdoms to draw a crowd; the Kingdom of Caring asked me to join them thinking my presence would both fascinate the children and keep them under control; the Kingdom of Clean asked me to help clean up after various gatherings and the petitioners just kept coming.

By nature, I am a somewhat accommodating person, so I tried to help everyone who asked to the best of my ability. Within a matter of days I was busier than I had ever been, all the while being reminded by King List that my first allegiance was to the Kingdom of Structure and Order. I was soon amazed at how much pull people only an inch and a half high could exert over my life.

After about three weeks of harried activity I was approached by yet another Kingdom representative who asked me to sing for the Kingdom of Notes.

"But I'm already singing bass for King Treble," I replied.

"But I come on behalf of King Cantata of the Kingdom of Notes, not King Treble"

"Has King Treble been replaced?" I asked.

The little man squinted at me for a second and then nodded knowingly; "Then they haven't told you, have they?"

"Told me what?"

"This is not the only Kingdom here."

"I know that," I replied, "there are the Kingdom of Notes, the Kingdom of the Caring, the Kingdom of . . ."

"No, you don't understand," he said. "You are in the Kingdom of Notes in the Kingdom of Center in the Kingdom of the Kingdoms of the Great King.  I come as a representative of the Kingdom of Notes in the Kingdom of the Northside in the Kingdom of the Kingdoms of the Great King."

He went on to explain that there were many of these Kingdoms made up of sub-kingdoms, all competing for the same pool of people. When I asked if they ever recruit from somewhere else besides the KKGK he said that they rarely went out to the Barbarous region because they usually were rebuffed and the recruits they did get were rarely skilled in the areas the sub-kingdoms needed, so inter-kingdom raids were still the most common form of recruitment.

After the man had left I thought intently on all the things I had experienced over the past weeks. I found it hard to believe that so many people, claiming allegiance to the same Great King, were so distrustful and uncooperative with each other.

That is when I decided that my only recourse was to get away from this land of tiny competitive people. I spent the next few days walking along the beaches looking for something I could make a raft out of. However, I don't know how to build the kind of raft I would need to get out to the shipping lanes, so I hide out in the woods on this crazy little island stuffing copies of this journal into bottles I find on the beach and throwing them out to sea, hoping someone finds them and will rescue me.

The trouble is, who would ever believe that there are kingdoms that work like this?


Next time: Referendum Revival or Blessed by the Ballot
Commentary
Commentary
GAY CHRISTIAN? WHERE IS YOUR IDENTITY?

By David Morrison


The following is part of "Beyond Gay, One Man's Journey To A New Identity," a longer essay which I wrote in the Spring of 1993, the bulk of which cannot appear here because of space limitations. In "Beyond Gay" I briefly chronicle the Lord's path in my life which led me from a life of active homosexuality and Gay Activism to a chaste life in Christ's Service. The following excerpt is from the last part of the essay (which I consider to be its heart) in which I challenge any of my brothers and sisters who are still homosexually active to reflect a bit on who they are in Christ and who they are allowing Christ to be in their lives.  


Beyond Gay : An Invitation to Reflection

As I said in the beginning, I wrote this account of my journey primarily to invite reflection of fellow Christians who have a homosexual orientation. Of them I would ask, where are you with your walk with Christ? Who is Lord in your home and bedroom? And on what have you built your identity?

I chose to address the question of identity because it is from our identity that I believe so much of our behavior flows. One of the reasons I believe I have been spared a legalistic spirit as God has led me along this path is because I have been led to focus on identity. If one's identity is still rooted in sexuality, any attempt to restrict the expression of that sexuality will likely be nothing more than an attempt to impose external rules and regulations.  

But if one's identity is rooted in Christ, in service to Him and to seeking His face, then any effort to discipline behavior is more likely to flow naturally from the knowledge of our identity in Him.  Does that automatically guarantee our total success in living the Christian life? Sadly no, but it does make it easier and when we fall short of the ideal it makes it a whole lot easier to pick ourselves up, dust off and keep going.


Christ's Cross Our Center

My friend Steve Brown, a Presbyterian Seminary professor and dear friend, reminds me every once in a while that the Christian life is not easy for anyone alone - it's impossible! Its not easy to seek purity, its not easy to be good to people who wrong us or to be selfless when we would be self-centered, but that is exactly what we are called to be in Christ and it is the sufficiency of Christ's actions on our behalf that even make that possible. 

Dietrich Bonhoeffer wrote in the Cost of Discipleship: "When Christ calls a man, he bids him to come and die.  It may be a death like that  of the first disciples who had to leave home and work to follow him, or it may be a death like Luther's, who had to leave the monastery and go out into the world. But it is the same death every time - death in Jesus Christ, the death of the old man at His call." Bonhoeffer wrote that to help illuminate the principle that there is no faith without obedience and no obedience without faith. And I can testify that I did not encounter Christ in a meaningful way until I began to try living in obedience to Him in light of His cross.

Eventually every Christian with a  homosexual orientation, I believe, must face Christ's Cross in terms of their entire life, sexual orientation and all. If you are someone who is still homosexually active, where have you put your life in relation to that Cross? And if Christ is not Lord in your sexual life, where is he Lord?  

Here is a definition of being Gay that I have come up with after many hours of reflection on my life and the parts of my Gay friend's lives with whom I am acquainted. Consider it privately and honestly and see if it doesn't contain more than a germ of truth:

"Being Gay means giving oneself over to one's homosexuality to the point where it becomes a foundation of one's identity, influencing and dominating all other aspects."

That is as simple a definition I can get, and if you doubt its accuracy think about a couple of thoughts that led me to it: One can be a person with a homosexual orientation, but one cannot be Gay and be a person with just a homosexual orientation. Because it is in the act of self-identification, "coming out", which is so important to the Gay community that one sacrifices individual personhood for identity in the group. Homosexual orientation moves from being a peripheral aspect of ones personality to being a defining aspect.

And if you are a Christian who has done this, I believe there is reason to examine your heart for evidence of idolatry. That sounds harsh but I don't mean it to. Just as having to tell a friend their breath is bad means speaking plainly and risking their feelings, so does speaking honestly about something like this.

Identity is like a pair of glasses. It is through our understanding of self that we interpret and view God, people and our world.  I believe that is why Paul, in writing the Church in Corinth for the second time: "From now on, therefor, we regard no one from a human point of view; even though we once knew Christ from a human point of view, we know him no longer in that way" (2nd Corinthians 5:16).  What was it about the readers that Paul thought would change their way of looking at themselves and each other?  It was living in the light of faith in Christ Jesus.

Think for a second about the way Paul's words bear on our own lives if we still look at people through the eyes of a sexual identity rather than an identity based in Christ. Consider cruising, for example. Can there be an activity that is more associated with a Gay identity than cruising? And, simultaneously, is there any way of relating to people which is more selfish? If we cruise we view people exclusively through the lens of how they might satisfy our needs; is he handsome enough, is he wealthy enough, is he young enough, sexy enough, submissive or dominant enough? Is he what I want and need right now? And if he is not, then don't waste time on him.

Such a selfish way of looking at people blinds us, I believe, to how God would have us look at people; in terms of their needs, their brokenness, loneliness, grief, uncertainty, and fear. An identity built on sexuality will always be more inclined to view people as objects for our use and needs, in my opinion. An identity built on Christ looks at people and even all the world with a more transcendent point of view.

Consider the Christian life as practiced by Christians over the centuries. Think of the earliest disciples, apostles, bishops and martyrs, about how they lived their lives and died their deaths.  They are our older brothers and sisters in Christ, and I feel every Christian with a homosexual orientation must be willing to evaluate our lives in the light of their witness. What do you suppose Barnabas, gentle but firm as he was, would have said about our "right" to engage in whatever sex acts we wanted? How would Bonhoeffer himself, martyred in Germany by Hitler's direct order, view our walks with Christ?

When I look back on my time as first a Gay Christian, and then as a Christian Gay, I realize now that I was really seeking to have it both ways. I wanted Christ, but without the Cross; Easter Sunday without Good Friday, my freedom without offering my shackles to be shattered. To use the language so often found in 12 step groups, I spent much of my time in "denial" and it took Christ to lift me out of it.

My purpose in writing all this has not been to call names, throw rocks or lift up impossible standards for people. Rather is has been to write as a Christian who has a homosexual orientation to others who share that orientation and to tell the story of my life and what Christ has done with it. I write to inform and, I hope, stimulate reflection and discussion on the part of Christians who have a homosexual orientation about what being a disciple of Christ really means. I would like to close this tract with a quote from  Bonhoeffer once again:

"And if we answer the call to discipleship, where will it lead us? What decisions and partings will it demand? To answer this question we will have to go to Him, for only He knows the answer. Only Jesus Christ, who bids us to follow him, knows the journey's end. But we do know it will be a road of boundless mercy. Discipleship means joy."


The entire text of "Beyond Gay" is available on the America Online network in the Christian library of the Religion & Ethics forum.  David Morrison can be reached via Internet at: dcmorrison@aol.com